


Blue Moon

by debpetrisor



Category: Beautiful - Monsta X (Music Video), Dramarama - Monsta X (Music Video), Fighter - Monsta X (Music Video), Monsta X (Band), Shine Forever - Monsta X (Music Video), 걸어 | All in - Monsta X (Music Video)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-06 15:58:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 58,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12820974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/debpetrisor/pseuds/debpetrisor
Summary: "They’re trials," he mumbled incorrigibly to himself, before turning to speak to everyone. "In order to redeem ourselves, we need to face a number of trials, each designed to our past experiences," he said, his eyes lighting up with each word he spoke. "We defeat the trials, and we’re free."





	1. Beside

The eerie silence was deafening, the white noise irritating him as he walked down the hall, only the click–clack of his boots echoing off the walls, his long coat trailing behind him. His fingers raked through his unruly curls, a habit he’d acquired while watching the people he cared for the most. All were still in a dormant state, battling their inner demons that were far more dangerous than the war they’d experienced first–hand. Watching their struggle against the imprisonment of their own actions and minds, as well as the feeling of helplessness, was taking its toll on him. 

The first room he passed by emanated a deep blue light, so unlike the others, as the struggle he’d faced was one entirely different from the others’. Through the small, round windows, he caught a glimpse of the person trapped inside, who’d gone from a physical prison to a mental one, still overcome by the death of his loved one. Surrounded by greenery, akin to a whole forest enclosed in the small, white–walled room, the boy inside was sprawled on the floor, the shrubs closest to him wilting away, like his will to live a day longer. 

As though pulled out of a reverie, he stepped away from the windows, his fingers moving to pinch the bridge of his nose. He’d been there, omnipresent through all the hardships the trapped boy had undergone, and watching him in his current helpless state was something he couldn’t go through much longer. 

The overseer leaned closer to the small windows to peer through the glass once again. He’d already left the vial inside, the one that radiated with both life and death. The deep blue liquid inside was so bright that its gleam bounced off the walls and gave the plants an ethereal glow, and yet it was the same liquid that had taken his identity away from him. It would be up to him to face death, or to choose to cherish what was still brimming with life. 

Seeing that the boy’s lids fluttered lightly, his eyes finally opening, he walked away and moved to the following room. 

While the previous room gave away a tranquil aura, this one was its exact opposite. Steel–coloured walls glowed under the bright lights, various swords and knives lining the cold, concrete floor. The polished weapons reflected the lights in such a manner that they put his next subject in an unwanted spotlight. In the middle stood none other than this room’s prisoner, whose inner demons might just be the hardest to battle. 

The overseer closed the distance between himself and the sealed door to scrutinize the hostage, this time not through the round windows, but through a full sized one that gave him a better glimpse of who lay inside. He appeared to be at peace, almost serene, but it was his uncontrollable wrath that had trapped him in the confines of these walls in the first place. His willingness to do whatever it took to find the location of the delphinium flowers was so strong that he broke away from physical ailment. Driven by anger and violence, his determination to help the ones close to him was so apparent that he went as far as taking one’s life to find the flower. Too impatient to search for a different solution, he’d faced the world with aggression and, ultimately, fell into his own mental prison, which left him as the only one capable of freeing himself from its confines. 

The overseer delivered a hammer through the small opening in the door that matched the anvil inside the room just as the boy inside came back to his senses, consciousness flooding him. His eyes, dark as the night, brimming with fury, met the overseer’s before he looked away and moved to examine the next room. 

Upon seeing the now familiar, purple hues that the room exuded from the small window, he dreaded what was awaiting him inside. The size of the window represented just how closed off this room’s prisoner was as a result of a different illness – depression. Protective of his friend to a fault, he was first driven by violence, and lastly despair, feeling like a failure due to the inability to protect and care for those dear to him. 

The room was drowned in purple, looking like dusk, right before the sun sets, his depression keeping him away from the light of the day. Pendulums hung from the ceiling all around him as he sat lazily, emotionlessly, wide awake but unmoving, his back flat against a wall, and staring into space. Having lost touch with reality, time was passing him by. 

The overseer provided him with a tool meant to make him face his problems – a pocket watch stuck on a significant time, so he can see how much time he had wasted by dwelling in his depressed state. Then he moved across the hall to the next room. 

Through a small window identical to the one opposite from this door, he peered inside the room full of mailboxes, its prisoner being also the keeper of the keys to all of them. He opened one at random, out of which he pulled a letter that he unfolded to read. 

All those letters could represent love, friendship, or hatred. They could be the words of those around him, like family and friends, or of those who would aim to put him down in life, but he was powerless because all he could do was read them. Having always been a follower, he had lost the power to respond. 

The overseer watched as the boy trapped inside craned his neck to look towards the ceiling silently, a look of helplessness and hurt painted across his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration as he slid down a wall, his broad shoulders hunched – he had no voice, which is why what he’d been delivered was a pen and an ink pot, something that would give him the ability to write back, to respond to all the words he’d heard his whole life, but never responded to because of his lack of confidence to step up for once. 

Into the second to last room he could see clearly. A tall window offered a good view at the sand and fragments that littered the floor, everything broken just like the trapped boy’s heart who suffered from an identity crisis – he didn’t know himself anymore. Eventually, he turned from confusion to anger, no longer absently running his slender fingers through the sand, but instead kicking it, broken fragments flying everywhere in the room. 

Through a small opening in the door, the overseer provided him with the means to see himself – a mirror. He must face who he was, what he did, what was done to him, and choose a future for himself. 

The last room was unlike all others – it was already open as the boy inside was not dealing with a major struggle. He was surrounded by wealth, so much that coins, bronze and silvery and golden, were stacked into immense piles, as well as gold bars and bills. Lifelessly and carelessly, he let a bunch of coins fall from his hand and followed as they bounced off the floor with high pitched clinks, their glimmer brightening the room. 

Fortune meant nothing without people to share it with, which is why he threw it in the cackling flames in the fireplace. Upon seeing this, the overseer knew he didn’t have to deliver anything to aid the person inside, as all he needed was for the others to escape their mental prisons. 

He represented all that the X–Clan was truly for – love and support.


	2. Beautiful - Shine Forever - Oath

"We,   
We’ll shine brighter,   
and fill out the empty spaces with one another. 

We,   
We’ll shine on each other,   
we’ll be the only spotlight,   
every moment will be a highlight. 

We,   
We’ll shine forever." 


	3. Beautiful - Shine Forever - One

They were flying. 

But it wasn’t the carefree flight of a bird that only spread its wings as far as they would go, and allowed itself to be carried away by wind in whichever direction it wished. It felt as though time moved on slow motion as the vehicle they were trapped in spun once in the air, the heavy metals groaning under the pressure of the unnatural movement, shards of glass flying in every direction. 

Then it happened. 

The car finally touched the ground again, but that touch was the last of what Kihyun had felt, as the massive vehicle had dropped on one side, crushing the driver’s seat which he had occupied. But it was alright, he supposed. He sent one last prayer for the occupant of the seat next to his before he blacked out and the vehicle spun one more time, to finally settle into a ditch with a loud thud. 

When Minhyuk regained consciousness, the first thing he registered was a warm trail that stretched from his temple to below his cheekbone, his head throbbing so bad that he squeezed his eyes shut as if the small action would take the pain away. He wasn’t in the least surprised when his fingers came off crimson after touching the wound in the corner of his mouth. Glass was broken and littered all around the car, but at a first examination, none of it had punctured his skin. He breathed raggedly in relief when one by one, he checked that he still felt and moved his toes. 

_Kihyun._

Kihyun had been with him when the accident had happened, and only then did it cross his mind to check to his left. His younger friend was there, still trapped in the strong hold of the safety belt, his head slightly lolled to the side, and his dark hair that fell into his eyes was matted with drying blood against his forehead. 

"Ki–" 

His throat was sore, burning even. He tried to clear his throat, but to no avail. He coughed once, twice, but the pain only seemed to intensify, and even breathing became a nuisance, making him wonder whether anything had punctured his lungs and he was too dazed to feel it. 

"Kihyun," he tried to call again, but the boy looked seemingly unconscious, his sharp features relaxed into soft lines, only his lips set slightly apart. Minhyuk tried to shake him back to consciousness, but none of the things he’d tried appeared to have any effect on the younger. 

Coughing, he pushed against the door, its metal protesting at first, before he applied more force and it yielded with a heart stopping screech. He stumbled at first, having overestimated his strength, and dropped to his hands and knees, adding one more scratch to his current collection. A hiss escaped his lips when the pain in his chest intensified with the fall. He pulled the collar of his shirt aside to peer at the painful bruise formed by the strong hold of the safety belt before letting it fall back in place. In his struggle to push himself to his feet, Minhyuk became aware of their surroundings, and realized gladly that smoke was not rising from any side of the car, but he knew they weren’t safe near the vehicle – the smallest spark under the hood could blow both of them up. 

If he thought it difficult to open the door, the one on Kihyun’s side was a whole different story. It was bent in such a manner that it gave way to worry and panic, but he reminded himself that he needed to stay focused on his task and move the brunette as far as possible from the car that might combust at any moment. He wasted not a moment longer to try to awaken him, but instead threw Kihyun’s slender arm around his neck, and used the last grain of strength left in him to pull the boy out, and drag him a few meters away from the ditch. 

Kihyun now lay on the side of the road their car had swerved off from, but still gave no sign of consciousness and, with a knot setting in his throat, Minhyuk realized, nor a sign of life. 

He looked at his hands that did that to Kihyun, clenched them into fists. They were scraped and bloodied when he moved them to each side of Kihyun’s cold face. 

" _Kihyun_ ," he urged, patting his cheeks lightly. "Kihyun, wake up." 

With dread, Minhyuk lowered his face until it hung right above Kihyun’s, but he couldn’t feel, nor hear any breaths, not even a weak one. His anxiety levels increased so much that he found it more and more difficult to breathe, to the point where he was wheezing right next to a lifeless Kihyun. There could be internal damage, for all he knew, as his lungs felt like they were closing up. The world around him started to spin, and he hit his head a second time as he collapsed and became unconscious. 

The next time he awoke, Minhyuk noticed immediately that he was no longer lying on the concrete, but instead he was spread on his own bed that he immediately recognized by the small knick–knacks that hung to the side when his fingers moved about and settled on them. His hand moved up to his temple, where instead of the dried blood over his injury was a clean bandage, and it stopped immediately when the tips of his fingers came off sticky with ointment after moving them to the corner of his mouth. Someone had also changed him from the clothes that had been destroyed by the accident into his old pyjamas, the familiarity of the soft material torn in random places from old age bringing a small smile to his face, before reality settled in. 

He opened his eyes when he heard a distant sniff. His temples throbbed, his sight was blurred out, and his heart ached when random memories flashed before his eyes. When his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he recognized the black silhouette as being Hyunwoo's, dread settled in the pit of his stomach. He’d been in an accident. He was hurting all over, he remembered bleeding heavily, but– 

_Kihyun_. He’d been too concerned about Kihyun, the image of him lying there lifelessly shaking him to his core. He refused to admit that what he'd witnessed before falling unconscious was a reality. It couldn't be. 

"Kihyun," he muttered, his throat aching. "Where is he?" 

Hyunwoo stood up without replying, only fetching a glass of water that he offered him. He wasn’t sure how to approach the subject, so instead he tried to focus on Minhyuk’s well–being. It was going to tear him apart when he found the news, and Hyunwoo wished he had the power to avoid it, to bring everything back to normal, but he didn’t. 

"Minhyuk–" Hyunwoo tried to put his hand on the blond's shoulder in what he thought to be a comforting manner, but Minhyuk groggily jerked away. 

" _Where is he_?" 

The elder sighed in response, looking away. 

"Answer me!" 

The dam broke. Minhyuk’s eyes were flooded with tears. The lack of response planted the darkest images in his head, and the memory of a breathless Kihyun wasn’t helping matters. 

"No, this can't be–" he breathed heavily, and jumped out of bed. The movement was so sudden and, having overestimated his strength, he nearly toppled over if it weren’t for Hyunwoo who caught him in time before he hit the ground. 

"Minhyuk, please don't move. Your injuries–" 

He looked at his older friend, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. " _Injuries_? Do you seriously think I'll worry about my _injuries_? My–my injuries–when Kihyun–" 

"He's alive, Minhyuk," Hyunwoo cut him off. "But he–his eyes–he won't–" 

In a flash, his mop of dishevelled snowy hair was buried in the crook of Hyunwoo's neck, tears flowing uncontrollably, and sobs shaking the younger boy's entire body so hard that the elder held him as if he were Minhyuk's lifeline. The boy's beautiful features contorted as he cried for endless minutes, creases lining his normally soft face. Everyone was in a foul mood, taking turns in watching over their injured friend who had always been the one to care for them instead, but the two boys born only several days apart had had the strongest bond, and the happenings would take their toll on Minhyuk. 

He pushed away from Hyunwoo when the sniffs became louder, and as he wiped his tears with the frayed ends of his sleeve, his reddening eyes met Changkyun's own swollen eyes. Their youngest had recently joined their clan, and although reluctant at first, Kihyun had been the one to take him under his wing and protect him at all costs. 

"Changkyun, I'm–" 

"Hyung, I might just punch you if you say you're sorry." 

"I–I wish I could've–" 

The two locked in a tight embrace, more tears spilling that soaked each other's shirts, and as their sobs subsided, their home became eerily quiet. They were a boisterous bunch, loud and all over the place, but Kihyun's current absence was highly noticeable. He would always be the one to move things about, or nag about odds and ends. 

Hyungwon, while still not a part of the clan officially, had the rest of the boys warm up to him and accept him for whom he was, despite his father being the one person who wished to bring them down. But there was one person he'd always looked forward to seeing, one person that never failed to make his heart flutter with each smile he threw his way. And it was no ordinary smile – crinkles would form around the boy's eyes, and small lines would crease his cheeks. The same lines marked the boy's face now, but it wasn't because of a smile. He was curled up in a ball on the wooden stairs to the porch surrounding their house which have seen better days, crystalline droplets silently rolling down his cheeks. Upon seeing how his body shook with quiet sobs, Hyungwon wanted nothing more than to wrap an arm around his shoulders, and pull him into his side. 

He wasn't nearly as close to the snowy haired boy as he would've liked, but at the same time, Hyungwon's heart ached when he saw him like that. Hesitantly, and with quiet steps as to avoid the creaking panels on the porch, he approached the elder. 

"Hyung?" 

Minhyuk had been so lost in his own thoughts that he'd let his guard down completely. He rubbed his puffy eyes with his knuckles, before looking behind to find Hyungwon peering at him hesitantly. Hyungwon was an interesting character, he thought. The chief's son, and yet such a meek, clever but timid boy who had chosen to go against his father's demands, and instead spend time with them after Minhyuk had found him beaten up on the side of the road. 

"Hyungwon," his raspy voice had thickened thanks to all the crying. "I thought you went to bed with the rest." 

The brunette shook his head. "Can I sit?" 

"Suit yourself." 

An uncomfortable silence was about to set between the two, but eventually Hyungwon had found the courage to speak up. There were so many things that had been left unsaid, and he wanted badly to be helpful, to comfort the ailing boy. 

"Don't blame yourself for–" 

"Don’t. Please leave if you–" 

"No." 

Minhyuk's eyebrows rose. " _No_?" 

"I'll leave if you want me to, but I'll just say this – none of this was your fault." He stood up to leave, but stopped in his tracks when Minhyuk yelled after him. 

"Oh, yeah? Then whose fault is it, Kihyun's?" 

"No one's," Hyungwon shook his head, before deciding to leave Minhyuk to his thoughts. "There are things that are simply out of our control." 

Minhyuk's head dropped back on his knees, more sobs shaking his entire body. He wished he could do anything to numb the pain in his heart, but he didn't deserve numbing, not after what had happened to Kihyun while on his watch. Kihyun had always been one to appreciate their surroundings the most, he was one for admiring everything that was aesthetically pleasing, his eyes glistening in glee at the sight of anything he found beautiful, and now because of Minhyuk, it had been taken away from him. 

He wanted to end it all. The others would be better off without him anyway, he thought. He'd always been the main troublemaker. If anything, they’d be relieved to be rid of him. 

He was at war with himself, however. He thought of Hyunwoo, who cared about them the most out of the group, and how disappointed he'd be to learn that Minhyuk had taken the easy way out, instead of facing the consequences. He thought of Hoseok, the buff boy with the softest heart, at how much longer he would weep at the loss of a friend. He thought of Kihyun, who would have his hide if he knew he was even considering such things. He thought of Jooheon, who seemed to be the one to bring them back together whenever they forgot who they were, the one that would surely tell Minhyuk a piece of his mind. He thought of Changkyun, the youngest and wisest of the group, to whom he'd warmed up considerably since the boy's arrival, the one too young to deal with deaths. And he thought of Hyungwon, the boy who made him feel again in this world full of darkness, who came into his life like a ray of sunshine that warmed his heart. 

He was going to end it all.


	4. Beautiful - Shine Forever - Two

"Turn around," Hyungwon breathed, the soft material already in his hands. 

Obediently, Kihyun turned his back to where he assumed Hyungwon stood in the small kitchenette. His fingers held the fresh bandages in place as Hyungwon wrapped what he'd told Kihyun was a sheer, black piece of material around his head, covering his eyes. It was not as though it made any difference, as he'd had to adapt to the permanent darkness for the past few days. He missed the smallest of things that he'd taken for granted before, like seeing the light through his closed lids first thing in the morning, which prodded him to wake up at sunrise. Now, each time he came back to consciousness felt like he awoke in the middle of the night. The only blessing was that he couldn’t see the pity in everyone’s eyes. 

Kihyun released a breathy laugh when he felt the unfamiliar material being secured in a light knot at the back of his head and around his eyes. He moved his fingers over the softness of it. "It’ll take some getting used to," he tried to brush it off lightly, but both knew what awaited him – a whole new lifestyle to adapt to. 

He turned away from Hyungwon, having a vague idea of where he was positioned, and after momentarily waving his hand through the air, he found the countertop, and ran his fingers over its smooth surface. He explored it, doing his best to remember where everything was positioned. 

"You know all of us are here whenever you need anything." 

"I’d rather not count on that and be a nuisance." 

"You won’t–" 

Kihyun smiled, although his back was to Hyungwon and the taller boy couldn’t see it. "I know. It’s just my choice. I’ll manage." 

Silence filled the kitchenette where the two were cluttered. Kihyun could almost feel the other’s gaze burning on him, but to Hyungwon’s credit, he kept his thoughts to himself. He could only imagine how hard it was on Kihyun, especially with that big ego of his, making it even more difficult to deal with the helplessness he felt. 

"Hyungwon, I want to see him." 

_See him_ , he thought bitterly with a huff. He needed to get that word out of his vocabulary. 

The past few days have been hard on Kihyun, but he’d taken everyone by surprise when he hadn’t spent a day longer than necessary in bed, and instead had taken up exploring their house to familiarize himself with the surroundings. It felt as if he were in an unknown place, having never considered how different it would be to walk down the halls with no sight. He’d lost count of the times he bumped into counters, hit his toes in various places, or pushed and broke objects, but the most noticeable thing was Minhyuk’s absence whenever he’d checked his bed first thing in the morning, or other times late at night. 

"Yeah," the tall brunette spoke absently. 

" _Yeah_? What do you mean, _yeah_? It's been over a week since the accident, and I haven't heard from him ever since. And don't lie to me that he's recovering from injuries, because he hasn't been in bed any of these days, or nights for that matter. What–" 

A shuddering breath interrupted him. "He blames himself, Kihyun." 

"He–what?" 

"He–he blames himself for everything. Guilt is eating him up, and I–I don't know how to help–" 

Kihyun was about to demand to be taken to Minhyuk right away, but words died in his throat when he heard angry shouts from outside. He couldn't believe the silly blond would blame himself when he hadn't even been the one to drive at the time of the accident, not even distracted Kihyun to have caused it, but before telling him a piece of his mind, Kihyun needed to make sure his friend was alright. But going by the voices he heard outside, he wasn't. 

Minhyuk was seated behind the wheel of their Mustang, his forehead propped against it in defeat. The key was already in the ignition. All he needed to do was to start the car, and drive it into oblivion. 

It's been over one week since the accident, one terribly quiet week in which everyone felt the duo's absence from their usual activities, although Kihyun had outright refused to stay a day longer on bed lock. The only help he’d accepted was to locate the most basic places and objects, before memorizing them and refusing any further help. Hoseok and Changkyun had been crying themselves to sleep in a tight embrace on Hoseok's bed these past few nights, Hyunwoo and Jooheon had chosen to stargaze quietly in each other's company as a way to distract their thoughts from what they would do next, and Hyungwon's gaze had never left Minhyuk out of sight, time in which his heart broke every time the snowy haired boy would shed a tear. 

Minhyuk, on the other hand, couldn't find a way to live on with the guilt, knowing that he'd let that happen to Kihyun. The boy had been with him through thick and thin ever since they were toddlers, having formed an unbreakable bond over the years. All these years, Kihyun had been the one constant in his life, his anchor that had kept him grounded to reality whenever he lost a part of himself on the way. He couldn't imagine life without him, and knowing that he'd taken his sight from him was too hard on Minhyuk. 

"I'll just end it now," he muttered to himself under his breath. "End it and be done with it." 

The light breeze filtered through the open windows and brushed his hair to the side as he turned the key in the ignition, and the engine roared to life. He pushed the clutch and moved into the first gear when a flash of black hair had caught his attention. Hoseok was a few feet away and, going by the distressed look on his face, he knew what Minhyuk wanted to do. 

The two stared at each other, neither knowing how much time had passed, but both of their minds were running madly. Minhyuk wanted to bash his head against the steering wheel in defeat, at the stupidity that crossed his mind. Even the thought that he’d considered giving up an option made him disgusted with himself, meanwhile Hoseok’s eyes filled with tears, the boy too shocked to gather his thoughts to form a coherent sentence, or do anything to stop the younger, for that matter. He’d always had a difficulty speaking for himself, but the thought of losing Minhyuk had shaken him to his core, to the point he couldn’t act on it and stop him. 

It was only when he saw the tears rolling down Hoseok’s round cheeks that Minhyuk realized the gravity of his thoughts and near actions. He was at a loss for words, but walked out of the vehicle anyway, wanting to approach Hoseok and comfort him and take his mind off of worrisome thoughts, anything to make the tears go away, but when he saw Minhyuk approach him, he ran before he even realized it. He thought he’d at least prodded the boy to walk away from the car, earning him a few moments longer in which he could find someone that had the strength to help. He ran aimlessly, uncaring of all the twigs that scratched him on the way. 

"Jooheon," he breathed in relief upon seeing the boy walk towards him with a puzzled look on his face. "Jooheon!" 

"Hyung, what happened?" 

Hoseok was breathless when he reached the younger. He leaned against the closest tree to catch his breath as Jooheon pressed his hand on Hoseok's shoulder to steady him. 

"Minhyuk, he–he's going to do something stupid." Tears were soon welling up in his eyes, and his lisp was becoming more and more pronounced, to the point he was almost incorrigible. "I–I knew that K–Kihyunnie's b–blindness would be the hardest on–on him, but–" 

"Hyung, calm down. Where's Minhyuk?" 

By then, Hoseok had become a snotty mess that could barely utter a word, so instead he pointed his finger towards the direction from which he'd come. "He–I think he wants to-to drive off the–" 

Jooheon didn't waste a moment longer. He'd apologize later to Hoseok for leaving him behind in his current condition, but first he wanted to deal with a different elder. He had respected his privacy at first, but he’d had enough of the blond's pity parties. 

When the brunette figure had run off in the woods, Minhyuk dropped to the ground dejectedly, his hands digging in his hair. He was beyond frustrated at himself, how he’d ruined everything in a matter of moments. He didn’t deserve any of the boys’ worries, not when all he did was mess things up. 

"Minhyuk? What’s wrong?" 

The snowy haired boy looked up with tear streaks painted over his cheeks and bloodshot eyes. Hyunwoo’s eyebrows were set in a concerned frown as he made himself comfortable on the grass. 

"Is it–because of Kihyun?" 

Normally the quiet one, Minhyuk cursed his luck that the elder had chosen that moment to become talkative, but he couldn’t help but be grateful that it was Hyunwoo who had found him. Although too ashamed to voice his thoughts and worries, the elder was a person he could rely on, and Minhyuk was thankful he had him. He didn’t even try to conceal his sobs at the thought of the disappointment Hyunwoo would feel when he found what he had been about to do only minutes earlier. 

"If that’s what’s worrying you," Hyunwoo tried the words out tentatively, almost as if he’d never spoken aloud before. "Kihyun has been doing great actually, considering–well. He wants to see you–" 

"It’s not that, hyung." 

"What is it, then? You know you can tell me." 

Minhyuk only shook his head, roughly brushing his tears away with the back of his hand. 

Jooheon had run through the woods in the direction that Hoseok had pointed to him, only to come across their Mustang a minute later. The engine purred loudly, but the driver's seat was unoccupied. He found Minhyuk with his head bent down, face buried in his palm, the other hand gripping his hair so forcefully that he might have pulled some strands out, and Hyunwoo seated right next to him. 

"How dare you," Jooheon shouted as he approached Minhyuk threateningly. He pulled the boy to his feet by his shirt, but Minhyuk didn’t bother to oppose to anything the younger might be up to – he would gladly accept any sort of punishment for what he’d done. 

In a matter of seconds, Minhyuk was pinned against the car with no way of escaping even if he’d wanted to. His back hit the metal painfully, but Minhyuk only looked away, too embarrassed to face Jooheon. 

"How selfish can you be–" in his fury, Jooheon grabbed Minhyuk’s shirt in his clenched fists. "Did you already forget what you vowed? You’re not only taking your life, you’re bringing the whole clan down with you!" 

Doubt was growing in Minhyuk’s mind. He remembered his vow all too well – they were one, and they lived to protect one another – to protect the X–Clan. Tears prickled the corners of his eyes only at the thought that not only had he failed to protect his friend, he had broken his vow as well. He didn’t deserve them. 

"What’s going on?" 

In a flash, Hyunwoo had pulled Jooheon off of Minhyuk, whose fists had left creases in the blond’s shirt. Minhyuk could only shamefully look away when the younger had told Hyunwoo everything, so he didn’t see it coming when a fist connected with his jaw, the action swerving him off his feet and onto the ground. 

_Pathetic_ , he thought. His eyes closed, waiting for another blow, but it never came. 

"Don’t _ever_ think about doing anything stupid," Hyunwoo growled. "We’ve accepted it, Kihyun’s accepted it, so stop victimising yourself and start being useful." He turned to leave, but stopped in his tracks. " _Kihyun needs you_." 

He lost track of the time that passed after the pairs of boots shuffled away and left him curled in a ball next to their car, so many thoughts going through his head that it gave Minhyuk the mother of all headaches. His fingers absently ran through the grass as he leaned against the Mustang, the back of his head hitting the door, uncaring of the fact that he might worsen his injuries. 

Kihyun was nervous. He’d bothered Hyungwon to the point the younger had called him a brat, but he’d let it slide when he finally agreed to take him to Minhyuk. He was still hesitant to walk, even when the others let him lean onto them for support and guidance, but he had yet to get used to the feeling of stepping into unknown places, like stepping into void. 

"He’s still outside," Hyungwon told him when he saw the confused look on Kihyun’s face as he lead him through the screen door where the wind ruffled their hair gently. 

Minhyuk froze when he heard the grass scrunch under light, tentative steps. He looked up to find Kihyun holding onto Hyungwon as if he were his lifeline, whose eyes refused to meet his. He wondered if he was still upset over their last encounter, but he couldn’t blame him if he were. An apology was long overdue, but before he could utter a word, Hyungwon had helped Kihyun settle down right next to him, and the younger fled a moment later. 

He took a moment to look at Kihyun, having missed him these past few days in which he’d done everything to avoid him. He frowned when he found that Kihyun’s face looked gaunt, like the boy hadn’t been sleeping and eating well, making his sharp features more prominent, his jaw line so defined that it could cut glass. Otherwise, he didn’t appear injured, save from a scratch on the side of his head that he vaguely recalled to have bled massively at the time of the accident. But his eyes – the eyes that had always had a motherly glint in them whenever he was around the members of the clan – were now covered by a sheer material, obscuring them from view. If there was anything that Minhyuk needed, it was the reassuring look in Kihyun’s eyes, but now he wasn’t sure if he boy would ever see again, if his eyes would meet Minhyuk’s ever again. 

"You done staring?" 

"I–" Minhyuk parted his lips, but no words came out at first. "You look like you haven’t been eating." 

"Yeah. It’s hard to focus on anything when my friend is going out of his way to avoid me the second I go blind and have to beg the others to take me to him." 

"Kihyun, I’m–" 

" _Don’t_. Don’t you dare apologize–and what would you even apologize for? If anything, I should be the one apologizing for getting you into that accident. The things that could’ve happened–we’re both lucky we’re alive to tell the story." 

"Lucky?" Minhyuk croaked out, his voice breaking. "You–your eyes–" 

The boy broke down into heart shattering sobs. Kihyun rubbed his hand over his back in a comforting manner, bringing it up to rest on the back of Minhyuk’s neck where he let it rest as his head fell against Kihyun’s chest in defeat. Tears were rapidly soaking his shirt, but it was his last concern. Kihyun held him as the older cried in his embrace, and muttered meaningless words of comfort as Minhyuk gradually calmed down. 

Hyunwoo felt lost. Seeing everything fall to pieces around him was taking its toll on him, making him question his leading abilities when he wasn’t even able to keep them all united during times like these. The tips of his fingers drew patterns over the surface of the clear water, his clothes getting soaked as he lay in the shallow water at the edge of the lake, staring at the sky. 

He’d discussed with Hoseok so many times to let him take over the role, but the brunette had outright refused such responsibilities, insisting that his strong emotions would cloud his judgement in situations that needed him to have a clear mind. He’d also tried persuading Jooheon to take over, but the younger had shaken his head, avoiding explanations at all costs. "I’m just not the right person, hyung," he would always say. 

What about him, was he the right person? The thought had been haunting him for a long time – only remembering how he’d been chosen as a leader in the first place made him shudder. Being the oldest and most mature were not leading qualities – his age wouldn’t do them any good in critical situations, especially in times like these when everything was falling apart and things that happened were out of his reach. 

His train of thought was interrupted when he heard the sound of pebbles crunching under someone’s feet, and when he looked up, his eyes met Changkyun’s, such a puzzled look on his face that it looked comical. He approached the shoreline, but stopped before water could touch his boots. 

"Hyung, why are you–aren’t you cold down there?" 

Dread settled in the pit of Hyunwoo’s stomach at the sound of Changkyun’s deep voice. As doubt consumed him, the last thing he wanted was to appear even weaker in front of anyone, vulnerable even. He’d tried to play it off by splashing water over his face, before moving into a sitting position on the nearest rock. 

Hyunwoo smiled. "Don’t worry about me, Changkyunnie." 

Changkyun was having none of that. He didn’t look convinced in the least at the way Hyunwoo had quickly brushed it off. He was doubtful, and his lips parted, ready to disagree, when Hyunwoo cut him off in a desperate attempt of changing the subject to anything else but himself. 

"What’s on your mind? You look troubled." 

The youngest’s cheeks immediately flushed into a light pink. "I–well–" 

"Yeah?" 

"It’s Kihyun hyung–" he stumbled upon his words, absently kicking the pebbles under his feet from one side to the other. Hyunwoo couldn’t recall a time he’d ever seen Changkyun so flustered before. "I was wondering if you could–give me advice on–" 

Hyunwoo had to fight his lips from stretching into a smile as to not further disturb the younger. He wondered if Changkyun thought he was oblivious, but he’d noticed the way he looked at Kihyun, how his eyes shone at anything that Kihyun would voice, and he was glad. Changkyun needed someone motherly like Kihyun to protect and care for him; meanwhile Kihyun needed the refreshing youth that was represented by Changkyun. It was perfect. 

Changkyun eventually shook his head after torturing his lower lip, deep in thought. "I’ll figure it out myself. What’s up with you?" 

Hyunwoo looked away. So many times, he wished he’d been good with wordplays that would help him talk his way out of subjects that made him uncomfortable. It would’ve been convenient right then and there, but instead he had to sit and be scrutinized by Changkyun’s eyes that never missed anything. 

Changkyun moved closer and stepped into the lake with a sigh as the chilly water soaked his boots and made his steps heavier. "Hyung," he said with a sly grin, "you can’t fool me, you know that." 

Hyunwoo’s head fell forward in defeat when Changkyun seated himself next to him on the corner of the rock, the younger’s palm drawing relaxing patterns over his back. "I don’t want to burden you." 

"You’re never a burden, to any of us. Just because you’re our leader, you can–" 

The elder laughed bitterly at the offending word. " _Leader_. If I were a true leader, none of these things would’ve happened. Kihyun is broken, and I don’t know what to say to him. Minhyuk is a mess. I can feel Hyungwon drifting apart from us, because he wouldn’t be with us in the first place if it weren’t for Minhyukkie, and I–I punched him–" he shook his head. "The rest of you are suffering along the way – I’m no leader." 

"Hyung." 

"Mmm?" 

"Shut up." 

"It’s true, and you know–" 

" _No_ , it’s not." 

Changkyun tried to meet Hyunwoo’s gaze, but he wouldn’t budge, so instead he focused on his feet that he swung through the shallow water, so clear that he could distinguish the contour of every pebble on the bottom. Sighing dejectedly, Changkyun let his head drop on Hyunwoo’s shoulder. 

"You’re a good leader–the best leader. Don’t feel bad about the punch, Hoseok hyung told me what happened. I’m sure any of us would’ve done the same, even Minhyuk hyung, if he were in his right minds. And he’ll make up with Hyungwon hyung, too. Just give them time. Nothing is falling apart because of you–there’s nothing you could’ve stopped either." 

"And Kihyun? I don’t know how to help–" 

"Because you’re already helping. Didn’t you spend hours showing him every corner of the house when he woke up crying, frustrated that he couldn’t find anything?" 

"Yes, but–" 

"That’s all you can do at this point, all of us. Just help him get used to this new lifestyle." 

Silence followed, only the sound of a light splash distracting Hyunwoo when water hit him in the face when he least expected it. Changkyun could basically see the gears turning in Hyunwoo’s head, and he couldn’t take the elder process his words in silence anymore. Hyunwoo’s eyes finally looked up to meet his, crinkles forming in the corners as Changkyun realized his leader was smiling. 

"Are you sure you’re the youngest of us?"


	5. Beautiful - Shine Forever - Three

"How did you even–" 

Changkyun was at a loss for words upon seeing what Jooheon showed him. He’d always been clever, and not many things went past him, but he couldn’t find a logical explanation as to how the neon–like lights glowed when touched. It was as if the substance that Jooheon had filled them with reacted at the touch of life – fed on it, and dimmed when nothing brimming with life was around them. It was as if they were alive themselves. 

He then looked at the small bunch of bright blue flowers scattered on Jooheon’s workbench, and it felt like everything finally clicked into place. The older boy had spent so much time studying them when he thought the others didn’t pay attention, but Changkyun had noticed – all the side glances to make sure no one paid him any mind, all the nights he would sneak out and sprint into the woods, only to return in the wee hours of early mornings. 

"They–they’re no ordinary flowers, are they?" 

The only response he got from Jooheon was a breathy laugh, before the boy shoved a cardboard box filled with neon lights in his arms, and grabbed one for himself as well. 

"Follow me," Jooheon told him when he was already out the door of the hidden building – an abandoned warehouse he’d found deep within the woods – and walking into the woods, leaving Changkyun no choice but to do as told. "I’ll show you what I had in mind." 

The youngest had no idea where they were headed, but it seemed as though Jooheon knew the paths like the back of his hand as he maneuvered with ease through trees that looked exactly the same to Changkyun. Instead of doubting Jooheon, he chose to watch as the neon he had previously lit and dumped into the box with the rest was slowly losing its intensity, dying little by little with each step he took further into the woods. He watched in fascination as he poked it, and it became bright again at the lightest of touches. 

"Here we are." 

He hadn’t realized they’d reached a meadow. The grass was unkempt and reached up to their ankles, dandelions scattered randomly over the surface of the otherwise clear field. A thin layer of fog blurred out their view, completing the serene aura of the mystical place. 

Jooheon smiled as he observed the admiration in Changkyun’s eyes, glistening in joy when he realized the younger had caught on to his plan. He knew it had been a good choice to trust Changkyun with it. 

"What do you think?" 

Changkyun, often too mature for his age, grinned so bright that his real youth finally shone through his stoic façade. 

"I think," he placed the box gently on the ground, and walked towards the middle of the field, where he spun three hundred and sixty degrees to scope the whole area. "I think our oldest hyungs will be helpful in carrying so many boxes for us." 

Jooheon returned his grin. Changkyun’s reaction only confirmed that he had made a good choice, therefore fuelling up his hopes that together they could fulfil his plan. 

"What are they for?" Hoseok asked as soon as the two had returned home to find everyone seated silently in their cluttered living room. Since Kihyun was there, and Hyungwon and Minhyuk couldn’t have been more obvious in their game of avoiding each other’s gaze, it only took a glace to pass in between Changkyun and Jooheon to agree on settling for the oldest two, and let the others be. Everyone had been so distant in their thoughts that no one bothered to question the quartet’s disappearance. 

"Just trust us," Changkyun said, this time leading the way towards the meadow. 

"Can’t you just–" 

Hoseok’s voice died the moment something bright glowed in Hyunwoo’s box. He had taken one of the neon lights out to observe it, but never had it crossed his mind that it would light up at a mere touch. The eldest’s eyes widened, but he remained silent while Hoseok shot question after question, disbelieving of what they both had witnessed. 

Back at their house, Kihyun sighed, feeling tired of everything going on around him. He didn’t need his eyes to see the pitiful looks on everyone’s faces whenever they were reminded that he’d lost his sight, and he didn’t know how much longer he could take having Minhyuk and Hyungwon around, who avoided each other at all costs. 

The silence was deafening, until a hand patted his knee lightly, and the crunching sound of leather filled out the void as the person seated next to him stood up. Minhyuk muttered something about going out to get some fresh air only for him to hear and, leaving a whiff of his familiar scent behind, he was gone. Kihyun had yet to get used to keeping track of how many were around him and whom, so he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, thinking he was alone. 

"Hyung," he was startled out of his thoughts when Hyungwon shifted in his seat a couple of feet away. "How–how can I–" 

Kihyun’s eyebrows nearly met in a frown when he heard the younger’s voice crack, something he’d rarely ever heard before. Hyungwon had undergone too much in his short lifespan, and yet he’d never seen him lose hope for a better future, so it made him wonder what was of such high importance to the tall boy that it would get him in that state. 

Then it hit him. 

"Go after him before he wanders deep into the woods." 

In the deathly silence that followed, Kihyun wished he could see the stricken look on Hyungwon’s otherwise sleepy expressions. His chest moved with silent laughs at the mental picture of Hyungwon’s lips moving like a fish’s, opening and closing as he tried to gather his thoughts and form a coherent sentence. 

"How did you–" 

Kihyun smiled. "Minhyuk is like the twin I never had. Did you think I wouldn’t notice anything concerning him?" 

Though he knew Kihyun wouldn’t see it, Hyungwon could only nod in response. 

"So, run," Kihyun concluded. "Before you lose him out of sight." 

Hyungwon’s sigh was so pained and loud that it reverberated through the whole room. "What do I say, though?" 

"What do you feel when you look at him?" 

Hyungwon thought about all the times Minhyuk had been there for him, ever since the X–Clan had taken him under their wing at the blond’s request. He’d always nursed him back to health whenever Hyungwon returned to their hideout with fresh scrapes or wounds as a result of his father’s wrath, and always held him when he couldn’t sleep because of the nightmares that haunted him. 

"I–I want to protect him–the same way he’s always protected me. I want to take his pain away." 

"There’s your answer. Now go." 

Hyungwon was still adamant to leave Kihyun alone, knowing that he would likely start wandering around the house again on his mission to memorize every bit of it until he could be fully independent once again, but at the same time he didn’t want to upset the elder even further by pointing out that he could stay with him. Hesitantly, he stood up and thanked Kihyun, before he ran at the speed of a lightning bolt in search for Minhyuk, which finally left Kihyun alone. It was such a rare occurrence, as in the past few days he had barely found a moment or two to himself. He loved the others with all his being, but he wished they would let him stumble and fall and learn how to locate his surroundings, instead of constantly watching over him as if he were a moving porcelain doll. 

Inhaling deeply, he took tentative steps in the direction he supposed their small kitchen was, his toes suffering when he hit the corner of an armchair on the way. Relieved that no one was around to witness the comical scene, he guided himself by running his fingers over the smooth surface of the walls. 

Once he’d reached his destination, he breathed in the homey aroma imprinted on the walls from the many times he’d cooked in there, instantly relaxing at the familiarity of it. The tips of his fingers ghosted over the counters, and over the old appliances they used. He let his hands move upwards, and opened each cupboard with much care, feeling each pot and pan and memorizing their location, as well as where the spices laid. Next he opened the drawers, where various tools sat in disarray, and finally reached the one with cutlery. Softly, he brushed his fingers over the stack of spoons, moved next to the forks, and then it happened. 

He hissed in pain, and stuck his finger in his mouth, a reflex he’d acquired whenever he would accidentally cut himself while chopping. The pain was soon forgotten as he sucked on his index finger like a toddler, but tears prickled the corners of his eyes. He let himself fall to the cold tiles on the floor, uncaringly hitting the back of his head against the wall in frustration. On a whim, he pulled the thin material that was secured around his eyes with such force that he’d heard it yield under the pressure, allowing his tears to roll down his cheeks as sobs shook his entire body. 

Not too far from their home, Minhyuk had decided not to stray into the depths of the woods, after having had an internal battle with his other half that wanted him to disappear. The only thing keeping him there was his selfish half that cared too much for the boys to consider a life without them, and cared even more for the tallest boy, whom he’d upset and disappointed the most. 

So there he was, lying on his back on top of the Mustang, one hand tucked under his head, gazing at the darkening sky with a blank mind. He inhaled deeply, taking in the fresh air and enjoying the light breeze that brushed comfortingly through his snowy hair. He wished things were as simple as that moment just then, back when their relationship was strong and thought that nothing would break that bond, but he could see the resentment in everyone’s eyes at his near actions, and it made him want to pull his hair out. Worst thing was, Kihyun was the only one who hadn’t changed his behaviour around him – the one person who had every right to unleash his fury at him. 

"Am I–am I interrupting?" 

Minhyuk jerked upwards so fast that he’d lost his balance and nearly fell off the top of the car when Hyungwon’s soothing voice cut off his train of thought. His eyes searched Hyungwon’s, but the boy’s orbs were set intently on his shoes. 

Minhyuk wanted to shake his head in response, too afraid that his voice would crack if he tried to speak, but he had no other choice when Hyungwon refused to meet his eyes. 

"Did anything happen?" he asked instead. "Is Kihyun alright?" 

"Yeah, I–" 

Hyungwon shook his head, seemingly at war with himself. He’d felt so confident just a minute earlier when Kihyun had told him to follow Minhyuk, even had a speech prepared in his mind on the way there, but it had all been in vain the second he saw the blond, looking so defeated and lost. 

"I’m tired of this," Hyungwon said, absently pushing a stone with the tip of his shoe, before his eyes finally met Minhyuk’s. They looked so pained, glistening with unshed tears even, that it took everything within him not to go right then and there to hold the elder, and hug his pain away. 

He took Minhyuk’s silence as a sign to go on. 

"I’m tired of _us_ being like this. I wish–" 

"Me too," Minhyuk’s voice had been carried out by the wind, barely audible. "But I can’t change what I did–" 

"What _did_ you do?" 

"I–" 

"Stop it, please," Hyungwon cried out, roughly brushing the back of his hand against his eyes to wipe the moisture away. " _Shut up_. Kihyun’s never blamed you, none of us have ever blamed you–why would you blame yourself?" 

"I was there, and I–I did _nothing_ , and now Kihyun’s lost his sight." 

Silence set around the two boys, only Hyungwon’s sniffs and Minhyuk’s heart wrenching sobs echoing through the otherwise quiet evening. Hyungwon couldn’t take Minhyuk’s suffering any longer, so he’d pulled on the boy’s sleeves until he let himself be dragged off the car, and into Hyungwon’s warm embrace. The two held each other so tight, with such urgency that anyone seeing them might think that one of them was dying. And they were, on the inside, slowly perishing away with each moment spent apart from one another. 

Hyungwon lost track of how much time he had spent holding Minhyuk, until his ragged breaths evened out eventually, and held him longer until Jooheon’s voice rang through the night. 

"Guys, you need to come with us, right now. All of you." 

Confused looks were exchanged between them upon seeing Changkyun, Hoseok, and Hyunwoo trailing behind him, but the duo had gone through so much that they were mentally too exhausted to bother asking what was going on. As Changkyun ran inside the house to help Kihyun move about, Jooheon had briefed them on what they’d been occupied with the past few hours, Hyungwon’s and Minhyuk’s eyes widening to the point they almost popped out of their orbits. 

"What’s happening?" Kihyun’s distant voice asked, lines of worry imprinted on his face. 

"It’s been long since you’ve last gotten some fresh air," Changkyun reasoned. "It’ll do you good, hyung. Come on." 

"But at night? Shouldn’t it be dark by now?" 

"Mmm. The stars are shining brightly tonight. So bright that you’d think they’ll shine forever like that." 

If looks could murder, Changkyun would’ve been Kihyun’s victim, but luckily for him, Kihyun had tied the black strip of material back over his eyes hastily, upon hearing the younger call for him. 

"Don’t be a spoilsport," Changkyun lightly nudged Kihyun’s arm in an attempt at a light joke. "It’s a beautiful night, and we’ll all enjoy it." 

Kihyun still wasn’t convinced that the youngest wasn’t missing his sanity, but chose to humour him by allowing himself to be guided through the woods, the fresh smell of nature overcoming him – he’d missed it in the time he had refused to step outside, after the accident had happened. His eyes watered at the sound of the symphony of crickets, and the general sound of night and nature. The only thing missing was the actual image of it all, but he was content to imagine it and spend the time with the other six. 

He wanted to keep walking, but the arm that was twined with Changkyun’s had stopped him. 

"Are we stopping here? Where are we?" 

"A meadow," Jooheon said evenly, an odd tone to his voice. He sounded as though he was deep in thought, far away from the present. "The stars are shining the brightest here." 

Kihyun waited, his arm still linked with Changkyun’s. It got considerably quieter, and soft steps were audible, crunching grass under the soles of their boots. He could tell everyone save for Changkyun had moved farther from them, but all the odd happenings stopped him from questioning it. He inhaled and exhaled the air, enjoying the breeze hitting his face, as he assumed Changkyun was enjoying it as well, going by his silence. 

Until he’d let go only mere minutes later, and left Kihyun panicking. 

"What–what’s going on?" 

"Take off your bind," Jooheon called out, clearly from afar. 

"Would you tell me what’s happening?" 

Kihyun could feel his heart picking up a fast pace, thumping violently against his ribcage. He refused to admit it, but the complete darkness scared him out of his mind, and right then and there, having no one to hold onto in an unknown place was terrifying. 

"Hyung," Changkyun’s voice was somewhere closer, but still not close enough for him to calm down. His breaths had become heavy pants by then. "Just do what he said, trust us." 

_Trust them_. He would, if it weren’t for his current panic attack caused by being abandoned in foreign surroundings. 

"Please," Minhyuk pleaded, his raspy voice cracking. 

Kihyun’s fingers moved timidly to the back of his head, touching the sheer material that he had torn in places earlier. "It–it’s not like I’ll see anything–" 

_Except he did_. 

Before it even fell from his face, he could once again see light through his closed lids, all air supply being cut off as his mind went blank, and shivers ran down his spine. He thought he’d heard a distant voice urge him to open his eyes, but he didn’t need convincing – although frightened, he opened his eyes to be blinded by a bright light, before it all went back to black. Only this time it was a different darkness – it was the darkness of the night in which, as his eyes adjusted to it, he distinguished six figures beyond what looked like dozens of neon lights, some of them flickering and losing their intensity. 

_He could see again_. 

"Look around you," Changkyun said. "You’re shining." 


	6. Beautiful - All In - Oath

"We,   
do solemnly swear   
on our honour,   
lives, and everything that we have,   
to the X–Clan,   
that we will defend ourselves. 

We all know what we're doing.   
We pledge to protect each other.   
One. We will break the ice.   
One. We will fill out our empty hearts.   
One. We will go ahead on the right path.   
One. We will not desert one another.   
We become one, protecting the X–Clan."   



	7. Beautiful - All In - Lost - Four

As Hyungwon lay on a hard surface, all he could register were the bulky flakes of soot that landed softly on him, the wind freezing him to his core. Rain had soaked his battered clothes while he’d been unconscious to the point he couldn’t feel his limbs anymore; only a dull ache bothered him each time he inhaled and exhaled. His frail form trembled lightly, as if begging him to find any source of heat that would restart the circulation through his vessels. 

A loud horn sliced through the quiet night, signalling the strike of midnight or, for all he knew, it could have already been the next one. The same horn could be heard four times per day, always at the same hours; two would mark the middle of the night and day, and the other two would strike at six sharp – one to mark the beginning of another miserable day, and the other to mark the curfew. 

The last remaining thing that kept him going was the image of a white haired boy that occupied most of his thoughts, flashing before his closed lids. He could almost feel the warmth of the boy’s smile seeping in, giving him the strength to hold onto this last lifeline. 

" _Hyungwon_ ," the familiar rasp of his voice broke though the eerie silence. It was a voice that people would acquire after years and years of lung damage by smoking, but his has always been that way, and Hyungwon found it comforting. He could _feel_ him, right then and there, the tips of his fingers brushing lightly through Hyungwon’s drenched hair, pushing it away from his eyes. The touch felt hot against his bruising skin, and yet he welcomed it gladly. Oh, and how he loved it when the torn ends of his fingernails scratched lightly against his scalp, massaging the worries and pain away. 

It wasn’t such a bad way to go, he thought. The boy he’d give his all for was there with him, and the thought that it was a mere figment of his imagination didn’t bother him in the least. He would take anything over his own dark thoughts. But he couldn’t put his finger on what the raw, bitter taste on his lips was. And the shouts–why was someone shouting? 

" _Damn it_ , Hyungwon. C’mon, just take this," the same raspy voice pleaded. 

Something dripped onto his cheek, leaving a warm trail as it rolled down the side of his face. He couldn’t help but wonder what had caused things to take a one hundred and eighty degree turn – the image of the smiling, platinum haired boy was all he needed; not this foul taste he couldn’t push away, or the violent way his body was being shaken up. 

Tentatively, he cracked his eyes open to peer through his lashes. The image of the same boy his mind had concocted was still there, only the smile on his thin lips was gone, replaced by a crazed look, his warm eyes bloodshot, with darkened circles beneath. 

Only then reality hit him like a bucket of cold water in the face. 

Minhyuk was there. The boy who found a way to smile, even after all the hardships they had gone through. Even when the whole world seemed to have turned against them, he responded with kindness that no other could match. But instead of the usual upturn of his lips, they were now set in a straight line, his teeth sinking into his lower lip. 

"I–I would rather–do that." 

Stunned, Minhyuk was in too much of a daze to process what the nearly lifeless boy was muttering. "What?" 

"Your lip–I would rather–" 

He halted mid–speech, coughing out the bluish–purple petal that he had accidentally inhaled. Minhyuk felt like hitting him with all his strength for what he had made him go through, all the thoughts of not having Hyungwon by his side anymore, but instead closed his eyes and allowed the tears he’d been holding to fall freely, letting out a shaky breath in relief. 

"I’m sorry," Hyungwon said. 

"What for?" 

"Doing this to you. I–" 

The white haired boy was prepared to protest, but Hyungwon’s nearly lifeless fingers settled on his lips, effectively shutting him up. 

"Minhyuk, I–I just wanted to collect more flowers before we met with the others. I–I’ve been using too many and–" 

He stopped mid speech when excruciating pain shot through his spine. Minhyuk urged him to take another petal, to which he didn’t protest anymore. He scrunched his nose in distaste at the bitter aroma, but it was soon forgotten when Minhyuk’s hand settled on the side of his face, his thumb travelling up and down Hyungwon’s cold cheek. 

"Must you really force yourself to tell me now?" 

The look Hyungwon gave him was enough to make Minhyuk give up, knowing he was trying to fight a losing battle. He was aware that there was no chance of him having the strength to move Hyungwon from their current location, so instead he wrapped his arms securely around the brunette, and deemed him comfortable enough until the effect of the delphinium would kick in just enough to get him standing on his own feet. 

"I’m sorry, I–" he looked away. "One of my father’s men on patrol spotted me when I was close to the warehouse, and I couldn’t let anyone find it, so I ran in the opposite direction." 

He paused momentarily, hissing in pain at what felt like broken bones miraculously mending themselves. The amount of delphinium he’d already taken was almost crossing the limit they had tested, so the healing must have begun in a fast pace. 

"Then I heard more footsteps behind me, so the only option was to jump off the–" he looked up, assuming he’d been knocked unconscious below the bridge he’d recklessly jumped off of. "The last words I’d heard were, _there’s no way he survived that_ , so they stopped searching for me, probably because they didn’t recognize me. Had they known whom they were chasing–I’m sorry, Minhyuk. I–they almost found our place because of me. I didn’t mean to–I wasn’t followed, I made sure of it–" 

Minhyuk’s fingers moved below his eyes to brush something away, and only when he pulled them back did Hyungwon see his own tears glistening in the moonlight. He felt like shaking good sense back into Hyungwon, but the state he was in brought fresh tears to the snowy haired boy’s eyes. 

Hyungwon couldn’t help but stop and gaze into Minhyuk’s eyes, at his hair that would blend in so perfectly with snow. As much as he wanted to see him smile again, that smile that lit up the darkest of places, he stared in wonder at the boy who still stuck by his side, despite him being the chief’s son, exposing Minhyuk and their friends to more danger than the usual. 

"Stop it," Minhyuk said. 

"Stop what?" 

"I know what you’re thinking. Stop blaming yourself for every bad thing that–" 

Alarmed, they both averted their eyes to where a branch cracked somewhere not too far from where they were located. Rubble under a tattered pair of boots that came into view was all that could be heard through the night. Even though the petals he had inhaled still had a long way to his full recovery, Hyungwon pushed himself off the ground with all the strength he could muster, helped by Minhyuk. They were ready to flee, when a familiar voice shouted their names. 

"Yah!" 

To say that they were relieved to hear that it was Kihyun, and not one of the chief’s followers, would be an understatement. Hyungwon’s senior and Minhyuk’s junior, the boy might appear to be frail and delicate, but each of them had taken their turn in learning that he was a force to be reckoned with. 

In crutches, Kihyun was barely dragging the weight of his body, but the two were too befuddled to inquire about it. 

"Don’t just stand there," he said, small lines forming on the bridge of his nose as they did whenever he was in deep thought or annoyed. "Everyone else must be at the warehouse already." 

Relief washed over the two boys’ faces, Hyungwon momentarily losing his balance, only to be caught by Minhyuk’s slender but steady arms. He held him close all the way back to the warehouse where Kihyun was already headed, paying no mind to the two trailing behind. That was so typical of Kihyun – he secretly cared for the others’ welfare more than he cared for his own, but he’d be damned if he let it show. 

As predicted, the rest of their friends were already seated on the tattered couch and shabby stools. All but one – Jooheon, the boy with the deepest dimples, was sniffing something he had been brewing before their arrival in a cauldron that had seen better days. The unfamiliar aroma that wafted through the air had a hint of smoke in it combined with the bitterness of the plant, tickling their nostrils to the point it made them sneeze or scrunch their noses. Four pairs of curious eyes looked up at the influx of figures that came one by one, Kihyun dropping unceremoniously on the couch next to their youngest, who curled into his side without a second thought. Long forgotten, the crutches clunk as they slipped to the ground. 

Hyunwoo, the young man in his mid–twenties who was as large as a bear, scrutinized the couple that clung to one another as if they were each other’s lifeline – and they were. No one could ever tell what Hyunwoo felt because of his inability to express his feelings, the same stoic look permanently printed on his face, but they supposed he’d been sick with worry for the troublesome duo. Scary as he may look, in reality he was the most gentle of them all – he wouldn’t be caught dead hurting a fly. 

"What happened to you two?" 

Minhyuk looked down at his boots, not daring to meet Hyunwoo’s gaze – it was not his story to tell. He squeezed Hyungwon’s hand lightly into his, hoping it reassured the younger to open up. 

"I was spotted and followed by my father’s men on my way here. I’ll be more careful–" 

"I don’t care about them finding this place," Hyunwoo cut him off, heads behind him bobbing in approval. "What happened to you?" 

"I–" 

He shook his head. 

"I’m fine now. Minhyuk helped me. But," he turned to look at the sandy blond haired boy, who was raking his fingers through their youngest’s hair in a manner that was calming for them both. "Hyung, what happened to you?" 

Kihyun only shook his head in response, a blank look on his face, as Hyungwon’s eyes settled on his heavily bandaged foot and the abandoned crutches on the floor. The others remained silent, while Jooheon focused his gaze back on what he had been brewing. Hoseok looked away, a grim look clouding his soft features. They both did their best to avoid eye contact with Hyungwon, as if they knew what had happened and didn’t want to relive it. 

_Having read about the purple flower similar to the blue ones Jooheon was growing in the abandoned warehouse that they’d turned into their own safe haven, Kihyun wandered off to the outskirts of the village, dangerously close to the military base. The forest located there was where Jooheon had found the blue flower with magical properties in the first place, so he absolutely had to search the place for more species they could examine and grow back at the warehouse._

_While he had taken the role of the nagging mother of the group, the image of Changkyun, their youngest friend, flashed before his eyes. The boy was quiet and reserved most of the time, but Kihyun knew he would strangle him at the mere thought of getting so close to the military base. After initially rejecting Changkyun when he first joined their group of friends based on the boy’s family background, he awoke a protective instinct not only in Kihyun, but in all of them, to protect him at all costs, successfully and irrevocably worming his way into their hearts with his kindness, wit, and quirky jokes. They’d grown to be close to one another, so Kihyun knew that Changkyun would sit on him if he had to in order to keep him from doing something so reckless._

_What he identified as two pairs of heavy boots crushing rubble and twigs beneath their soles made him focus back on his surroundings, trying to locate where they were coming from. Being so lithe was a huge disadvantage if he had to face those men in combat, but it had its advantages, too. He lightly skipped in between the trees, threateningly deep into the unknown forest, when the unfortunate happened._

_Pain shot from his right ankle through his whole body with such a speed that he couldn’t contain the shriek similar to a banshee’s. He howled in agony, spasms taking over his body, causing him to forget all about the men that approached him at an alarming pace._

_Kihyun whimpered when he mustered up the courage to look down at his foot, biting into his lower lip so hard that he drew blood. To his horror, he found a bear trap secured tightly around his ankle, warm blood flowing freely. As he slowly began to come back to his senses, he knew it was too late to be quiet; all he had left to do was pray to die of blood loss before they found him. Sure enough, two bulky figures soon came into his line of sight, or lack thereof. Uncontrollable tears blurred out his vision, but he saw enough to distinguish the heavily armed men._

_"What do we have here?" Kihyun could practically hear the smirk in his voice._

_"Are you lost, pretty boy?" asked the other, crouching in front of him, purposely not acknowledging the bear trap around his bleeding ankle._

_"Cat got your tongue?"_

_The first man moved closer to the other, his beady eyes searching Kihyun’s face for any indication of who he might be._

_"Isn’t he one of those punks that cause trouble back in the village?"_

_The other huffed. "Chief’s warned us about you. Filled his son’s head with rubbish, too. Oh, how I’d beat the life out of that brat–"_

_Kihyun realized they were now talking about Hyungwon, but blocked out their voices. He helplessly looked away, when a particular blond mop of hair caught his attention. His eyes widened upon recognizing Hoseok hiding in a bush, barely holding a fuming Jooheon, who was not far from disclosing their location and getting all of them killed. Their eyes met for a brief moment, Kihyun pleading them to stay where they were._

In case I survive this _, he thought with a weak laugh to himself. Who was he trying to fool?_

_"You think this is worth laughing about?"_

_Before he could look up at the two men, agonizing pain shot through his side, feeling as though his ribs cracked at the intensity with which one of them had kicked him. Daringly meeting his attacker’s eyes, he saw that the other had stepped back, muttering some unintelligible words into a small device, followed by static._

_"We need to return to the headquarters. Let’s just leave him here. He’ll be lucky if he bleeds to death before the patrol dogs find him."_

_Those were the last words he recalled, before everything turned black._

Hyungwon’s slender fingers slid over Kihyun’s knee, not even noticing when the ridiculously tall boy kneeled beside his bandaged foot. "It’s okay, hyung. I don’t need to know, as long as you’re here." 

"Guys," Jooheon hollered from behind his cauldron, "I think it’s ready." 

In an instant, they all gathered around the steaming bowl, Hyungwon overcome by the effects of the blue petals Minhyuk had fed him, back to his usual strength. Kihyun was helped by Changkyun, who held out his crutches for him to hop on. 

"I’ll just say this again," he said, meeting Hoseok’s impatient gaze, already knowing what was going on through the elder’s mind, "you don’t have to do this. No one will judge you for your decision. We’ll still be one." 

"Jooheon, we know–" 

"Hyung, let me say this. The delphinium extract I brewed last night–the one right here–I tried it myself. It strengthens you, yes, but it comes at a price. I–It felt like I lost a part of myself. It basically acts like a powerful drug. You’ll feel like you’re in your own world. You might do things you wouldn’t normally do when your mind is not clouded by this. And long term effects, I don’t even know. We have to take care how much of this we take, or else I’m afraid we’ll lose who we are on the way, and that’s all we’ve got left. That is why I’m asking you again–are you sure?" 

What he found on his friends’ faces, however, was the last thing Jooheon had expected. The six of them were smiling at him, no lines of worry tracing any of their faces. 

"We’re sure," Minhyuk, the closest seated next to him, squeezed his shoulder softly, the others silently agreeing. 

Doubt slowly left Jooheon, still not comprehending how these boys trusted him so blindly. Even Kihyun, who knew– 

He shook his head, filling seven glass vials with a small amount of the thick, bright blue liquid that still bubbled in his cauldron, passing one to each of them. They all exchanged looks of relief of simply being in one another’s presence, before the youngest spoke first. 

"We all know what we’re doing," he said, downing the blue liquid in one gulp, before holding Hoseok’s hand into his. 

"We pledge to protect each other," Hoseok rasped out as he looked at the younger boy seated beside him, slipping his sweaty hand into Kihyun’s. The horrific event he’d witnessed the previous night flashed before his teary eyes, but Kihyun’s strong clasp reassured him that he’d made the right decision of waiting it out. 

"One," Kihyun said, grabbing onto Hyungwon’s hand, "we will break the ice." 

"One. We will fill out our empty hearts." Despite himself, Hyungwon smiled at the platinum haired boy he loved, his hand fitting ever so perfectly in Minhyuk’s. 

"One. We will go ahead on the right path," Minhyuk grabbed Jooheon’s hand as he added his pledge with a grin. 

"One," Jooheon breathed out, so many thoughts and worries of how the delphinium extract he had brewed would affect them becoming almost unbearable, but Hyunwoo’s strong hold on his hand soon became somewhat calming. "We will not desert one another." 

"We become one, protecting the X–Clan," the oldest of the seven said. He emptied the last vial of the blue liquid, sealing their circle when his hand met Changkyun’s. 

Their eyes all closed on their own accord, all of them overwhelmed by the fast effects of the delphinium extract. What a fascinating feeling it was, to feel one another’s heartbeats until the seven beat in perfect sync. They became one, their lips moving with a mind of their own as they spoke together. 

"We, do solemnly swear on our honour, lives, and everything that we have, to the X–Clan, that we will defend ourselves." 

When he woke up the next morning before the six o’clock horn rang through the deafening silence, Kihyun was flooded with hazy images from the previous night. 

_Having finished their oath, all still holding onto each other to form a circle, they stopped for a moment to listen to their synchronized heart beats. It gave them a sense of comfort and serenity even, but for all they knew, it could only be a figment of their imagination, concocted at the expense of the delphinium extract brewed by Jooheon._

_Kihyun had felt as though he was lighter than a cloud, and all colours appeared brighter than what he recalled, the delphinium flowers scattered around them basically glowing in the dark. It felt like a whole new world had just opened up to him. He saw a glass bowl moving back and forth, brimming with more delphinium extract, from which the others took turns in drinking carelessly, some of it dripping down their chins and all the way to their chests, but paint being smeared on his face interrupted his thoughts. When he averted his eyes towards the direction the paint had come from, he found himself facing a meek looking Changkyun, bright yellow paint covering the tips of his fingers and dripping on the floor._

_"What’s that?"_

_He shrugged lightly in response. "I saw the hyungs do it, so I thought I’d try it on you."_

_Even in his dazed state, Kihyun had wanted to shake his head in disbelief at the youngest’s antics, but instead found himself searching for more paint. He drew blue streaks across Changkyun’s cheeks, but it was all an excuse to feel the softness of his skin. The touch felt so pleasing that they’d both forgotten to apply paint, and instead focused on each other’s lips. He could see Changkyun’s gaze travelling past his chin and neck, and down to his chest where a fang shaped charm hung off a silver chain._

_As if with a mind of their own, Kihyun’s hands moved to dig his fingers in Changkyun’s short hair, while the younger boy’s hands caressed the sides of his face as their foreheads met in the lightest of touches._

_"Hyung," Changkyun’s voice had come out in a soft breath, the strong aroma of the extract wafting through the small space left in between their faces._

_"Yeah?"_

_"Come with me."_

_"Where do you want to go?"_

_Changkyun didn’t answer. Instead he stood up on wobbly legs, and helped Kihyun maneuver through the other boys while offering support to the elder, the crutches long forgotten. Due to his injury and inability to move by himself, Kihyun had no choice but to follow Changkyun, only to have his eyes pop out of their sockets upon meeting the scenery that awaited them._

_The familiar lake had become a perfect mirror of the sky, the moon and the stars glistening off its surface. Fireflies would have normally invaded the area, but the current time of the year dropped to temperatures too low for the small creatures._

_Kihyun had been so engrossed in his surroundings, everything having been amplified by the delphinium extract, that he only came back to his senses when Changkyun had stopped moving right at the edge of the lake. He looked at the younger inquiringly._

_"Take your shoes off," Changkyun had told him._

_"You don’t actually plan on–"_

_"It’ll feel alright."_

_It was so unlike Kihyun to listen to the boy’s desires, but he felt compelled to follow his requests as he found himself lifting one foot at a time, and drop each shoe unceremoniously to the pebbled ground. A small voice at the back of his head wondered how much he would regret his next actions, but he started clumsily unbuttoning his shirt, which followed suit to drop to the ground, as well as Changkyun’s, whose eyes seemed to stay glued to the charm resting on Kihyun’s chest._

_One small step at a time, the two advanced into the lake. Goose bumps broke all over their bodies the moment the tips of their toes reached the chilly water, but a sudden wave of warmth hit them when their hands found one another, and their fingers twined in a strong lock. They stopped advancing into the depths of the still lake when water reached their collarbones, but ever the brave one, Changkyun submerged his head for a second before resurfacing._

_Kihyun couldn’t help it when his hands moved to stroke the boy’s cheeks softly, where paint was running down in messed up streaks. Paired with the moonlight that illuminated only a part of his face, it gave him a surreal glow._

_"Beautiful," he hummed under his breath, his hands moving to cleanse his palms into the water, before returning to rub the running paint off of Changkyun’s cheeks. The younger boy soon mirrored Kihyun’s actions, revelling in the softness of his elder’s milky skin._

Kihyun smiled at the sight of the still unmoving boys as bits and pieces of the previous night’s happenings flashed before his eyes, closing his eyes and returning to his peaceful slumber.


	8. Beautiful - All In - Lost - Five

If anyone wanted to find the X–Clan, they just had to follow the loud, obnoxious sounds that would lead them right where the boys were located. 

_They might as well have hung a flag with a large X on it while they’re at it_ , Minhyuk thought, an indulgent smile tugging at the corners of his lips at the sight of Hoseok, Kihyun, and Changkyun using old pots and pans they’d found at the junkyard to make what they called music. Their only saviour was Kihyun, whose voice dripped honey. Minhyuk recognized what the boy sang as one of the songs he would hum whenever one of them couldn’t sleep – something his mother would sing to him as a child. 

"Yah! Are you _looking_ for trouble?" 

Hoseok, the most expressive of them all, shrugged indifferently without bothering to stop the disturbing clanks. "It’s not like there’s a law against loud music." 

"That’s because there are greater things going on to even think about making this noise." 

"Music," the youngest corrected him with a meek smile. "And exactly. We thought we’d lighten up the mood a tad. Come join us." He pointed one of the sticks he’d been drumming against the pots towards a pile of knick–knacks that would surely jingle all the way to the chief’s main quarters. 

"I’ll pass," Minhyuk puffed his cheeks in annoyance, watching as the breath he let out formed into a small cloud. "Where’s Hyunwoo, anyway? And Jooheon, and what about Hyungwon? He said he’ll meet us today, didn’t he?" 

"Patience is a virtue, my friend," said Changkyun, ever the smart mouth. 

The looks the three sent Minhyuk brought a crimson blush to his pale cheeks. It was no secret that the white haired boy had strong feelings for the tall beauty, who reciprocated his feelings. Having the whole world against their relationship only seemed to fuel them up, their love for one another running deeper with each passing day. And they worked perfectly – one lacked where the other’s strongest points lay, together becoming whole. 

In his peripheral vision, he could see the boys nudging each other, their low snickers barely registered by Minhyuk, who leaned back against a brick wall, his arms crossed and chin buried in his scarf. 

_"Do you ever wonder–"_

_"Wonder what?"_

_The dark haired boy shook his head, pushing his thoughts to the farthest corner of his mind. He resumed what he had previously been doing; he picked yet another immaculate daisy, and placed it in Minhyuk’s platinum hair, amused at how feminine it made him look._

_"I wonder when you’ll get tired of doing this," Minhyuk said._

_"But they match your hair."_

_"I’m sure they’d look better attached to the stems they grew on."_

_Minhyuk, who had been previously lying on his back, rolled over and propped himself on his elbows to get a better look at Hyungwon, a couple of daisies falling from his hair. He barely kept his fingers from brushing through the younger’s hair, dark as the night, swept to the side right above his eyebrows. He followed the line of his soft, round cheeks, and finally settled his gaze on Hyungwon’s plump lips. The boy was a sight for sore eyes, when he wasn’t covered in scrapes and bruises._

_"What’s bothering you?"_

_Hyungwon laughed dryly, his eyes avoiding Minhyuk’s. He pulled another daisy before he answered, absently ripping its petals, one at a time. "The list would be shorter if you asked what’s not bothering me."_

_Minhyuk pushed himself off the ground, and sat cross–legged in front of Hyungwon. He covered Hyungwon’s hands with his to stop him from destroying more flowers, effectively catching his attention._

_"No. There’s something off about you, right now. What’s going on?"_

_"I just–"_

_"Yeah?"_

_Hyungwon shook his head, once again breaking their eye contact, too afraid that Minhyuk could read him like an open book. "It’s not important."_

_Acting on a whim, Minhyuk leaned forward and pressed his lips against Hyungwon’s, revelling in their softness. He’d pondered for too long, wondering whether it had all been his imagination or not. Worry and doubt consumed him as the dark haired boy stood frozen, but their lips soon formed into smiles when he responded with the same warmth and care for Minhyuk._

"What’s on your mind?" 

Hyunwoo’s voice broke through the silence as the three of them walked back from the hospital. Hyungwon wanted to ignore the question, knowing their younger friend would tease upon hearing that he’d shared the same memory that Minhyuk had conjured. It happened often after having completed the delphinium ritual, which was why he preferred to avoid the topic, but he figured their eldest was mostly trying to take his mind off his own dark thoughts. He was always concerned about everyone’s welfare, but the news the healer had given him regarding his father’s health had shaken him badly. 

"Missing Minhyuk hyung, obviously," Jooheon chimed in cheekily, in an attempt of lighting up the mood. "Can’t keep those two apart for too long." 

"Yah!" Hyungwon smacked the younger’s shoulder in mock annoyance. "Is that a way to speak to your elders?" 

Jooheon only laughed in response, satisfied when even Hyunwoo cracked the smallest of smiles at their antics. He adjusted the newsboy cap on his head as he focused his gaze back on the sketchy vendors on the sides of the street they passed by. They tried to survive one more day at a time by selling all sorts of knick–knacks, from overly priced junk, to underappreciated pieces of jewellery and antiques, depending on the level of desperation of the seller. 

The boys stilled for a moment as soon as they heard some distant commotion, soon hurrying their paces to see what was happening. A shoe stand owned by two elderly men came into sight, four sturdy men clad in official uniforms surrounding them. Upon seeing one of them point his bat at one of the old men, Jooheon pushed through Hyunwoo and Hyungwon to approach the group. 

"I thought the chief paid you enough to afford brand new shoes." 

All eyes were suddenly on him – those of the elderly men, disbelieving that someone would step in for them, and those of the uniformed men, whose eyes narrowed to the point they became slits. 

"Stand back," one of the men tried to command, but to no avail. Jooheon had already pushed through two of them to somewhat cover the cowering elders, followed closely by Hyunwoo, who mockingly shaped his fingers into a gun pointed towards one of the uniform clad men. Worry for the younger won over rational thinking, so he could only pray that Hyungwon wouldn’t be as reckless and remain uninvolved. 

" _Stand back_ ," another commanded with more power to his voice, not wasting a second to point the barrel of his rifle to Jooheon’s forehead. "We don’t have time for kids." 

Having munched on a blue petal before their encounter with the authorities, Jooheon could already feel its effects kicking in. He might have thought twice about his actions if he weren’t under its effects, but instead he grabbed the barrel with no hesitation. "There’s no need for these, Sir," he said. "After all, kids like us don’t have guns to play around with. No harm done." Instead of pushing the barrel away however, he dared the burly man to pull the trigger with a petulant smirk. 

In the back, Hyungwon was smiling serenely at one of the men whose attention wasn’t focused on Jooheon and Hyunwoo, his eyes fixed on the lanky boy instead. Normally the quiet one who never got involved in any conflicts and kept to himself all the time, he’d been given a larger amount of delphinium extract to speed up his recovery the previous night. Images of what had happened after the ritual flashed before his eyes every now and then, goose bumps breaking out all over his skin as he remembered Minhyuk’s milky skin, warm and pressed against his own as the effect of the extract controlled them. 

"Here," he pulled the small branch brimming with radiant blue flowers from where it rested behind his ear, and pushed it into the man’s breast pocket. "Have some flowers," he said with a tranquil smile, gently patting the pocket. It earned him such a confused look from the man who unconsciously lowered his weapon. 

It wasn’t long before the lack of fear in the trio’s eyes nearly intimidated the men who mumbled something about getting back to their duties, hysteric cries and gratefulness pouring out of the two who owned the shoe vendor. It reminded Hyungwon of a similar situation that got him to join the X–Clan in the first place – he’d been the last to join for a long time, before Changkyun completed their circle. 

_The side of his face was throbbing, as well as his fast swelling eye. The other side was pushed into the cement, small pebbles cutting mercilessly through his sensitive skin, as his father’s boot crushed him as though he was a pest. And to him, he was–a worthless pest._

_With one last painful kick to his already hurting side, the chief stormed away and left his son in a complete mess on the ground. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed as he drifted off to sleep every once in a while, pain being too much to handle, though he thought he’d heard two of the haunting horns._

_He wasn’t quite fully conscious when a hand brushed his hair to the side with so much care that he had never felt before, as if he were a porcelain doll about to break at the softest of touches, only to settle on his forehead eventually. The comforting warmth of the hand was soon replaced by a damp cloth, which felt cool against his burning skin. It was only then that he realized he was no longer where his father had left him, but instead lying on something soft. He lifted his hand to brush over his cheeks, only to have someone move it away as soon as his fingertips met a sticky substance._

_"You’ll rub all the ointment off," a voice whispered somewhere nearby. It had a hint of a rasp in it, but somehow he found it comforting._

_Hyungwon struggled to open his eyes, but he was met with darkness at first. He saw a window through which a flicker of moonlight filtered in, and focused on it until his eyes adjusted to the darkness around him. He finally saw the contour of a ratty couch he was spread on, felt the frayed material through his fingers, and eventually noticed a dark figure kneeling right beside it, moonlight hitting his white hair that was a shocking contrast to the darkness surrounding them._

_"Had a rough day, didn’t you?" the snowy haired boy spoke in a low tone. He could barely notice his thin lips spreading into a sympathetic smile._

_A loud snore broke through the silence, Hyungwon’s eyes widening._ Where am I? _he wanted to ask, but the boy seemed more than eager to offer information without being questioned._

_"The others are sleeping. I stayed up to monitor your fever."_

_"O–" he cleared his throat and, in a flash, the boy was holding a glass of water to his lips to ease his sore throat. "Others?"_

_"Yeah! We’re the wanderers, or the X–Clan, as we like to call ourselves. I’m sure you’ve heard of us causing trouble for your father. You’re the chief’s son, aren’t you? I recognized you from the one time he dragged you with him to his public announcements."_

_"You–you know me, and yet you took me in?"_

_"Well, we couldn’t let you die on the side of the street, could we?"_

_Hyungwon couldn’t believe his ears. Of course he knew of the X–Clan and their reckless bravery to go against the military regime. Even more so, he admired them for following their own beliefs, unlike him, who had become his father’s puppet and punching bag over the years. But was there anything he could do? It would be brash of him to go against the head of authority, when he had so many followers under his command, who could do far more damage._

_"If–if you wanted money–I don’t think you captured the right person."_

_In response, the blond boy giggled softly as to not disturb the unknown number of sleeping figures._

_"Not our intention. But I_ will _keep you under my supervision until your fever runs off."_

_"Then why–"_

_To shut him up, the boy replaced the damp cloth on his forehead back with his warm hand. The feeling of fingers grazing through his hair was so unfamiliar to him, as well as the light scratch of torn fingernails against his scalp, and yet he found it so relaxing that his eyes closed on their own accord as he revelled in the comforting touch._

_"Not all acts of kindness are done for something in return."_

"There you are!" 

Hoseok’s loud holler brought Minhyuk back to reality. All it took was a second for the boy to run by him, leaving behind a cloud of dust. Minhyuk followed suit, leaving Kihyun to limp his way to them while balancing against Changkyun. 

He barely registered what Hyunwoo was telling Hoseok about the chief’s men that they encountered. Instead he focused on Hyungwon, who smiled meekly at him, his arms spread wide in a welcoming embrace. When he deemed the brunette unharmed, it was all it took for Minhyuk to jump into his arms, his head automatically tucking into the crook of Hyungwon’s neck, catching a glimpse of the cursive X he had permanently inked right behind his ear like the rest of them. 

"Missed you," he breathed out so quietly that only Hyungwon could hear, though both of them felt the amused looks everyone was throwing them. Minhyuk soon forgot about them when he felt plump lips grazing the shell of his ear, something that never failed to make him shiver. 

The two twined their fingers together, lightly swinging them back and forth as they all walked back to the spot where the loud trio continued drumming into pots and pans, joined by an eager Jooheon. 

Cuddled into Minhyuk’s warm side, Hyungwon was lost in his own world, until the sudden quietness made him look up right into his father’s beady eyes, a deep crease set in between his eyebrows. Hyunwoo and Minhyuk were already on their feet to form a shield in front of him, but he didn’t know how much longer he could go with them fighting his battles for him. He broke through the protective bubble the two of them had formed to greet the elder. A couple of armed men stood a few meters behind, surely at the chief’s command. 

"Father," he greeted levelly, bowing his head the slightest bit. 

His father, however, was a man who never beat around the bush; he was having none of that. "I’ve heard about the group of troublemakers at the briefing, causing a ruckus with my men earlier today. But when they’ve told me my own _son_ was there, I knew there had to be a mistake – I have no son." 

Words stopped hurting Hyungwon a long time ago, or so he tried to lie to himself. It was only when his father’s eyes settled not on his own eyes that were becoming glassier with each passing heart beat that drummed against his ribcage at an alarming speed, but on something at his side, when he realized he had spotted the fresh ink marred into the skin below his ear. 

"You," he pointed an accusing finger at the tall brunette. "You ungrateful brat." 

Hyungwon saw it coming all too late, when the bible hit the side of his face with all the strength the elder could muster. His relationship with Minhyuk was no secret, not to the other boys, nor to his father who had eyes and ears everywhere, but he couldn’t help but let out a half–hearted laugh when he thought that him officially joining the X–Clan was the final straw that broke the camel’s back. 

He was beyond grateful that Minhyuk knew better than to release his anger towards the chief, when his followers held rifles as though they were extensions of their arms just a few meters away. He revelled in the familiarity of the blond boy’s touch, but as soon as his father had left, he felt a strong urge to flee as well – the last thing he wanted was for the others to see him in his current broken state. He felt as though he had already failed them, only a day after joining. They were all bold and brave, while Hyungwon was the same weak boy constantly abused by his father, and a nuisance to everyone around him. 

Shouts and pleas still rang in his ears even after shutting the front door to the chief’s mansion behind him, where his fate awaited him in the form of his displeased father, who wore a disciplinary look on his stern face.


	9. Beautiful - All In - Lost - Six

Minhyuk couldn’t take it any longer. 

It’s been three days since any of them had last heard from Hyungwon, after he’d fled when the chief had hit him in front of them. He was still seething, and he had sworn he would avenge Hyungwon, but for the sake of everyone, he had stopped himself from doing anything reckless – not when the chief’s armed followers were there with the ability to hurt the only people that mattered to him. 

He’d wanted to run after Hyungwon, the broken look in the brunette’s eyes haunting him day and night, but when the others had told him to give Hyungwon some privacy first, he’d thought it was a good idea, for a day or two. But when the third day came, and they still hadn’t heard from him, Minhyuk’s heart dropped. He had a bad feeling, now cursing himself for leaving Hyungwon alone in his state of mind for so long, which was why he was risking his hide to trespass the chief’s grounds to see him. It wasn’t the first time, so past experiences had taught him that the best time to break into his mansion was in the middle of the day, when everyone least expected it, and most guards were out on patrol. 

His white hair didn’t help on that gloomy day, standing out like a blotch of light in the middle of darkness, but he’d pulled his hood up, and passed through the last remaining security. He knew it was risky, but he’d chosen to sneak through a back door and find Hyungwon’s room from the inside of the mansion, rather than climb his way straight to where he knew the room was located, due to the two men who strolled the gardens. 

In the farthest corner of his mind, he wondered if his worn sneakers left marks on the chief’s pristine marble staircase, but he was too concerned for Hyungwon to stop and look back. He had already memorised the floor and the number of doors he needed to pass to reach Hyungwon’s room, and when he saw the door cracked open, he pushed it lightly, and froze in his tracks upon the scene that awaited him. 

The room was a complete and utter mess, and not in the sense that clothes were splayed on the floor, or items in disarray. He looked back at the door to realize that it had been broken into, splinters of wood sticking out dangerously where the lock had been forced. The remaining of what had once been a wardrobe was now a pile of wood panels strewn over damaged clothes, and the bed was a mess as well, the mattress destroyed beyond any repair, and the pillow now a pile of feathers and ripped cloth. 

In a daze after seeing the surreal scene before his eyes, Minhyuk had failed to notice a pile of clothes across the room. It took a double take to figure out that it was the boy he had missed dearly, the one he had come to find. He was curled in a protective ball, leaning his back against the wall, his head buried in his knees, which were acting as a protective shield against the outer world. 

"Hyungwon?" 

Dread settled in the pit of his stomach when the boy didn’t show any indication that he was listening, and when Minhyuk prodded him to meet his gaze, he felt his heart drop. Hyungwon wore a white mask that covered his entire face, save for his eyes, which were puffy and bloodshot, as if he hadn’t slept in days. 

"Why–why are you wearing this?" 

Minhyuk let his fingers wander over the bottom of the mask, feeling a strong urge to pull it off Hyungwon’s face, even though what hid under it scared him, but the boy pushed Minhyuk forcefully away. 

" _Don’t_ ," Hyungwon said, a distant tone to his voice. 

"Hyungwon–what did he do to you?" 

He refused to reply. Instead, he wanted to bury his face back in between his knees, but Minhyuk had acted faster, grabbing Hyungwon’s face in his hands. The reddened orbs widened, but he was too weak to move, or even process what the blond was doing. He could only look away in shame and self disgust when Minhyuk had pulled his mask away, to reveal his bruised, scraped, and swollen face. 

Minhyuk wanted to scream. He wanted to break something, anything that hadn’t already been broken, and at the same time he wanted to hold Hyungwon, to soothe his pain and worries away, but he was too mortified to do either. He knew Hyungwon had experienced many things someone his age shouldn’t, but he’d never seen him more lost, like he’d lost his whole identity. 

"He’ll pay for this," Minhyuk vowed. 

He left on a whim, not realizing that Hyungwon needed him more than he needed to be avenged. He was at his most vulnerable state, and Minhyuk, the ray of sunshine in his dark life, was the only one that could help him overcome all the hardships he needed to endure. 

But he was gone, as was his will to live a moment longer. 

In the meantime, Hyunwoo was awaiting news from the impulsive blond, who’d demanded that he wait at home. He’d been worried when Minhyuk had been adamant to listen and instead had taken it upon himself to see Hyungwon, but the only reason he hadn’t stopped him was because he was also sick with worry, so he’d trusted Minhyuk to care for his own safety in the search for Hyungwon. 

"Hyung!" 

Hyunwoo looked up when he heard the hushed calling. It took him a moment to locate Jooheon’s serious gaze focused on him from behind a door cracked just a tad. The younger signalled him to follow him outside, away from the eyes of other members of the clan, and Hyunwoo didn’t object, nor question him. He followed Jooheon out of their home and a couple of blocks away, until they came to a stop on a narrow street, away from prying eyes. It was only then that Hyunwoo noticed Jooheon carrying a large bag. 

"What’s that?" 

Jooheon was silent, scrutinizing the older, as if wondering if he should be trusted with whatever was on his mind or not but, in the end, he glimpsed to the left and to the right to check again that no one was remotely close to them, and finally pulled the zipper of the bag open. 

Hyunwoo’s eyes widened. Inside laid a bunch of rifles that he’d only seen the chief’s guards carry, as well as a couple of handheld pistols and ammo. He looked back up to Jooheon’s levelled gaze, unable to read the boy’s mind. 

"The treatment for your father costs a fortune," Jooheon said, closely following Hyunwoo’s train of thought. "And he doesn’t have much time left, we all know that." 

Hyunwoo frowned, creases forming in between his eyebrows as he did so. He didn’t like what the younger was getting at, although at the sound of his father–he would do anything to save him. 

"Also," Jooheon added, rummaging through an interior pocket in the bag filled with weaponry. He pulled out a branch brimming with familiar blue flowers, and handed it to him. "Take this–all of it." 

"Are you insane–" 

"I’ve already taken the same amount before meeting you. It’s safe." 

"What do you mean–" 

"Do you want to save your father, or not?" 

Hyunwoo was at a loss for words as he tried to process what Jooheon was hinting at. His earlier discussion with the healer flashed before his eyes, the man’s words haunting him day and night – _there’s not much we can do_. He knew his father had seen better days, and younger for that matter, but he refused to give up on him – his permanent rock, advisor, and role model. 

"You want–today? Now?" 

Jooheon surprised him by smiling, his eyes becoming small crescents. "Why not now? There’s never going to be a right time for this. You in?" 

Reluctantly, Hyunwoo nodded once. With a rejected sigh, he took the branch of delphinium from Jooheon. He remembered the effect the flowers had had on him the last time he’d taken them in the form of an extract brewed by Jooheon, and he feared the effects these may have on him yet again. But most of all, he feared he was losing bits and pieces of whom he was with each petal he took, and in a world filled with misery and pain and no liberty of action, he needed his own identity. 

He touched the petals, revelling in their deceitful softness. He only dared meet Jooheon’s gaze one more time, before ripping petal after petal and chewing on the bitter rawness that irked his throat. It’s been decided – he was willing to risk it all for his father. 

"I’ve tested the same amount a few days prior," Jooheon quipped in, as if he’d just read everything that was on Hyunwoo’s mind like an open book. "If that’s what’s bothering you." 

The elder shook his head. "I’m worried about many things." 

When Jooheon’s hand settled over Hyunwoo’s shoulder, he jumped in surprise at the light touch, the flowers having an early effect on his reflexes. 

"We’ll be alright. That’s why I’m doing this with you." 

Hyunwoo shook his head. "Sometimes I get the feeling that you’re an old soul." At Jooheon’s silence, he took it as a sign to go on. "Like you’ve already experienced more than any of us could fathom–a few lifetimes even." 

The younger brushed it off with a nervous laugh. _If only he knew_. "The flowers are already getting to your head, hyung," he said, teasingly nudging Hyunwoo’s side with his elbow. "Let’s get going." 

It had all happened in a flash. 

Jooheon had offered a plain, white mask, but Hyunwoo had refused. Hence, the two didn’t try to conceal themselves, as the town was deserted, even in broad daylight. The patrollers were also absent, most likely being the time they switched shifts. 

At the bank, they had only encountered two employees, middle aged men that feared them at the sight of their rifles. They’d given them the money they’d asked for without a second thought, holding on to dear life and pleading for mercy. It was funny, Hyunwoo thought, how they didn’t want to die in that forsaken place. If he didn’t have anyone to live for, he’d have taken it as a challenge to fight attackers and welcome death. 

"You alright?" Jooheon gasped for air as they ran frantically, one holding the bag filled with bills, and the other carrying the weapons. 

"Mmm," Hyunwoo hummed in response, his eyes distant. "I should go straight to the hospital." 

"Yeah. You should." 

"Can you make it back home safely?" 

Jooheon grinned. "I’ve got this, hyung. Don’t worry about me now, worry about your father’s health." 

With a nod, Hyunwoo didn’t wait any longer, and instead switched his route and never looked back to check if Jooheon was safe, if no one had waited for them to part ways to attack him. He ran towards the hospital, beads of sweat soaking up his tattered shirt and rolling down his temples and neck, but he had no difficulty in catching his breath with each long stride he took, thanks to the empowering effect of the delphinium flowers he’d digested. 

Nurses watched him with eyes as large as saucers, as if he were a madman on a mission – and he was just that. He was a striking contrast to the serenity of the hospital. It was always peaceful and quiet, undisturbed by any security and such – only middle aged nurses padded softly across the halls, and occasionally the old healer, who moved with careful steps, and his large lenses dangling from the tip of his nose. None of them dared intercept him as he ran past them, his heavy boots clanking against the marble floors, leaving trails of dust over the clean surface. 

He knew the way to his father’s room all too well, having visited him for the past few weeks constantly, so he had no difficulty navigating through the identical white halls. He stopped in front of the door to steady his alarmed breathing and heart beat, before he knocked lightly. 

Nothing. 

Hyunwoo wondered if his father had finally taken his advice to rest during his stay at the hospital, because all members of the staff that cared for him had told Hyunwoo how lively he was. _For a dying man_ , were the words that no one added out loud, but everyone thought. 

He pushed the door, careful not to make any noise to disturb his father, but his heart stopped altogether when he found the room to be empty. The window was opened fully, the breeze pushing the curtains farther into the room, and it smelled of fresh linen, instead of his father’s familiar and comforting earthy scent. 

He walked inside with hesitant steps. Where his father had previously lain, now only laid a bunch of clothes, neatly folded on top of each other. The strong aroma of fabric softener tickled his sensitive nostrils as he ran a finger over the worn material of what had been his father’s favourite shirt. 

He was too late. 

Hyunwoo’s head dropped in defeat, as did the bag filled with money. It dropped with a loud thump next to his feet. He touched the pockets of his pants, where he’d found a lone, small twig of delphinium – the troublesome, _offending_ flowers, which were so beautiful and hideous at the same time, and represented both life and death – the flowers that had failed to save his father. 

After nearly crushing the fragile twig in his fist, Hyunwoo placed it on top of the stack of clothes, and turned to look at the abandoned bag on the floor. A strained laugh of despair escaped his lips at the sight of it – it was a reminder that he’d gone against everything he lived for. He strived for justice, having never cared about his social standing and things of no value to him, such as money. But when money was the only thing keeping him away from his father’s health, he’d gone all in and went against his principles; he’d even taken such a large amount of delphinium that he was sure he’d be delirious for days to come, after which he wouldn’t remember much. 

_Delphinium_. 

The large amount was dangerous, he knew. He trusted that Jooheon had previously tested it, though he couldn’t help but wonder how much more he could take before it became deadly, as the younger had warned them times and times again to be careful of how much of it they ingested. 

The small vial he carried in his pocket was calling him, urging him to use it. 

Hyunwoo turned once again to stare at the offending money. Without a second thought, he turned the bag upside down, and let the worthless pieces of paper drop over the pristine marble so lightly as if they were feathers, each flying in a direction of its own, before he set them on fire. He’d always known money had no value – not then when he’d been too late to bring it in to save his father. 

In the back of his head, he could hear fire alarms setting off and screeching into the distance, but he paid them no mind. He was going to carry out his mission to the end, so he thoughtlessly pulled the small vial out of his pocket and downed the blue liquid that brimmed inside the glass container to the last drop. 

He could feel himself falling into oblivion, a tentative smile spreading over his full lips at the thought of soon being reunited with his father. He'd been instructed to use the contents of the small vial only in the most critical moments as a last resort, but he vaguely wondered if that was such a moment, which required a last resort solution, though he never found the answer to his inquiry, as darkness engulfed him.


	10. Beautiful - All In - Guilty - Seven

_"You don’t have to be so soft."_

_The cotton pad stopped moving across his swollen cheekbone, until he looked up to meet Minhyuk’s scrutinizing eyes. He knew the blond was keeping his thoughts to himself, something so unusual that the deafening silence was killing him._

_Minhyuk refused to reply, earning a sigh from the younger. The pads soaked in alcohol stung over his fresh wounds despite Minhyuk’s touches, soft as a butterfly’s wings, but Hyungwon wished he were treated differently from a porcelain doll, which Minhyuk would argue that he was just that. Many would revel in the gentleness of Minhyuk’s touches, but Hyungwon could only feel himself grow more and more impatient, his hands fidgeting nervously._

_"You’ve been through enough," Minhyuk finally uttered under his breath, his eyes focusing back on a gash right below Hyungwon’s eye. The brunette hissed in pain at the lightest of touches, cursing under his breath for proving Minhyuk’s point._

_"I’m_ not _as weak as you make me be."_

_"And I never said you were," Minhyuk said, discarding one more cotton pad, and searching for ointment with a dejected sigh. It would’ve been so much easier on them both if Hyungwon had just accepted to eat a couple of delphinium petals, but he’d outright refused, so Minhyuk had no choice but to force him onto a chair and tend to his wounds before they got infected._

_"Would you stop, then?"_

_With such a force that he’d surprised not only Minhyuk, but himself as well, Hyungwon pushed the boy aside, adamant on not meeting his gaze. All of his bottled up frustrations felt like pouring out of him. There was a distant voice in the back of his head that reminded him he would regret hurting the one boy who wanted nothing more than to make him happy, but he couldn’t stop himself anymore._

_"Hyungwon–"_

_"No," Hyungwon said as he stood up, pushing the chair with such a speed that it fell back, the clank resonating across the otherwise quiet house. "I’m tired of you – all of you – treating me like a strong wind would snap me in half. Just stop it."_

Focusing back on the present, Minhyuk pulled a matchstick out of the box, and set it aflame with one swish. The flame flashed brightly in the darkening evening, and he watched it burn up the matchstick until the small flame nearly touched the skin of his fingertips. With a flick of his wrist, the flame vanished, and he pulled another matchstick out of the box, lighting up one at a time. 

The chief’s mansion was just a few feet away from where he stood, playing with fire. When he’d finally gotten to the last matchstick in the box, he set it aflame and held it in front of the mansion, as if the whole building was on fire – and he liked that image. 

He wanted to scream. 

Only remembering his conversation with Hyungwon merely hours earlier made him want to run back and hold onto the boy, and allow him to let out all of his frustrations on him, be it verbally or physically. He wanted to comfort Hyungwon, but if only he knew where the younger had run off to. 

"Minhyuk?" 

Changkyun’s normally deep voice was light and tentative, but it still scared the tall blond out of his reverie. He turned to meet not only Changkyun, but a silent Hoseok as well, worry etched in both pairs of eyes. 

"What are you doing here, hyung?" Changkyun asked timidly, almost as if he’d expected the elder to unleash his wrath on him. 

"I’m just– _nothing_." 

Minhyuk turned away from the two, but Changkyun was having none of that, while Hoseok had chosen only to observe. Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair, tugging harshly at the damaged strands. He was at war with himself, his strong desire to avenge the one person that meant the world to him clouding his judgement. He had always been one to see the bright side of things, but seeing Hyungwon in that state had made him want to make the chief suffer in the most painful of ways. 

"Minhyuk–" 

Hoseok spoke in a low tone, and placed his hand lightly on Minhyuk’s shoulder in what he thought to be a comforting manner. The younger shrugged it off, turning to look at him with a wild look in his glassy eyes. 

"I want to see him burn, alright? I want–I want to see the light in his eyes die, just as he killed Hyungwon’s." 

Upon seeing the crazed look in Minhyuk’s eyes, both Hoseok and Changkyun fell back a step, disbelieving of what the boy was confessing. They desperately wanted to soothe away his pain, but at the same time were afraid of Minhyuk’s fragile state of mind. Everything was falling apart in Hyunwoo’s absence, and as second oldest, Hoseok had considered it his duty to care for the others, to be their guardian angel, but his eyes watered at the thought that he was failing, and miserably so. Hyunwoo had always underappreciated his actions, but it was a job Hoseok couldn’t handle by himself – he’d always found it difficult to take initiative. 

"Minhyuk," Hoseok tried again, taking a hesitant step towards the boy. "He doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of turning you into a murderer." 

He could basically see the gears turning in Minhyuk’s head. It was all written in his eyes – worry and anger and doubt. He knew what the younger was feeling all too well, something he felt for all members of the clan in turn, and he had a fairly accurate image of what went on among Minhyuk’s thoughts. 

"It’s something that will haunt you for life–" Hoseok went on, hoping he was getting to him. "It’s not worth it. _He_ is not worth it." 

Minhyuk’s head fell in defeat, a stray tear escaping his protective walls he’d build around himself and ran down his cheek, leaving a salty trail behind. His fists clenched on their own accord – he knew Hoseok was right, but a fresh wave of fury overcame him once again. He was willing to trade his peace of mind for the chief’s suffering. 

"We’re not like other rebels," the youngest spoke up, interrupting Minhyuk’s thoughts with an almost incorrigible mumbling, but it was enough to get his attention. "We don’t kill. But–" 

Changkyun looked at Hoseok, wondering if he had caught on to what he was hinting at, and Hoseok was desperate. He knew Hyunwoo would be disappointed in him for agreeing with Changkyun’s plan. Kihyun would have his hide hung up on a wall if he knew. But he was in desperate need of easing Minhyuk’s internal fights, and prepared to sacrifice for the younger. 

"We–we can teach the officials a lesson." 

And so, the X–Clan was shattering to pieces, all of them straying apart and going against everything the clan strived for. The trio wasted no time in stealing tanks of gasoline, and spilling it around the grounds of the chief’s mansion in the middle of the night, easily concealing themselves when a patroller came in sight. All it took was to throw a lit matchstick, and the boys watched as the small flame followed the path of the gasoline till it reached the mansion, and it all went haywire from there. 

From around the corner, they watched the mansion as flames engulfed it whole, and panicked soldiers were filing out, one by one. Minhyuk’s nose scrunched in disgust when he witnessed two of them carrying a violently coughing man outside, who turned out to be the chief himself, his face barely visible in the dark, and covered in soot. 

The grandiose building was falling apart, until not even the X they’d spray painted was visible anymore, the only proof that marked it as their deed. 

But what the boys didn’t notice was a weakened, slender figure struggling to crawl out a back door. Hyungwon couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw trails of smoke filter into his room in the small crack under the door – he couldn’t believe someone had gone through all of his father’s defences, but the X he’d spotted on his way out needed no further explanation. 

He was torn between feeling angry and upset. He didn’t know if he should be thankful for their attempt of ending the source of his pain, or if the members of the clan responsible for that mess deserved to be punched in the face only for considering the thought of becoming murderers for a man that wasn’t worthy of their time of day. _Did he deserve all this mess?_

With faint steps, Hyungwon had dragged himself to safety, away from the burning mansion, and his fingers dug in his hair as he allowed tears to leave clean streaks across his dirty cheeks as they fell in rivulets. 

That was the last they’d heard from Hyungwon for a long time. It was all a bad memory in the farthest corner of Changkyun’s mind as his fingers moved deftly over the controls of the game he’d programmed himself to help time pass. His virtual character was in the search of a teddy bear – a symbol of strength and confidence, taking action and leadership, a strong source of support in times of difficulty. The bear spirit animal provided courage and a stable foundation for facing challenges, as well as healing abilities. 

Alone in his darkened workroom, Changkyun laughed to himself bitterly at the thought that he’d been ridiculous enough to hope to find Hyunwoo through his own video game, having focused on him as the target of defeating the computer. 

He missed Hyunwoo, more so than he would have liked to admit. 

He missed everyone, but they’d all disappeared or gone their own ways, bringing the X–Clan that he’d cherished the most to an end. 

Changkyun’s fingers stopped momentarily, idly hovering above the controls, as memories flashed before his eyes. Despite the situation, it brought a smile to his face, the day he’d met Hyunwoo, who’d become his protector ever since – his own source of courage and strength, and a sense of safety and comfort. 

_"Isn’t that Im’s kid?"_

_Changkyun automatically shied away the moment he’d heard his name being called out by the last people he’d wanted to see. Pretending not to hear, he buried his nose deeper into the book he’d been reading – something he’d smuggled from his father’s library, not that the man cared, not for the missing book, nor for anything regarding what his son was up to._

_His heartbeat increased considerably as his eyes were focused on the book, looking at the lines typed out there, but not seeing them as his sole attention was on the footsteps that rapidly closed the distance between him and the group of boys that constantly tormented him._

_He yelped in surprise when one of them snatched his book from his grip, and threw it on the ground, uncaring of the creasing pages. It was a pity – he wanted to cry out for the destroyed book, something he’d always treasured, but all sounds died in his throat before anything could escape his lips as fear overwhelmed him._

_"Yah! Don’t just ignore us!"_

_He was at a loss at what to do. He could continue to stare intently at his now empty lap and anger them further, or petulantly meet their gaze – and anger them further._

_When he looked up, he faintly recognized the boys from one of his classes, who were the sons of the chief’s most treasured followers, hence the royal act they displayed around everyone._

_"I don’t forget easily, you know," the closest to him, a boy of too large proportions for his age, snickered with narrowed eyes. At Changkyun’s confused look, he wasted not a moment longer to continue. "You think you can ridicule me in front of everyone?"_

_"Ridicule–you?"_

_Behind their leader, the other two boys nudged each other, mumbling amongst each other with incriminating looks in Changkyun’s direction._

_The boy with eyes narrowed into slits laughed. "Don’t play dumb, now. Playing the role of the teacher’s pet while making me look stupid in class? Think you’ll be in the chief’s favour if you’re smartest in class?"_

_Changkyun couldn’t believe his ears – the things they were saying. "I–the chief’s favour–what–"_

_"Shut it!" the boy closest to him shouted, and before he knew it, his knee was flying towards Changkyun’s nose, sending him flying back and hitting the back of his head against the tree he’d been leaning on._

_Instinctively, one of his hands went to cup his heavily bleeding nose, while the other rubbed the back of his head. He sent a prayer before bringing his hand back in front of him, luckily not covered in crimson as he’d thought. But the moment he’d let his guard down to check the gravity of his injuries, a boot went flying, and collided with his ribs._

_He cried out in pain, vaguely wondering if any of them had cracked under the pressure._

_"Get away from him!"_

_All four boys were stunned into silence when the authoritative voice broke through their scuffle. The three turned to look at the newcomer, while Changkyun had chosen to curl up in a protective ball, hiding his face in his knees as it scrunched up in pain. He’d blocked out all external sounds, closing his eyes and wistfully hoping they would all scatter away._

_And they did._

_He had no clue as to what the newcomer had told them, but when he focused back on his surroundings, he found them to be eerily quiet._

_Until a hand settled tentatively on his shoulder, causing him to yelp in surprise._

_He looked up to meet a pair of eyes darker than the night, but at the same time they seemed warm and comforting. The boy crouching before him was clearly older, his frame larger than any of the boys that were his age, with wide shoulders and an overall commanding figure._

_"Oh, you–your nose–"_

_Changkyun’s face fell back to hide in the confines of his knees that were pulled closely to his chest. He could only imagine what a sight he was with drying blood all over his face._

_"No," the older boy tugged at his arm. "Let me see."_

_He didn’t want to, but there was something about the boy’s voice that compelled him to listen – the strong, threatening voice, which had turned soft and caring when addressing him. Timidly, he faced the stranger once again, only to find him rummaging through a ratty backpack._

_Without a word, the boy soaked a handkerchief with the little water he had left in a bottle he had carried, and proceeded to rub the blood off of Changkyun’s face. The younger hissed in pain when the touch was not the softest one, but not with ill intent – it felt almost as though the gentle giant wasn’t aware of his own strength._

_"Sorry," he mumbled in the smallest of voices, thus confirming Changkyun’s suspicions, before he proceeded with gentler touches._

_Changkyun’s words died in his throat as he observed the boy who was too concentrated on his task to pay him any mind, but curiosity got the best of him._

_"Why–why are you helping me?"_

_The elder frowned. "Why wouldn’t I?"_

_"They could get you in trouble."_

_"So let them."_

_With that, the boy fell silent once again, and didn’t speak until he’d completed his task by handing Changkyun another handkerchief to keep the bleeding at bay as he’d told him he would take him to a healer._

_"I’m Hyunwoo, by the way."_


	11. Beautiful - All In - Guilty - Eight

Kihyun couldn’t sleep. 

It was mostly due to Minhyuk, whose bed was closest to his. The blonde tossed and turned, whether awake or during the few hours he became unconscious after going night after night with no rest, but he couldn’t blame him. With Hyungwon’s disappearance and no way of tracking him – the chief’s mansion was out of the question, as it was being restored, and security tripled - they had no way of knowing if Hyungwon was in there or had found a different place to hide. 

His insomnia was also caused by a constant throbbing in his injured foot, although it was healing nicely with the controlled dosages of delphinium extract that he took, all monitored closely by Jooheon. 

_Why does it hurt if it’s healing?_

It wasn’t quite a pain he couldn’t handle, but it was a bothersome feeling that lately made Kihyun wonder if he’d taken too much delphinium, and it was getting to his head. He felt as though the healing powers of the seemingly ordinary flower were _calling_ him. 

He laughed at the absurdity of it all. 

But then it struck him – it wasn’t ridiculous at all. 

The flower was indeed, _calling_ him. 

He’d lost count of the minutes or hours that had passed since he’d given up on sleep and instead stared at the ceiling, dimly illuminated by the moonlight which cast shadows on it, so he’d also missed when Minhyuk sneaked out of the clan’s shared house. Turning to look at the rest of the sleeping figures to make sure that they were indeed asleep, he found that Jooheon was missing as well, but it was something he had gotten used to lately. The boy had made it a habit of disappearing in the middle of the night to unknown places, likely in the search for more wonders or, as some would disagree, curses like the delphinium flower. 

When light snores and slow breaths confirmed that the rest of the boys were in a deep slumber, Kihyun dropped his feet to the floor, wincing when his injured foot throbbed again with an unpleasant feeling he couldn’t put his finger on. His crutches awaited by his bed, which he eyed as if they were his worst enemy – and they were. He hated the helplessness that came with them, as well as the protective instinct it awoke in everyone who saw him struggle with them. 

Nevertheless, he took hold of the offending crutches and leaned onto them and the little strength he had left in his uninjured foot to stand up and maneuver himself out of the house. 

As soon as his eyes had met the moon, the nearly perfect dot in the sky that was especially bright that night, he felt a strange pull that allured him into the woods. 

Kihyun sighed. 

What more did he have to lose if he wandered again on his own, deep into the woods? He looked down at his bandaged foot, which was a clear reminder of what had happened the last time, but it still wasn’t enough to keep his curiosity at bay, nor was he someone to shy away from danger. 

Clumsily, he moved towards the woods, and followed the path of light that the moon seemed to draw for him. It was as though it had a mind of its own and it wanted to guide him towards something specific. Goose bumps broke out over Kihyun’s arms at the thought of it, but he kept on moving forward to where the rays of moonlight were leading him. 

It was only when a stronger pain shot through his leg that he stopped limping through the woods, and leaned against the closest tree for support and to catch his breath. His hands settled over his throbbing leg, and he could almost feel the blood pulse through it. Its intensity was so overwhelming that he couldn’t even process his surroundings, but when he did, he felt his airways close up at the sight that awaited him. 

High, up in the sky, was something large, the size of a hot air balloon, illuminated in places by the moon, and half shadowed by it. 

It was magnificent. 

Shaped as a human heart, it moved in the air as if it were alive and he was a mere observer inside someone’s body. Though not connected to any arteries, the heart pulsed lively and brimmed with life, emitting a light similar to the colour of the plant that had brought him to that place. 

_He knew it_. 

Kihyun was caught in between fear and fascination, but he’d decided he felt a bit of both at the sight before his eyes. As though it weren’t enough, he distinguished the contour of a dark figure standing right below the floating heart, the head of the person tilted back and facing it. 

He was drawn to it, and to the person. He then understood that it was indeed the delphinium in him, the excessive amounts he’d ingested in order to speed up what would have been a long and painful recovery in his foot, which called him to that place where he belonged, to its origins, so Kihyun held tighter onto the crutches and moved forward, towards the person hidden in the shadows. As soon as he could distinguish facial features, even in his delphinium induced haze, he froze in his tracks. 

_Jooheon_. 

Looking ethereal and glowing under the moonlight, Jooheon stood below the heart, his intense gazed fixed on it as if he were communicating with it. Kihyun’s presence eventually caught his attention, and the pleading look his eyes had morphed into said it all. 

_Don’t tell anyone_. 

Kihyun was so lost that he couldn’t even tell if he’d read the words in Jooheon’s eyes, or if the younger had projected them in his head, but then he was starting to put all the pieces of the puzzle together. Jooheon’s constant disappearances at ungodly hours, his extensive knowledge of the mystical flower, communicating with the heart – he _was_ the heart, or the floating heart was a projection of his own, but what Kihyun was sure of was that Jooheon was the heart of delphinium. 

_It doesn’t make any sense_ , he thought, shaking his head with a frown at the odd thoughts making way through his head that didn’t even seem to be his own. Was the delphinium finally getting to his head? Was _Jooheon_ messing with him? 

"Hyung–" 

Kihyun was afraid to meet the boy’s eyes, but the tug of what he then knew was a strong bond through delphinium between them, much stronger than the one all the members of the X–Clan had established, forced him to avert his gaze. Jooheon’s eyes were wide and looked just as scared as he felt. 

"Am I even?" 

Jooheon frowned, confused at Kihyun’s inquiry. 

"Am I even older than you?" Kihyun clarified, and dread settled in the pit of his stomach upon seeing the look in Jooheon’s eyes change as the boy understood what he’d meant. 

Tentatively, he shook his head in response. 

Kihyun wanted to cry. He was suddenly flooded by different emotions – so many that he didn’t know which one to act on. He felt betrayed, he felt used, and he felt beyond upset that the boy who was so dear to him turned out to be something else entirely, possibly not even _human_. 

"You were using us–but for what?" 

"I–I wasn’t–" 

Crystalline droplets prickled his eyes, but Kihyun fought hard to keep them at bay, and not show how hurt he truly was. 

" _Don’t_ ," he said with a breathy laugh. "What other reason would you have to share delphinium with us, when it’s so precious and, for all I know, _a part of who you are_. Why else would you _bond_ us like that–our heartbeats– _you wouldn’t even tell us what happened to our leader!_ " 

He couldn’t keep his strong façade up any longer. Frustrated at his weakness, Kihyun closed his eyes tightly, allowing the tears to roll freely down his cheeks, and soon he was a panting and hiccoughing mess. His hands clenched into fists, wondering just how helpless he could get. The clan’s unity meant the world to him, and ever since Hyunwoo had gone missing, he felt as though everything was falling apart without him. 

He remembered Jooheon, on the day they’d last seen Hyunwoo. The two hadn’t shared what they’d planned to do, and Jooheon had acted odd when he’d returned alone, giving away only that Hyunwoo had gone to visit his father. _He knew_ –Jooheon knew something that he wasn’t sharing, instead only distracting them with words such as _he can watch out for himself_ or _I’m sure it’s nothing_ , but when days had passed, an uneasy feeling had settled in the pit of their stomach. 

"Everything I’ve done was to help you," Jooheon said evenly, his eyes never leaving the friend he felt he was losing. 

Through his uncontrollable sobs, Kihyun laughed. "For me? For _us_? Please, do enlighten me." 

"I–" To his credit, Jooheon looked as though he’d rather the earth crack beneath his feet and swallow him whole. "I can’t tell you–you must find out yourself." 

Kihyun laughed–but it was a maniacal laugh, a despaired laugh, as tears left damp streaks across his cheeks. It was all starting to flood in, all the memories that led to the destruction of the clan, the only people he treasured – _the destruction of his family_. 

"I’m–" 

He shook his head, finding it difficult to speak and not trusting himself to form coherent sentences. He turned and left, faintly hearing Jooheon’s voice pleading with him, asking him not to tell anyone that his suspicions from long ago had been confirmed – because Jooheon knew. He’d seen it in the way Kihyun had always eyed him differently – not in a hateful or distrustful way, just in the boy’s usual, curious manner. 

Kihyun scampered away, with no specific destination in mind, winning over his ailment in his craze to reach the others faster and tell them– 

_Tell them what?_

Angered by the discomfort caused by the crutches, he pushed the pieces of wood away, the clank resounding in the back of his head long forgotten as he moved forward with renewed strength towards their home. With Hyunwoo gone, not a word or a smoke signal from Hyungwon, Minhyuk gone in his search as well, it left Kihyun only two more members of the clan to entrust his findings with, one of which he would rather keep out of the mess they were becoming. 

Minhyuk was running too, but in a different direction. It had struck him, in the middle of his sleepless night, one more place he hadn’t yet searched, but what Hyungwon could have used as shelter. 

The warehouse where they hid the delphinium flowers–the origins of the X–Clan. 

He ran, uncaring of the concealed traps that he could fall prey to, uncaring of all the unfortunate events that had happened in the proximity of the warehouse. It was not long ago that Kihyun had had his foot stuck in a bear trap, nor when Hyungwon had fallen off the bridge he’d passed without a second thought, nearly falling into oblivion. 

The seemingly abandoned warehouse was eerily quiet when he’d stepped inside and, although he’d found the door locked, he was still set on searching every corner of that place for Hyungwon but, as it turned out, he didn’t have to search for long. After a brief gaze among the rows of bushes brimming with blue flowers, he’d heard the sound of a water droplet falling into a larger mass of water, the noise clear in the deathly silence. 

Minhyuk choked back a sob as soon as he’d stepped into the bathroom, before closing his eyes tightly as if the action would make the sight that awaited him disappear. When he opened them again, however, he found that it didn’t. 

He couldn’t even form tears upon witnessing the scene before his eyes, helplessly wishing it were all a bad dream, and praying to wake up before it became real. The only problem was that it was, indeed, real, no matter how long his eyes would disbelieve it – he didn’t have the power of making it disappear. 

Hyungwon was a beautiful person, regardless of the state he was in – beaten and broken, or healthy and smiling, the tall boy never failed to take Minhyuk’s breath away, even then, pale and lifeless, submerged under the frozen water in the bathtub out of which the blond had pulled him. 

Minhyuk didn’t know what to do, how to react. Desperately muttering words of comfort and pleading the boy to open his eyes for him, uncaring of the water splashing around and soaking his clothes, freezing him to his core, he brushed back the wet locks from Hyungwon’s forehead, but nothing he did earned a reaction from the younger. 

"Why would you–" Minhyuk was soon choking on his own tears, sobs shaking his entire body as he could no longer take watching the few people he cared for get hurt and be split apart. 

He had lost count of all the time he’d spent kneeling next to the bathtub filled to the brim with freezing water, cradling Hyungwon’s head and running his slender fingers through the brunette’s hair. He awaited complaints and moans of disapproval at the small action that Hyungwon would always protest against, but he was only met with a deafening silence. It then dawned upon him, that the way to meeting Hyungwon again laid in the pocket of his jacket, in the form of a small vial they all carried with them as a last resort solution. 

Minhyuk stared at the glass recipient that glowed in the darkening room, projecting blue streaks across the shadowed walls. It was a beautiful, yet morbid sight, but he didn’t waste a moment longer to contemplate it. Instead, he poured the contents of his vial of delphinium extract into the water until the last drop, before he moved deftly into the bathtub next to Hyungwon’s lifeless form. 

The circumstances reminded him of the sunny days he’d spent with Hyungwon by the lake close to their home, when the younger had endlessly teased him for not knowing how to swim. They were some of the very few moments he’d gotten a glimpse of the real Hyungwon, the carefree boy with a smirk on his soft features, with no lines of worry tracing his pale skin, which was why the teasing was endearing to him, awakening a protective instinct inside of him. The water in the bathtub, on the other hand, had already made him freeze out of his skin, but he’d soon dismissed the thought as his arms wove around Hyungwon, the familiarity of the touch warming him from the inside out as he submerged into the water mixed with delphinium, faintly glowing a lighter, diluted blue. 

With one last look at the brunette, Minhyuk twined his fingers with the inanimate ones and tucked his face into the boy’s unmoving chest, as his head went under the water and allowed it to fill his lungs without a fight, in the hope of meeting his most treasured friend soon. 

Minhyuk was long unconscious when the long, pale fingers squeezed his own.


	12. Beautiful - All In - Guilty - Nine

"He’s–" 

"Mmm." 

"And you’ve seen– _it_." 

"Mmm." 

Hoseok exhaled a huff of air that he’d held in, as if expecting Kihyun to laugh any time and tell him he’d been joking about the stories he’d told him – except he didn’t, and he was as serious as a heart attack. 

"So he’s–a deity? A demigod?" 

Kihyun shrugged, his shoulders falling helplessly as he thought about Hoseok’s curiosity. He wished he knew, as well. Every suspicion of his explained Jooheon’s behaviour perfectly, all up to the only unanswered question– _why_? His first instinct told him they’d been merely his lab rats, subjects to experiment the effects of delphinium on, but the boy had gone above and beyond to infiltrate himself in all of their lives, and went out of his way to _help_ everyone the best way he could. These theories didn’t click together – the image he’d pictured if they’d been, indeed, his lab rats, consisted of them caged in a basement, with no way of contacting the outer world. 

"If he wasn’t experimenting on us–" Kihyun thought out loud, "then why bother with us, specifically?" 

"For a greater purpose," Hoseok said eventually, before laughing at his own philosophical moment. For someone who rarely spoke up, he sure had a way with words. 

The two suddenly went silent when they heard the front door open and slam shut, most likely due to the incoming draft. With the last events, there was only one possible person who could be coming in. 

As predicted, Changkyun soon appeared in their small and cluttered living room where they sat, his cheeks flushed a healthy pink by the dropping temperatures outside. He opened his mouth to greet them but, soon catching on to what was going on, something entirely different escaped his lips. 

"You do realize I can tell you stopped talking the moment I came in, right?" 

Kihyun looked helplessly at Hoseok, and the older returned the same look, having previously decided it was better not to involve Changkyun in any of that mess. What hurt more, though, was that Changkyun had addressed Kihyun specifically – he expected Kihyun to have more faith in him, despite him being the youngest, the one who _needed to be protected_ , as they would always tell him. He was tired of it. 

Changkyun shook his head, already turning on his heels. "I’ll be in the bedroom." 

Kihyun and Hoseok exchanged one final look – a look that told Kihyun he had the freedom of deciding what was best to share with Changkyun. With that out of the way, he sprinted to the darkened bedroom, where he could distinguish the contour of a form on the farthest bed. As he walked closer, he found Changkyun to be curled in a foetus position, facing the wall, light sniffs filling out the otherwise silent room. 

With a sigh, Kihyun sat behind the boy. He’d been so quiet that the mattress readjusting to the new weight had taken Changkyun by surprise, making him nearly jump out of his skin. 

"You know I don’t want to hurt you." 

Silence. 

As his eyes were slowly getting used to the darkness, Kihyun could make out the younger’s hand moving to wipe his nose, and it broke his heart to know that he was the cause of Changkyun’s pain – and, to some extent, he understood what the boy felt. He knew the feeling of being treated like a child all too well, having experienced accidents that had left him– _lacking_. 

On their own accord, his fingers moved to weave through Changkyun’s soft hair, the corners of his mouth tugging his lips into a small smile when in return he got a moan of protest – Changkyun loved the caring touches, as much as he wanted to reject them. Eventually, the boy turned to face Kihyun, feeling a sense of safety due to the shadows that concealed his swollen eyes and flushed cheeks from Kihyun. 

"Can I ask you to just trust me and stay safe, only this once?" Kihyun finally broke the silence, resuming his strokes through Changkyun’s locks when he had fully readjusted his position to face Kihyun. The boy’s eyes fluttered shut as he revelled in the softness of Kihyun’s actions, but he shook his head in response to his question. 

"How much longer? You always tell me that." 

Kihyun was quiet for a bit, contemplating his answer, knowing that Changkyun was right – he wasn’t even going to deny it. "I–I’d rather you be angry with me and know that you’re safe." 

Something visibly shifted in Changkyun’s eyes. 

"You’d rather deal with my anger, knowing that I’ll get over it quickly–and you’re still having things your way," his voice concluded, coming out as a whisper, contrary to his words. "Am I right?" 

Despite himself, Kihyun smiled, moving his hand from Changkyun’s hair to trace the side of his face lightly, brushing a stray tear away from his damp cheek with the pad of his thumb. "Why must you see right through me?" 

Both of them had expected the conversation to turn into their first heated fight, but Changkyun surprised himself when he released a breathy laugh, instead of shouting and throwing insults here and there, and Kihyun expected just that. It was likely what made them work, their calm dynamics among one another, regardless of the circumstances. At first, Changkyun had avoided direct conflict with Kihyun only because the elder had intimidated him from the very beginning, when Kihyun had resented him for joining the X–Clan, as well as the others for easily accepting someone from a family closely connected to the chief, until he’d proven him wrong. From then on, he supposed it had become a second nature to him, to avoid all conflicts with Kihyun, while the elder had fallen in the opposite of his initial distrust in the youngest – and it worked well for them. 

"Because I’m observant–" Changkyun broke through his thoughts, a devilish grin spreading over his face, "–or because you’re not subtle enough?" 

Kihyun squeezed his shoulder. "Now, don’t get ahead of yourself." 

Changkyun laughed, and his hands searched for Kihyun’s free hand to hold into his. They fit ever so perfectly, warmth seeping from one hand to another as their fingers interlocked and held tightly – for what, neither knew. It could be for support, or as a way to say _don’t go_. 

"How much longer?" 

Kihyun’s eyes prickled with unshed tears upon hearing the younger’s question, which undoubtedly meant that he’d already accepted it and come to terms with Kihyun’s sudden departure. It almost made him wonder if he’d lived a few lives already, with the wisdom their youngest had always shown. 

"Last time," the elder said, and Changkyun believed him. 

It was a ritual of sorts for the two of them – he’d gotten used to Kihyun being overly protective of him and doing his best to keep him out of trouble and danger, but whenever he’d ask the same question, the elder avoided the answer each time. _Until it’s safe. I can’t answer that. Until this is all over_. He’d gotten many different answers, and yet none of them had been a firm response to his inquiry. Except then, although spoken in a hushed tone, Changkyun believed that it would truly be the last time Kihyun left him behind, while he ventured into unknown dangers – so Changkyun would wait. He wouldn’t go against his elder’s wishes, and wait for his return. 

"You taking Hoseok hyung with you?" 

"Mmm." 

Changkyun nodded, a barely visible movement in the dark. "Take care of each other, will you?" 

"I’m more worried about leaving you alone." 

Changkyun brushed it off with a petulant huff. "I’ll be safe in Dad’s house." 

In turn, Kihyun nodded as well. Changkyun would still be on his mind constantly, but he knew the younger was right – _when was he not_? With his father being the chief’s close follower, his house was among the ones with the highest security and, unlike the chief, Changkyun’s father wasn’t abusive – only ignorant, therefore easing Kihyun’s worries a tad. 

"Stay until I fall asleep?" 

Kihyun didn’t need to think twice before nodding in response. Although nervous, he’d taken it as an invitation to lie down next to Changkyun when the boy had moved closer to the wall, so he did just that. Just like their hands, their bodies fit well together, having similar proportions. They’d held each other to sleep many times before, but it still didn’t lessen their anxiety at the close proximity. Almost as though it were a well rehearsed play, Kihyun’s arms went around Changkyun’s waist, while the latter’s head tucked against the former’s chest, his soft breaths warming him as they fanned against his shirt. 

Sometime along the way, Kihyun had drifted off to sleep as well, until Hoseok’s soft and regretful voice shook him out of his peaceful slumber when it was time for the two of them to take off.


	13. Beautiful - Fighter - Oath

"We,  
we risk our everything.  
To protect the X–Clan,  
we vowed. 

But I,  
I deserted the X–Clan. 

I dreamt of a beautiful dream.  
At the end of that dream,  
let all of us meet again. 

We let go of each other.  
We,  
to find the X–Clan,  
walked lonely roads, constantly fought. 

And at the end of the fight,  
we meet again. 

We will give our all to protect the X–Clan,  
we swear."


	14. Beautiful - Fighter - Found - Ten

_Crack_. 

He cursed under his breath when the undeniable sound of bones cracking resonated through the cell, but he didn’t halt in his nearly maniacal punches against the wall. He knew he would damage his hands, but all the pent up frustration was taking its toll on him as he was getting a grip on the harsh reality. 

His own poor choices had brought him behind bars, which were the first things he saw every day when he opened his eyes, and the last before falling unconscious, so he couldn’t throw the blame on anyone but himself. Although it helped him release stress by tiring out his body and endlessly punching the stone wall until his knuckles bled and dripped onto the floor, the anger he felt towards himself was enough to overcome the physical pain he felt, so it was to no avail. 

At the back of his mind, Hyunwoo wondered how the others fared in his absence – whether he was missed, if at all. A part of him felt sorrowed for having left them due to his inability of controlling his selfish thoughts, but the other part, conquered by his insecurities, told him that they were better off without him. 

_"Hyung."_

_"Hmm?"_

_"Thank you."_

_Hyunwoo gave the boy a questioning look at the sudden gratefulness – for what, he did not know._

_"Thank you–" Changkyun cleared his throat as a mechanism to buy more time to form his jumbled up thoughts into coherent sentences. "–for being you."_

_The elder laughed. "You’re making no sense, Changkyunnie."_

_Looking away, Changkyun toyed with his hands as he felt his cheeks flush into a deep crimson. "Thank you for introducing me to the clan. And–thank you for telling Kihyun hyung off. I–I know it couldn’t have been easy, since he’s family."_

_"You’re family too," Hyunwoo had told him, moving awkwardly to rest his hand on the boy’s shoulder. He wished to comfort him, but he’d always been at a loss when it came to physical contact, or whatever it was that people needed for reassurance._

_Changkyun looked up at him with teary eyes. "You think he’ll ever accept me? I won’t stay if–"_

_"Mmm," Hyunwoo interrupted what was soon becoming a stuttered speech. "Give him time, and he’ll come around. I wouldn’t have brought you here if they didn’t accept you. Some–more than others."_

_Changkyun outright giggled at his friend’s way of phrasing his thoughts and, surprising the elder, he’d wrapped his arms around the wide shoulders before Hyunwoo had the chance to flee._

He was tired. 

He was tired of punching the wall, although his hands were already numb from all the times he’d hit the concrete, and he was tired on a mental level too. Giving up on releasing his frustrations onto the wall that didn’t budge under his strength, Hyunwoo slid back against the same wall until he dropped dejectedly to the floor, his head falling in defeat, and his battered hands dropping to his lap. 

He closed his eyes, but it wasn’t long until the unmistaken creak of the prison door echoed through the otherwise silent cell, and he distinguished a bright light from behind his closed lids. Curiously, he opened his eyes and averted them towards the door, his orbs widening as a bright violet light filtered into his dark cell. 

The same light was registered in the farthest corner of Minhyuk’s mind as well – the only corner only partly conscious and aware of his surroundings whenever the medicine both he and Hyungwon were administered wore off, but it never lasted long enough for either of them to process what was going on, as the light signalled the arrival of the nurse on duty with more medicine. 

Tranquilizers. _Anti–depressants_. 

He would have laughed at the absurdity of it all, if only he were conscious enough to do it, but the strong sedatives they’d both been given had erased all trace of personality and even life out of them, leaving them two empty shells – soulless bodies with conjoined hearts. 

_Oh, yes – their hearts_. 

Minhyuk vaguely remembered one picture he’d once gotten a glimpse of when he’d first woken up, and his brain hadn’t been as affected by the sedatives, a memory that he held onto for dear life, which was that of their heart monitor. Unlike other people, who were all connected to a heart monitor, theirs had been connected to the same one, and the small display was dotted with two perfectly identical, perfectly synced heart beats. 

Even in his dazed state, he felt himself smiling – or maybe he was only imagining it, but he felt a surge of happiness warm him to his core. No matter how much the medicine was affecting him, he needed to fight it and keep that one memory alive, to have a reason to live a day longer until he found a way to escape that place, and break Hyungwon out as well. 

It was probably high time they got a new dosage of tranquilizers, Minhyuk thought, as he slowly became aware of his surroundings. The first thing he’d registered was that his hands and feet were stone cold, and soon he found that it was because they were pressed against the chilly linoleum floor. He couldn’t even remember how he’d gotten out of his bed with the strait jacket secured tightly around his limbs, even more so to move about and settle right next to Hyungwon’s bed. 

With their hearts becoming one, he supposed their bodies couldn’t stay too far apart from one another either. 

Dizzily, his head lolled to the side. He could barely keep it up, but he soon gave up on that fight, as he didn’t even have the strength to crack an eye open to confirm his position in the room. He could feel it, though – the cold, metallic frame of the small bed, as well as the outline of the hard mattress, identical to his own from which he was missing. 

There was also the indescribable feeling of having Hyungwon close to him. The two of them worked like oppositely polarized magnets, permanently drawn to one another, and aware of the other one’s whereabouts, as well as feelings. 

They’ve become one. 

Hyungwon was in his own drug–induced haze and, having a weaker willpower than Minhyuk, he wasn’t as conscious as his elder. He was only aware of a head splitting ache, though he couldn’t tell if it was due to the medicine he couldn’t fight, or if it was caused by Minhyuk’s feelings rushing to him. The boy had always been so energetic that even under all the sedatives they’d been administered, he was still fighting and holding onto his last string of consciousness and sanity with clenched teeth. 

Meanwhile, Hyungwon felt as though he’d completely lost his identity. 

He’d lost touch with reality and who he was, choosing instead the easy way out by existing in a realm concocted by his clouded mind – he couldn’t even call it living, as he felt as though his soul was long gone, leaving behind a lifeless body. 

It was nice, though. 

It wasn’t such a bad way to go, he thought. He was so numb that he couldn’t feel anything. He couldn’t feel any of the physical pain his father had brought onto him – he couldn’t even remember what drowning felt like, nor the helpless feeling of having his lungs flooded with water and his air supply cut off. He couldn’t feel any of his mental scars either – not the constant humiliation that had overcome him at the thought of how useless he felt to the clan, nor the pain of all the hateful words that had ever been addressed to him, which eventually had taken their toll on him. 

His lips would’ve stretched into a light smile at the emptiness that he embraced wholeheartedly, if only he weren’t numbed by the medicine. It was only when an excruciating pain threatened to split his head open that his brow scrunched into a frown, and soon he’d completely lost touch with reality as a scene flashed before his closed lids. 

_Someone was singing._

_It sounded like a lullaby, though he couldn’t recognize it._

_Although the song sounded sweet, angelic even, the voice singing it had a hint of a rasp in it, in the low tones that it sang as if to not disturb his deep slumber. It was so unlike anything he’d ever imagined – he’d painted a picture for himself as to what a lullaby would sound like, and the voice that filled his ears was so unlike his preconceived ideas, yet so comforting that he didn’t want it to stop._

_Slender fingers raked through his hair unexpectedly. The touch was soft and sweet, like the lyrics of the lullaby about green lands, and about sailing on calm waters. The lyrics sang of blessings and banishing misfortunes, of kindness and love, and of angels to guide him and keep him from harm. It was all so comforting, but the foreign touch still surprised him to the point he visibly flinched, therefore blowing his cover and revealing to the singer that he wasn’t asleep._

_He moaned lightly in protest when the voice stopped, and the fingers were removed from his hair at the speed of light, as if they’d gotten burned upon touching him._

_"I’m sorry," the same voice uttered in an instant, an octave lower from the sweet singing voice. "I didn’t mean to wake you."_

_Hesitantly, Hyungwon opened his eyes and braced himself before meeting the gaze of the singer, but only darkness greeted him. Panicked, he searched for any source of light he could spot, and breathed in relief when he caught sight of the moonlight that struggled to filter into the darkened room through the blinds that obscured most of the window. He focused on it until his eyes adjusted to the darkness, and eventually he looked back at the source of the calming lullaby and distinguished a figure that was soon becoming familiar to him._

_Minhyuk – the peculiar boy with hair the colour of snow, like a blob of light in a world encased in darkness. Despite his raspy voice, the boy had soft, round features, which eased Hyungwon’s nervousness whenever he was in such a close proximity – and he always was. Hyungwon could swear the boy knew no bounds for personal space, but he surprised himself by the fact that it didn’t bother him._

_"You’ve a beautiful singing voice," Hyungwon said._

_The blond’s eyes widened to the point he looked comical, and only then did Hyungwon realize the reason behind it. The words_ "You’re speaking to me!" _were basically written on the boy’s face, but he had to admit he was impressed by the uncharacteristic composure when he’d soon trained his features to appear calm and nonchalant._

_"I–I didn’t want to disturb," Minhyuk stuttered out. "But you seemed like you were having a nightmare."_

_Hyungwon shied away, and it was all Minhyuk needed to confirm that the younger didn’t want to share further details. As much as curiosity, as well as an unexplainable urge of comforting him was nearly unbearable, he’d decided it was best to grant Hyungwon the privacy he desired._

_"What–what time is it?" Hyungwon asked tentatively, trying out each word as if it were the first time he spoke them aloud._

_Minhyuk flashed him such a bright smile that it was visible even through the darkness. "Time for you to go back to sleep," he said, his hand moving back to Hyungwon’s hair, to push the damp strands out of his eyes and away from his forehead._

_Hyungwon sighed in response. His first instinct had been to shrug Minhyuk’s hand away, as he was not accustomed to such acts of kindness for no reason at all, but against his better judgement, he’d allowed himself to revel in the light touches._

_"You have to rest," Minhyuk insisted in a mock–scolding tone._

_The brunette looked away. "I feel fine."_

_"I–just–" Minhyuk swallowed the knot forming in his throat, which kept him from forming a coherent thought. "I’m here, if you want to talk about it."_

_"Thank you," Hyungwon said, and left it at that. He was grateful, truly, but he also wasn’t one to share his personal thoughts, having been raised in a world where voicing his opinions got him–disciplined. From a young age, he’d learned to keep everything to himself in order to keep himself out of more trouble than what his father thought necessary._

_"Hyungwon?" Minhyuk’s low, raspy voice brought him out of his reverie._

_"Hmm?"_

_"Do you believe in soul mates?"_

_Hyungwon blinked in surprise. "I–I’m not sure."_

_Minhyuk sighed, dramatically flopping onto the bed next to Hyungwon’s lying figure, the mattress readjusting to the new weight. Only then did the brunette realize that Minhyuk had been previously kneeling next to his bed._

_"What–why are you asking?"_

_"I think I’ve found mine."_

_Hyungwon was growing more uncomfortable with each passing moment, but he was a tad curious about what the boy was getting at. He also found that he felt something strange in his ribcage, as if his heart was pulled apart by strings. What was that odd feeling?_

_Minhyuk had taken his silence as a green light to go on. "It’s–you know that pull–? Unexplainable, really. You just feel drawn to a person, and you don’t even need to know anything about them–you know?"_

_"I can’t really–" Hyungwon could feel himself retracting into his protective shell, but at the same time, he couldn’t stop Minhyuk from his daydreaming. There was something about the glint in the blond’s eyes that warmed his insides, and he’d hate himself if he were the one to put an end to it. "I haven’t experienced it," he concluded eventually._

_Minhyuk froze, as if only then did he understand the riddles that had been haunting him for days. It was so uncharacteristic for the boy that even Hyungwon, who’d only known him for the past few days, could tell._

_"Did I–say something wrong?"_

_Distractedly, Minhyuk shook his head._

_"Minhyuk."_

_"Mmm."_

_"Would you look at me?"_

_Timidly, the elder did as he’d been told, his eyes widening considerably when Hyungwon’s slender fingers slid over his. The boy’s hand was clammy and shaking like a leaf, but he paid it no mind._

_"I’m not sure what soul mates mean by definition," he said, his voice dropping to barely a whisper, "but if feeling things that are–odd, for someone you know close to nothing about, as well as a stab to your heart knowing that this person is in love with someone that’s not you–then, I suppose, I know what a soul mate is."_

_Minhyuk’s lips formed a perfect O, parting and closing over and over again. It almost made Hyungwon laugh, if it weren’t for the situation he’d gotten himself into, as the blond resembled a fish on a dry shore._

_"You–what–who are you talking about?"_

_Hyungwon’s hand squeezed Minhyuk’s. "Isn’t it obvious?"_

_"Define odd."_

_The younger frowned at Minhyuk’s sudden and unexpected demand. Was that all he’d registered from everything that he’d told him and hinted at?_

_Hyungwon chose to shake his head. "Forget it."_

_He pushed Minhyuk’s hand away, which was still moving soothingly through his hair. He was about to turn away from the boy, to face the other side of the room, but Minhyuk had caught him by the shoulder and lightly kept him from moving any further._

_"I mean–if by odd, you meant this same unexplainable tug that I’ve told you about–and if, say, it were towards me, I’d–I’d say I felt the same way."_

_Hyungwon felt exhilarated. All his life he’d been taught to keep things to himself unless he was ready to face the consequences, and when he was finally opening up about his deepest feelings, he felt the world crashing and burning around him – he had yet to decide if it was a good or a bad thing._

_"And if I didn’t?"_

_Minhyuk’s hand had found his face in the dark once again, this time moving his thumb over the soft curve of Hyungwon’s cheek._

_"I would still feel the same."_

Hyungwon’s eyes opened. 

Frantic, he looked around to take in his surroundings as fast as he could in his heavy daze, until his eyes landed on a mop of hair that was no longer the white he had come to adore. _Just how long had they been stuck in that place? What_ was _that place?_

He opened his mouth to speak, but his throat was too dry to form words, so he did the next best thing – he moved his hand, bit by bit, until he could finally run his fingers through the soft strands. From the corner of his eye, he could see the boy’s shoulders shake with light laugher. 

"About time you–woke up." 

Then it hit him. 

Minhyuk, the one and only light in his dark existence, had used the little strength he had to project memories in his mind through their unbreakable bond, to urge him to come back to consciousness. 

Their gazes met in a smile they shared, before the door to their room opened, and they were blinded by a violet light. 

_I’ll find you again. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, thank you so much for all the support! Every read, comment, and all the kudos mean the world to me, so thank you!  
> Also, while I wrote Minhyuk and Hyungwon's memory, I couldn't stop thinking about Secret Garden's Sleepsong, if any of you were curious what Minhyuk sang ^^


	15. Beautiful - Fighter - Found - Eleven

The clanks of the hammer being struck against the anvil resonated through the garage, and the sound echoed off the walls in the otherwise silent room. Only white noise was filling the room – a flame burned angrily in the fireplace, and the distant ticks of a clock gave the place a haunted aura. 

Hoseok ran the back of his hand over his sweaty forehead, uncaring of the tangled locks that were glued to his skin, before taking hold of the hammer once again, and hitting it over the scrap metal, carefully positioned above the anvil, to form it into the shape of an X. He was growing tired as days passed with little to no sleep at all, but at the same time, he couldn’t just stand still unless he literally dropped from exhaustion. Therefore, instead of working on the incomplete blueprints, he’d decided to use his time to work on the outer appearance of his colossal device. Although they’d been apart for longer than he’d kept count, he still considered himself a part of the X–Clan, and wanted to mark the machine that was going to bring them all back together with their signature X. 

Satisfied with his handiwork, he positioned the piece of modelled metal over the large engine of his machine, and soldered it with ease, before pulling the sheer nylon cover over the whole device. Sighing, he grabbed a glass of water that he’d downed thirstily in one gulp, before hastily scrubbing his dirtied face with a towel that he’d dismissed around his neck. 

He fell heavily onto a chair that had seen better days, his shoulders slumped in defeat, and took a good look at the covered monstrosity that he’d been working on for months. He could feel that he was getting closer to finishing it with each exhausting, passing day, but at the same time, he was nowhere near being done. It was only the hardware that he could work on, but to bring life into that machine, he needed so much more. It was, after all, just a large piece of scrap metal. 

He missed Changkyun. The bright boy would have come up with so many improvements to it that Hoseok was likely overseeing, and he knew Changkyun would be the right person to trust to write the code that, along with the magical properties of the delphinium extract, would finally bring his creation to life. 

_It’s not the right moment_. 

It had been a tough decision when he’d had to agree that leaving Changkyun behind would be the best idea, knowing that their youngest member of the clan was safest in his father’s house – looked after, and otherwise ignored. He could only imagine how tough it had been on the boy, to spend all these months in complete solace, but Hoseok was content knowing that he had a roof above his head each night, as well as food for each meal. It was different from the lifestyle they had all adopted as part of the clan – living one day at a time, never knowing where they might spend the following night, or if they had enough food for everyone’s desire and appetite – but it was safe. _He_ was safe, and Changkyun’s safety meant that Hoseok’s mind was eased, and he could fully focus on completing his task. 

_He looked at the clock hanging off the wall, its hands pointing too close to dusk for his liking. Kihyun had been inside the bedroom with Changkyun for too long, their hushed voices having turned into complete silence as hours went by. Hoseok supposed they had fallen asleep, as their house was quiet, only the sounds of the night audible through the darkness._

_Sighing, he walked towards the bedroom and pushed the door with much care, as to avoid the slight creak. As expected, the two were curled on Changkyun’s bed, the farthest from where Hoseok stood, and he found himself smiling at the sight that greeted him. Changkyun slept in a foetus position, facing the wall, while Kihyun’s arms enveloped the younger protectively, his nose buried in the crook of Changkyun’s neck._

_Giggling to himself, he shook his head at the two’s antics, wondering whether they’d ever accept their love for one another as a fact, instead of choosing to lie to the members of the clan, as well as to themselves. It pained Hoseok to walk farther into the room, but he and Kihyun needed to get going before the sun rose, unless they wanted to encounter trouble on their way._

_"Hyung," a whisper barely there sounded through the room, though perfectly clear through the silence._

_"Changkyun–you’re awake?"_

_As Hoseok approached the bed the two were lying on, he watched Changkyun move about in Kihyun’s embrace with great care, to avoid disturbing his peaceful slumber, until his face was only inches apart from Kihyun’s chest. One of the youngest’s hands settled on Kihyun’s chest where his heart was, before he’d moved it up to brush a stray lock out of the boy’s eyes._

_"Of course I’m awake," Changkyun breathed, his eyes tracing the contour of Kihyun’s face, as if he tried to memorize each line and curve. "I–I couldn’t sleep knowing that these are our last moments together."_

_"It’s not–"_

_"I know," Changkyun cut him off with a sad smile on his face. "But can you tell how long the two of you will be gone?"_

_Hoseok was at a loss for words. He felt stupid as he’d repeatedly opened and closed his mouth to answer the boy, soon realizing that he couldn’t argue with his logic – he didn’t have an answer._

_"I’ll take care of him," he answered instead._

_"That’s all I’m asking for," Changkyun said. He met Hoseok’s eyes in a brief second, his own glassy with unshed tears, before he focused his gaze back on the sleeping boy whose arms held him tightly._

_Hoseok felt like crying at the scene unfolding before his eyes. He had almost had himself convinced that he would manage without Kihyun – that he could leave the two together and go on his quest alone – but he needed Kihyun. It hurt him immensely to tear the two apart, even more so when he saw the love swirling in Changkyun’s eyes in the little moonlight that filtered into the bedroom as he ran his fingers through Kihyun’s hair, only to let them trace the boy’s jaw line and the curve of his neck in the lightest of touches._

_"You’ll return for me when the time is right, yeah?" Changkyun asked eventually._

_"You’re the last piece of our puzzle, Changkyunnie. The piece that holds us all together. Of course we’ll come for you."_

_Seemingly pleased with the elder’s answer, Changkyun nodded understandingly, before he let his hand drop back against Kihyun’s chest, which rose and fell lightly with each deep breath he took._

_"You can wake him up now," he said, closing his eyes and snuggling closer into Kihyun’s warm frame._

_"You sure you don’t want to say goodbye?"_

_"Mmm," the boy hummed, his hushed voice muffled as he buried his face in the soft material of Kihyun’s shirt. "Already did. I just–I wanted to be awake–"_

_Hoseok’s heart broke with each word spoken by the younger. "You don’t need to explain yourself. I know."_

_Changkyun nodded gratefully. "Thank you, hyung."_

Hoseok shook his head, as if to shake away the memories that haunted him day and night. _It was the right decision_ , he kept telling himself as he tried to convince himself that they could have found a way around it all, but he knew that Kihyun would have never risked putting Changkyun in danger, as much as it hurt them both to leave the boy behind. 

Filling another glass of water and downing it quickly, Hoseok rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he set back to work. He walked away from the machine and stopped in front of his workbench, where a dozen of rolled papers sat. He unfolded the one he’d worked on last, and scanned its contents to remind himself where he’d left off with the blueprints. 

"Ah, yes," he said softly, grabbing his sketching pencil and a large ruler. He had all the pieces – all he needed to do was find a way to put them all together, in order for them to work as desired. 

Hours passed as Hoseok drew improvements on the blueprints that were dirtied by the back of his hand as he’d been too engrossed in his work that he’d paid no mind to the smudged lines traced by the pencil, before he’d heard the door to his garage open and close a moment later. 

As he set his drawing utensils down, a small frame clad in black made way into his workspace only, instead of his usual gait as if he owned the place, the newcomer’s shoulders were slumped, and Hoseok couldn’t help but worry. 

"Oh," Kihyun breathed out, noticing Hoseok for the first time. "You’re still up." 

"You know I have trouble sleeping, Kihyunnie." 

Hoseok watched him attentively, wondering whether it was the right time to inquire about what was troubling the boy or not. He’d decided on the latter option, as Kihyun fidgeted uncomfortably under his stare. 

"Yeah, well–you should change that." 

"I could say the same to you, Cotton Candy," Hoseok joked with a small smile as the boy pulled the beanie off his head and shoved his fingers through the mess that was his bright pink hair. 

"Shut up, Slurpee," Kihyun fired back, referring to Hoseok’s own unusual choice of hair colour, his previously blond locks tipped in a blue light as the sky on a cloudless day. Both had chosen such peculiar colours to mark a new era in which they’d relocated to work on the still lifeless machine that would eventually help them find peace, but not before they found each other and completed the X–Clan once again. 

Hoseok laughed at the comparison, but he’d soon sobered up upon noticing that there was something wrong with Kihyun, as the normally energetic and fierce boy was merely an empty shell of himself. 

"Do you reckon we’ll get some real rest anytime soon?" Hoseok had settled to ask, unsure if the younger was willing to open up to him or not. 

Kihyun fell unceremoniously onto the chair by the machine covered by the nylon material, sighing dejectedly. "I wish I knew," he said, his words dragged out by an uncontrollable yawn. 

Hoseok was beyond worried. Leaving his blueprint unfolded on his workbench, he walked across his garage, and kneeled next to where Kihyun was seated. He placed a hand on the boy’s knee in a comforting touch, and when he flinched in response, it only confirmed Hoseok’s suspicions that something was seriously wrong. 

"Kihyunnie," he spoke in a soft tone, "what happened to you?" 

"N– _nothing_." 

The blond sighed. "Can we, just this once, skip the part where you keep avoiding your own problems, and move to the part where you tell me what to do to help ease your mind?" 

He could see Kihyun’s Adam’s apple move as the boy gulped nervously, but refused to give up until he budged under his scrutinizing stare. 

"I–I’m fine, hyung. Really," the younger insisted, pulling the collar of his hoodie up until it covered half of his face, having buried his nose in it. 

Hoseok sighed. He saw right through the pink haired boy’s antics – the way he’d chosen to disappear into the large clothes he wore, knowing that his elder could read him like an open book. In such times, Hoseok knew there was only one person that never failed to bring a smile to Kihyun’s face, but they had to stay away from that very person to ensure his safety during their quest. 

"Please?" 

Kihyun looked away. It almost made Hoseok smile at the thought that the boy most likely considered burying his whole head into the hoodie to disappear completely from Hoseok’s sight, but his tense position was bothersome. 

"Hyung, I–" 

"Yeah?" 

"I–I found the location of the flowers." 

Hoseok’s eyes widened at the news. "How–?" 

His eyes widened even further when Kihyun’s small frame shook like a leaf in the autumn wind, and soon he saw crystalline droplets rolling down his defined cheek bones in the dancing light coming from the cackling fireplace. He was on his feet in a flash, dragging Kihyun into his arms. He felt a tear of his own drip down his face as the boy’s body shook in his tight hold with heart wrecking sobs. It was a shocking scene to comprehend, as the broken boy whose tears left damp marks in Hoseok’s shirt had always been the toughest of them all, despite his petite figure, so he couldn’t fathom the things he’d undergone to have him shaken so badly. 

"Kihyun," he said, his voice barely a whisper, "you need to tell me what happened, or else I won’t know how to make it better." 

He lightly brushed his fingers through the pink locks in a soothing manner, but nothing he did seemed to work on Kihyun. His words had made him cry even harder. 

"That–that’s just it," he said, his words muffled as he gasped for air. "There’s nothing you can do to make it better." 

Hoseok’s dam had broken as well, no longer able to contain the tears that had been threatening to spill. "You’re worrying me, Kihyunnie. So bad." 

Kihyun was choking on his own tears, being buried in Hoseok’s chest making it even harder to breathe through his uncontrollable sobs. Despite the difficulty, his selfish part wanted to hold onto his elder just a tad longer, to revel in the unconditional love one more moment before he told him the things he’d done, which would put an end to Hoseok’s affection towards him. 

" _I killed a man, alright?_ " Kihyun shouted angrily – angry at himself. "I–I had a lead on where the flowers could be and–he–this strange man–" 

To his astonishment, Hoseok had kept his composure, only tightening his hold on Kihyun. The act felt like another stab to Kihyun’s already battered heart. 

"What man?" 

"He–I don’t know. He had this mask on, and–" Kihyun’s words were becoming incorrigible as his speech became alert and panicked. "Changkyun–he’ll never forgive me–" 

"Kihyun." 

He was no longer able to form coherent words, so Hoseok went on. 

"We’ll get you through this. Through everything."


	16. Beautiful - Fighter - Found - Twelve

_Bring him to me, and I’ll show you the path to what you’re seeking_. 

Those had been the words that echoed off the walls in the abandoned factory where Kihyun had been asked to meet a man he did not know. He’d thought it odd at first, when he’d found that the factory had been emptied, only a large mass of dust and spider webs left behind, and wondered if he’d mistaken the place described on the letter with instructions that he’d received. It was only when a voice spoke from the shadows that he knew he’d gone to the right place, only the contour of a figure clad in black visible in the shadows, the man’s low, yet powerful voice resonating through the empty room. 

He knew it was a bad idea to follow the man’s instructions. 

He knew people dearest to him would never forgive him for it. 

He knew there was no undoing to his actions – yet he went through with them. 

As he dragged the heavy body bag over his shoulder, leaving behind a trail of crimson, he remembered the overwhelming feeling of false power he’d had when his knife had been pressed against the man’s neck. Desperate to find the location of the delphinium flowers they’d lost months earlier, their secret hideout having been ambushed and destroyed when the X–Clan had been at its weakest, Kihyun had been driven to do unspeakable things – things he never would have even considered on a clear mind. Having lost three members of the clan, however, followed by the disappearance of a fourth that had been playing them all along, Kihyun wished for nothing more but to bring things back to the way they were, even if it meant losing parts of himself on the way. 

He stopped to catch his breath when he arrived at the same abandoned factory where he’d met the strange man the first time, and adjusted his hood over his head, the material serving as a curtain to cast shadows over his eyes. 

In all honesty, he was afraid. Of what, he wasn’t sure, but he could feel his hands shaking uncontrollably as the adrenaline rush left his system, and memories of only hours earlier haunting him continuously. He slid off the outer wall of the factory, having a few moments to spare until their meeting, and pushed his fingers roughly through his hair, pulling at the bleached strands. 

He’d been too exhilarated and desperate to do anything to help the people dearest to him that it was only then when realization kicked in. 

_What have I done?_

He shook his head, rubbing his knuckles against his eyes to wipe the tears that threatened to spill away. The deed was done, so he needed to control himself and last a little longer until making way to guilt, to complete the quest he’d started and find the flowers he’d searched for all the time he’d been away from– 

_Changkyun_. 

It was enough to think of a mere name for his tears to escape. As much as he’d worked on bringing them all back together, he couldn’t imagine Changkyun – the boy who’d never strayed from their vows – forgiving him for the things he’d done–for taking one’s life. _There’s always another way, hyung_ , he would tell him each time his anger had gotten the best of him. 

_It had been a stressful day for the clan. The boys had been spending the time they had to spare in their usual location near the junkyard, where they’d always scavenged for trinkets and knick–knacks, when they’d heard the unmistaken sound of a pained grunt. The seven of them only needed one glance at one another, before they’d all set off to where the sound had come from, only to find one of the officers on patrol kicking a figure that had dropped to the pebbled ground in pain. The officer had cowered upon seeing that the numbers hadn’t been in his favour, and it was only after they’d made sure the beaten man could stand on his own feet that Kihyun exploded._

_"We could’ve killed him right here!"_

_Hyunwoo gave him a levelled glance. "It’s not what we stand and fight for, you know that. You_ vowed _it."_

_Kihyun visibly flinched at their leader’s words, ashamed of what he’d recklessly voiced aloud. "I know that," he said, dropping his head in guilt, moving pebbles about with the heel of his boot. "But–what he did–I still think he should be punished."_

_"I agree," Hyunwoo nodded. "But that’s not our job."_

_Newborn fury flashed in Kihyun’s eyes once again as he met Hyunwoo’s in a challenging look. "He could be doing the same to someone else right now!"_

_"We fight battles our own way," Hyunwoo insisted. "We’ve all vowed it when we became part of the X–Clan."_

It’s unfair _, Kihyun wanted to say, but he’d decided against it, before he angered their leader._

_He looked away, to avoid all the sympathetic looks from the other members, Hyunwoo included, until they’d all shuffled away and walked back to their hangout place. It was only when he’d wanted to follow them that he realized one of them had stayed behind and, to his distaste, it had been the only member he had rejected from the very beginning and refused to accept as one of theirs._

_"Hyung," the boy said, stopping in his tracks as though to ponder his words before voicing them._

_Although he was the same height and stature as Kihyun, Changkyun seemed considerably smaller as he stood there unmoving, with his hands firmly locked behind his back and fidgeting endlessly. He’d been scared witless of Kihyun’s anger, ever since the elder had refused to acknowledge him joining their clan based on his family’s history. In the beginning, he’d considered doing his best to prove it to Kihyun that he was trustworthy, but as days passed and he had only unleashed his wrath on Changkyun, the younger had decided it was best to let him be and pray that one day he would be accepted by every member of the clan._

_"What do you want?" Kihyun all but spat out at the already frightened boy, his brow furrowing._

_"I–" Changkyun could feel himself blushing furiously under Kihyun’s intense stare, so he’d focused his gaze on the pebbles beneath his feet._

_Kihyun shook his head dismissively. "Stop wasting my time."_

_He’d turned to leave, but stopped in his tracks when Changkyun’s voice, usually deep, called his name in the softest tone._

_"I just–I wanted to say–" He forced himself to lift his gaze to meet Kihyun’s and, to his surprise, the boy was actually listening. "There’s always another way. I–I get where you’re coming from, but–don’t let anger overpower you." Changkyun could feel a droplet of sweat roll down the back of his neck from the anxiousness he felt speaking to Kihyun. "I–I know I’m younger, and in no place to give you advice–but it’ll do you no good."_

Kihyun hadn’t realized that tears were streaming freely down his cheeks, until they’d formed a wet patch on his hoodie. He couldn’t believe what he’d done – going against the one thing Changkyun had done his best to help him control. It was the least he’d owed the boy for all the hardships he’d undergone during the time Kihyun had outright rejected him as a member of the clan. He’d never given up hope that Kihyun might one day accept him, for which Kihyun was beyond grateful, so he’d promised himself he would correct each flaw that Changkyun would point out to him, and become the best version of himself. 

He would never be forgiven for what he’d done. 

Inhaling a deep, shaky breath, Kihyun stood up when it was time to meet the man he hoped he would never have to encounter again in his life, and dragged the body bag over his shoulder and into the factory. 

Inside, on the damaged staircase by the farthest wall, a figure was perched on one of the higher steps. Kihyun pushed back the hood that concealed his eyes, and froze in his tracks when shadows cast by a fire burning into a small pit illuminated the man’s face, only to see that it was covered by a mask in the shape of a tiger’s face. Swallowing his anxiety away, he threw the body bag forward with the little strength he had left in him. 

"It’s done," he said. 

Laughter resonated through the empty room, as the man flicked his hand, and two men dressed similarly to conceal their features scattered away with the body bag. Kihyun watched nervously as they checked it, and held his breath as one of them nodded approvingly to the man with the tiger mask. 

"I didn’t think you had it in you, my boy," the haunting voice spoke in a taunting tone. "Very well. I’m pleased, yes." 

Kihyun could feel his hands forming into fists on each side of his body. "The location of the farm," he said through clenched teeth. 

The man laughed heartily in response. "Indeed, indeed. I repay every deed done in my favour." 

Without any other words, the man pointed a finger to Kihyun’s left, to which he instinctively turned his head. _Mistake_ , was his last thought when he realized he’d fallen into a trap by letting himself be distracted, when a funny smelling sack was thrown over his head. He felt himself drifting off into a deep slumber, the faint, familiar scent of delphinium tickling his nostrils. 

It was only later when Kihyun could feel himself slowly coming back to his senses, though he was still heavily drugged and feeling faint. He could feel his head loll from one side to the other, but he had little control over his muscles as whatever it was that he’d been poisoned with was making way out of his system at a slow pace. 

He couldn’t pinpoint where he was, as the sack was still over his head. It made it harder for him to breathe as he tried to fight a panic attack. He focused on his surroundings, first by moving his hands over the cushioned seat he was positioned on, only to come to the conclusion that it was a car seat, and the constant discomfort was caused by all the bumps in the road. It felt as though the farther the car moved, the worse the road turned. First it was concrete, then it felt like patched up concrete on less used roads, and finally the real bumps came when they’d moved onto a terrain road. 

His hands clenched into fists by his side at the thought that he’d been fooled, and all the things he’d done were in vain. He knew he’d been stupid to even consider them, but he’d been desperate to find the flowers and help bring the clan back together to a fault. 

Tears prickled the corners of his eyes, but he’d sealed them shut to stop them from trailing down his cheeks. He needed to stay strong and brace himself for whatever his capturers had in store for him, as well as accept the consequences to his reckless actions. 

He shook his thoughts away when he’d felt the car come to a stop, and soon enough, he was pulled out and pushed around forcefully, almost causing him to stumble a few times due to his dizziness. 

"Leave him here," was all he’d heard before he was pushed forward one last time, and he was alone. 

Tentatively, he pulled the sack off his head and ran a through his hair to push the pink locks out of his eyes. He found that he was in a place similar to the abandoned factory, the same deserted aura surrounding him. It was dark, due to the heavily dirtied windows, through which not a sliver of moonlight could pass, and he almost went off sneezing at the strong smell of dust. 

In front of him was a door. He had to squint his eyes to focus on the equally dirty and damaged glass on the door, on which he distinguished a messily spray painted X. 

_Was that it? Had the man kept his promise to him?_

The unknown scared him, when he realized he would always face it with his members, only this time he was all by himself, and he needed to explore it on his own. He listened for any movements, but nothing was audible, not even the calming sounds of the night, which only served to put his nerves on the edge. 

With small steps, he approached the door, and pulled on the handle before he had a chance to stop and over think it, but it took a couple of tries before the old door budged under his strength, the banshee–like screech of the old metal resonating through the silence. 

What he found inside the room was beyond anything he could have ever imagined. Rows and rows of potted plants sat there, clearly untouched in a long time. What was magnificent, however, was that each bush emanated a strong, violet–blue glow, all brimming with the all too familiar flowers that he’d spent months searching for. 

He needed to tell Hoseok.


	17. Beautiful - Fighter - Innocent - Thirteen

Hyunwoo was temporarily blinded by the violet light in the usually dark cell. Using a hand to shield his eyes, he focused instead on every movement around him, and was surprised to hear the disturbing creak of the old metal bars. 

_Someone was opening the door_. 

Through his closed lids, he could see the light dimming bit by bit, until it was dark again. As he opened his eyes, swirls of light flashed in front of his eyes from the shocking intensity of the mysterious violet light, until he got used once again to the darkness surrounding him, and near the open door he found the outline of a person. 

_It’s time_. 

He wasn’t sure if he’d imagined those words, if someone had voiced them, or projected them into his head, but something he was sure of was that the voice was familiar to him. Soon enough, the contour of the person drowned in violet light became more visible and he distinguished the unique features that belonged to one of his most treasured friends. 

"Jooheon, what–" 

"Hyung," the boy bowed his head in greeting, smiling at his leader. "I’ve waited for long, but it’s finally time to fetch you." 

Hyunwoo looked at him as if he’d grown a second head. It could be the long time he’d been locked in there that had driven him mad and made him imagine things, but he couldn’t comprehend what the younger was saying – even though he heard the words, he couldn’t understand their meaning. 

"What–what are you talking about–?" 

Jooheon’s smile vanished, his eyes scrutinizing Hyunwoo, attentively searching for any emotion he might give away, as to figure out how much was safe to tell him. 

"I’ve been watching you," the younger told him. "I’ve watched you battle your inner demons all this time you’ve been stuck in here, and I think you’re ready. Besides, a blue moon is coming up in a fortnight." 

Hyunwoo’s brows nearly met in a frown, soft lines creasing his forehead as he focused on the boy’s words that made no sense to him whatsoever. There was something strange about the look in his eyes, too. Although Hyunwoo’s frame was much larger, he felt considerably smaller under the boy’s attentive gaze. 

"Blue moon?" he found himself echoing stupidly. 

"Mmm. Delphinium flowers are strongest then." 

"What–what’s that got to do with anything?" 

Jooheon’s features softened at his leader’s inquiries. He chose to say nothing, which only served to drive Hyunwoo insane as question after question popped in his head. 

"Come with me," Jooheon said instead. 

"How did you even–how’d you get in here? I–I can’t leave–" 

"Hyung," the younger said, cutting him off. "I’m asking you to trust me blindly this time. I won’t do anything that will cause you any harm, I can promise you that. I only need your trust." 

"But this prison–" 

Jooheon stepped inside the cell and approached Hyunwoo. He wrapped his arms around the elder, barely circling his wide shoulders in a much needed embrace – a brief contact to remind him that he wasn’t alone in that messed up world of theirs. 

"You’ve served your time. You’ve fought your inner battles, and now it is time you come join me, out of this place." 

Hyunwoo gaped at him, but opposed it no longer. He thought of all the times Jooheon had put his own safety on the line to save his hide, and realized he had no reason not to trust the boy as he’d asked, blindly. Without questioning his actions any further, he followed Jooheon into the violet light that filtered into the cell through the metal bars. 

The same violet light filled the room in which Minhyuk and Hyungwon were held captive, but they barely registered it under the influence of the high dosages of tranquilizers and anti–depressants they’d both been administered. They had flashes here and there, bits and pieces of the memories they could recall when the medicine started to wear off, but most were long gone, like their will to live a day longer in that place. It couldn’t even be called living. They– _existed_. 

Minhyuk had, once again, strayed from his bed and moved onto Hyungwon’s. The strait jackets stopped them from any physical contact, but their bond strengthened only at their close proximity. They fed off each other’s aura, as if transferring energy from one body to the other, which was how they’d lifelessly existed all that time that they’d been held in what they supposed was a mental institution, heavily drugged to take away their free will. 

Upon seeing the bright light, they braced themselves for what was to come. None of the healers or nurses had tolerated them moving about, perturbed by the fact that their stubborn natures often fought the high dosages of tranquilizers, therefore choosing to punish them with electric shocks whenever they misbehaved. It was the smallest price to pay, they both thought as they shared one last look, before awaiting their punishment. 

Instead of the nurse on duty, however, stood an unfamiliar healer, twirling his stethoscope playfully as he strode inside the room. The duo awaited the much anticipated scolding, but when it didn’t come, they both looked up at the newcomer, their eyes widening at the figure that stood merely a foot into their room. 

They’d been confused, as the only thing they processed was that another healer had come to drug them into oblivion, but instead their eyes met those of a person dear to them both, his chocolate coloured eyes radiating warmth and comfort. 

"Hyungs," Jooheon greeted them, a mischievous smile playing on his plump lips. 

Neither Minhyuk, nor Hyungwon, could form a coherent word to voice, though their minds went haywire, disbelieving that the boy was truly there. They would have laughed it off if they had the energy to do so – it had likely been so long since they’ve been brought to the institution that the drugs had finally completely taken over their minds, and planted images that weren’t real. 

Jooheon wasted not a moment longer, aware that the two were unable to do anything under the influence of the drugs. He strode further into the room until he came to a stop next to the bed they both lay on, and outstretched his hands towards them. 

The two shared a confused look, before averting their gazes to what laid in each of Jooheon’s palms. A blue and a purple gummy bear was in each hand, and it only confused them further. The bears, however, reminded them of happier times, when they’d been together with the rest of the clan and teased their leader that he resembled a bear. 

"Take these," Jooheon urged them. 

They were unable to form any words, but questions stood on the tip of their tongues. The colours were vaguely familiar, but they couldn’t put their finger on what exactly they reminded them of, so they had nothing but to trust the boy. 

Tentatively, they chewed on the gummy bears, Hyungwon frowning and Minhyuk’s nose scrunching in distaste at the raw, bitter taste, instead of the sweetness they’d expected. Their first instinct was to spit everything out, but soon their eyes widened in recognition, as memories flooded them in such a rush that they felt dizzy. They felt as though the fog in their minds had cleared, and they could once again make decisions for themselves and move about, as well as think clearly and remember every memory they’d thought they’d lost. 

Minhyuk was the first to speak, as he’d quickly connected the dots. 

"You found Hyunwoo?" 

Jooheon only grinned in response, his smile warm at the sight of the unbreakable bond of the two sitting in front of him as Hyungwon leaned into Minhyuk’s chest, both sighing in relief. 

Changkyun wished he were able to say he had found Hyunwoo–the bear, he corrected himself with a shake of his head, causing his hair to poke into his eyes, but he was unbothered by the action, too drawn into the game he was trying to defeat – the same game he’d programmed. 

He was once again seated on the concrete floor, inside the new hideout he’d found for himself after Kihyun’s and Hoseok’s departure, having found it too hard to spend his time in a place that had once been crowded by six other boys, obnoxiously loud if he dared say so, but dear to him. The house had been empty for the past months in which he hadn’t heard a word from any of them, and he couldn’t bring himself to visit it, even if only to check if the place hadn’t been fully claimed by spider webs. The memories the house held were too painful for him to deal with in their absence, so he’d had no choice but to find another place – an escape from his father’s house during the day. 

He’d stumbled upon an abandoned orphanage by the outskirts of the town one day and, after searching through his father’s archives, he’d found that the building had been set on fire not long after his birth, and it had been abandoned ever since. It wasn’t such a bad place, he thought. A couple of mattresses had survived the fire and, although in a bad condition, he’d draped a cover over them and deemed them comfortable enough. On the days he didn’t work on the game he tried so hard to defeat, he’d explored the rooms that hadn’t been completely damaged, and found dozens of abandoned teddy bears, as well as toys and other knick–knacks that had belonged to the children that had resided that orphanage. 

_Game over. Try again?_

He sighed as he read the pixelated words printed out on the handheld device. The game was tiring him out, but he needed to defeat it in order to find the bear that he’d looked for in the past months, and for that he needed to find his way through the endless maze before the time ran out. His character inside the game was faced with a multitude of white halls that led to more white halls, as well as different rooms in which he needed to solve puzzles in order to escape. It was always the room filled with wealth that had left him clueless about his next move. 

Slamming his head back against the wall in defeat, he pushed the handheld device aside and closed his eyes to fight off the tears of frustration that threatened to fall freely. It pushed him over the edge as it was the last thing that had kept him going in all the months he’d spent alone. He’d trusted Kihyun when the elder had promised him he would return for him, and that it would be the last time he would be left behind, but as time passed, he had begun to wonder if it had all been a lie to comfort him upon his departure with Hoseok. 

The game, he’d first created as a way to pass time. It had been a simple maze that a virtual character needed to escape, but the more he programmed, the more features he’d developed for it, although he couldn’t remember most, as he’d munched on a blue petal every once in a while out of boredom. Sometimes he felt the tug of the delphinium, the newfound energy within him, and how it took control of the fingers that tapped away until it had become a game he was unable to defeat. 

" _Shhh_." 

The unexpected sound of something metallic hitting the ground just outside the window under which he was seated had broken Changkyun’s concentration. His eyes widened, feeling nervous for the first time since he’d stepped into the orphanage that seemed secure due to the fact that it had been completely forgotten by everyone. 

His heart drummed heavily against his ribcage as he held his breath and waited, accelerating at the familiar creak of the front door that had seen better days and nearly fell off its hinges. 

"Are you sure he’s here?" 

From the fast pace his heart had taken on, it then stopped altogether when he heard the lisp he’d begun to think he would never hear again. _Could it truly be him?_

The hushed voices came closer with each second and became clearer as they approached him in what felt like an eternity. Changkyun felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach when a head full of pink hair poked through the crack in the door to the room he’d spent most of his time in, followed by a blob of a mixture of blond and a blue so bright it reminded him of the sky on a sunny summer day. 

"Hyung–" 

In a flash, the pink haired boy had crossed the room and held him in his strong hold, but he wasn’t bothered by it. From the corner of his eye, he could see Hoseok throwing an apologetic smile his way before turning on his heels and pulling the door closed behind him to offer them privacy. 

"I’m never leaving again," were the first words that Kihyun had told him. 

_Kihyun was there_. 

Changkyun could feel the sting of fresh tears pooling in his eyes, and he no longer fought them back. He let them fall instead, uncaring that the crystalline droplets left a wet blotch into the soft material of Kihyun’s sweater. It didn’t bother him that the elder’s embrace left him breathless, nor that the boy was crushing him to his chest. He returned the gesture, disbelieving that the one who held him was truly Kihyun. 

"Hyung," Changkyun tried again, dismissing the damp patch he felt forming in his own sweater. "You–I thought you–you wouldn’t–" 

Kihyun only cried harder, his whole body shaken up by sobs, and held the younger closer to him. 

"Never again, yeah?" he repeated. "I’m not leaving you ever again." 

"But–the others?" 

Begrudgingly, Kihyun pushed himself away from Changkyun, but still held the boy at arm’s length. He wasn’t yet prepared to break physical contact, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to let go of him any time soon either. 

"Everyone is waiting for you."


	18. Beautiful - Fighter - Innocent - Fourteen

The trio rode their bicycles back to the garage, led by Hoseok. Changkyun followed, and Kihyun trailed closely behind. He felt the need to keep a constant watchful eye on the younger – what for, he did not know. They rode in an enjoyable silence through the dank tunnels that led outside the town, all of them already feeling more excited at the thought of reuniting the whole X–Clan once again. 

Hoseok felt his lips stretch into a smile at the memory of Jooheon storming into his garage, with a timid Hyunwoo following him closely, so retracted into his protective shell that the elder seemed like he’d rather the earth crack underneath his feet and swallow him whole than meet any of the members of the clan that he’d thought he’d disappointed. 

It had been awkward, to say the least, when the younger had disappeared once again and left Hyunwoo alone with Hoseok, while Kihyun was unsure whether he was prepared to face Jooheon just yet. He’d only shared his findings with Hoseok, who seemingly had no issue with Jooheon being an otherworldly being, so Hyunwoo had thought it odd when the pink haired boy only came out upon Jooheon’s departure. 

The boy returned only a day later, with Minhyuk and Hyungwon in tow. The reunion had been teary and timid, Hoseok and Minhyuk breaking down in each other’s embrace in a mess of tangled limbs and tears streaming down their flushed cheeks, while Hyungwon had been more reluctant to join the emotional reunion, instead choosing to stand aside until he’d been dragged into Kihyun’s arms, the pink haired boy rolling his eyes playfully at the amount of affection they were displaying, but nevertheless enjoying every moment of having more members of the clan with them. 

Each boy had changed so much that none knew if the others would accept their new selves unconditionally, but they soon found that their hearts had never stopped beating in perfect sync ever since they’d made their vows to the clan, and even Kihyun had warmed up to Jooheon and decided to accept the boy as he was and give up on the ridiculous notion that he’d been using them as his lab rats. His acceptance had brought tears to Jooheon’s eyes, further confusing the ones who were unaware of its source, but no one questioned anything. 

Kihyun had felt himself smile again after a long span of time, but soon sobered up upon realizing the clan was still incomplete. Hoseok had wasted not a moment longer to pull the boy aside and offer to help with his search, and Jooheon, ever the observant one, had disclosed Changkyun’s exact location, in which he’d kept a close eye on the younger to assure he was well and safe. It had been Kihyun’s turn to tear up at the news, crushing the otherworldly boy in his embrace and muttering incorrigible words of gratitude and apology, muffled by his sobs. 

"Hyung," Changkyun uttered under his breath the moment they’d discarded their bicycles and Hoseok disappeared inside the garage. 

"Yeah?" 

"I’m–" Changkyun avoided Kihyun’s gaze, choosing to focus on the rubble and pebbles beneath his boots. "I’m nervous," he finally concluded, his deep voice so light and soft that it showed his real age, and reminded Kihyun just how young and innocent the boy truly was. 

"Whatever for?" Kihyun moved closer and held Changkyun’s clammy hand in his, feeling how nervous he was through the slight shake in his limbs. "Everyone’s been waiting to see you for so long." 

"Exactly," the younger insisted, still reluctant to meet Kihyun’s eyes. "It’s been a long time since we’ve all been together. What if they don’t–"

"Don’t say it." 

Kihyun had a vague idea of what was bothering him, but he didn’t want to hear Changkyun voice his worry, as he’d gone through the same feeling that the others wouldn’t accept him anymore. He’d made it difficult for them to accept him in the first place, but with how much he’d changed in the past months, he wasn’t sure the rest of the boys had the will to accept the new individual he’d become, but they had all welcomed him with open arms after giving him time to pour out his side of the story. 

"Everyone’s changed," Kihyun reasoned, "so much. _I_ have changed, too. But you’re our one constant, the one who brings us all together in the end. How could anyone resent you?" 

Changkyun angrily rubbed the unreasonable tears that threatened to spill with the sleeve of his sweater. "You’ve said so yourself. You’ve all changed, and I haven’t. What if we don’t match anymore–" 

It only frustrated him further when Kihyun smiled lovingly at him, but before he could protest, the elder had wrapped his arms around his small frame, engulfing him whole. 

"Trust me?" 

Changkyun was at a loss for words, so he sighed dejectedly and gave him a slight nod in response. Kihyun wished the boy were more confident, but he would take it and prove his worries were unwarranted. 

With small, hesitant steps, Changkyun followed Kihyun into the garage the elder had explained him was where he and Hoseok had relocated. His eyes widened at the sight of the monstrosity of a machine that rose tall in the middle of the room, but he couldn’t register more as a mop of dark hair flashed before his eyes, and he was enveloped in the strong hold of a boy he didn’t even have time to recognize. 

"Changkyunnie!" Minhyuk bawled, burying his already tear stained face in the crook of the younger’s neck. "We’re finally back together!" 

Changkyun could only nod against Minhyuk’s shoulder, and only then did realization hit him – _they were back together_. His glassy eyes opened when long, slender fingers ruffled his hair affectionately, and met Hyungwon’s warm eyes who muttered a greeting of his own. Close behind stood Hyunwoo, who looked unsure of himself and fearful of the youngest’s judgement, but it never came. He threw their leader a look of gratitude, still locked in Minhyuk’s death grip, and next his eyes met Jooheon’s, with whom he shared a knowing look. 

He knew. 

He knew Jooheon had kept an eye on him during the time he’d been alone. He knew Jooheon had kept an eye on everyone, even if from afar, and knew that the boy proved to be incredibly patient in his wait for the right moment to bring them all back together. He’d figured out what Jooheon was back when the boy had showed him the neon lights powered up by delphinium, and knew that the seemingly ordinary, mystical flowers were a part of who he was. Along the way, he’d also figured that Jooheon had guided him through the petals that he’d eaten to program the game he couldn’t defeat, the game that was so much more. 

"It’s a blue moon tonight, isn’t it?" Changkyun voiced his question more like a statement awaiting confirmation, earning curious looks from the rest of the boys surrounding him. 

Jooheon grinned in response, but instead turned to look at Kihyun. "The flower, is it still in the greenhouse?" 

Baffled, Kihyun nodded. "Want me to bring it here?" 

"Please. The extract I brewed is almost ready. Changkyun?" 

The youngest, finally free from Minhyuk’s hold, moved with an excited bounce in his step towards the colossal machine in the middle of the garage. "Hoseok hyung, can you wire me up to it?" 

The two were already moving towards the large piece of metal, with the rest of the boys trailing behind curiously, except for Kihyun who’d muttered something about running up to the greenhouse on the roof of the building to fetch the flower. Hoseok had connected Changkyun’s handheld device to the core of the machine he’d built, his heart beating faster at the thought that his work would finally come to life with the help of the youngest’s code. 

As Changkyun tapped away on his controls to program the machine to do their bidding, his eyes becoming hazy as he focused his entire concentration on his task, while Jooheon had brought his still bubbling, freshly brewed delphinium extract, its pungent smell similar to the smoke of a burnt out candle tickling their nostrils. Kihyun returned, holding a potted plant that had a single bulb, the flower itching to break out in full bloom. 

With a satisfied yelp, Changkyun concluded that he’d successfully bonded his game to Hoseok’s machine, a bright smile splitting his face. 

"It’s done." 

True to his words, the previously blank monitor installed on the machine flashed brightly with life, and on it they saw a violet heart, beating healthily and brimming with life, although disconnected from any artery. Kihyun’s eyes widened upon recognizing the heart he’d seen in the woods, and Jooheon confirmed his suspicions with a nod when their gazes met. 

It was Jooheon’s heart they were currently monitoring – the heart of the machine, the heart of delphinium. 

_Their heart_. 

The boys wasted not a moment longer to trap Changkyun in their hold, all breathing in relief and enjoying each other’s presence. It was over – their pain and hardships, everything was over, and they were free to move onto a realm where they knew no pain and suffering, a place where they could redeem themselves as individuals and start anew as an improved X–Clan. 

In the midst of their cheers and tears of joy, Changkyun moved to bury his face in the chest of the person he’d thought about all the time he’d spent writing the code for his game, the one his virtual character had failed to find. He wrapped his arms around his torso, and smiled against Hyunwoo’s chest when he felt his larger arms coiling around him. 

"Stop over thinking it, hyung." 

Hyunwoo couldn’t help but laugh at the youngest’s antics, attracting the attention of all the boys for a split second with his roar. "Stop being the mature one here," he fired back, moving one hand to pat Changkyun’s soft hair lovingly. 

"Guys," Jooheon’s voice was muffled from within their group hug and, one by one, they let go of each other and formed a circle that was all too familiar. "Let’s end this with another vow?" 

Jooheon glanced over at Hyunwoo, who’d been quiet the whole time, still disbelieving that he hadn’t disappointed any member of the clan he lead. He’d responded with a nod, the smallest of smiles tracing his lips as he did so. 

As foggy memories flooded them from their previous vow under the influence of the delphinium extract they’d taken, the boys sat cross legged on the cold concrete floor, and took hold of the hands of those to their left and right. They would do it differently this time around, with clear minds and bonded hearts. 

"We," Kihyun started, his hand giving Jooheon’s a reassuring squeeze. "we risk our everything. To protect the X–Clan, we vowed." 

"But I–" Jooheon uttered in turn, "I deserted the X–Clan." 

"I dreamt of a beautiful dream," Hyungwon spoke serenely, his eyes scanning each boy in turn, until his eyes finally settled on Minhyuk’s. "At the end of that dream, let all of us meet again." 

Minhyuk’s eyes became glassy. "We let go of each other," he said in a whisper barely there, sobs shaking his entire body to his core. Both Hyungwon and Changkyun, who was holding Minhyuk’s other hand, moved their thumbs across the back on his hands in the most soothing of touches, the elder responding with a grateful smile to both of them. 

"We," Changkyun said, his eyes meeting Hoseok’s, "to find the X–Clan, walked lonely roads, constantly fought." 

"And at the end of the fight," Hoseok continued with a bright smile of his own, "we meet again." 

"We will give our all to protect the X–Clan," Hyunwoo said, making way to all of his locked up emotions to spill out as he saw nothing but unconditional love in the eyes of each boy, all of their orbs fixed on him. "We swear." 

The seven boys closed their eyes, their hands still twined together, and they felt the blood pulse through each palm, pumping through their veins and bringing their hearts to a perfect sync. They let out the breaths they’d all been holding, and when their eyes met again, they were all prepared for a fresh start. 

Upon noticing the bulb under the bright moonlight, Changkyun was the first to stand up and break their circle, sprinting towards the console of his game. The rest followed suit, but remained silent as the youngest had begun to tap furiously once again. 

"I need to wait for the right moment," he muttered under his breath, his eyes briefly meeting Hoseok’s, who moved to the control panel to flip a number of switches, and Jooheon moved on autopilot to fuel the machine with the extract that was no longer bubbling, only light steam rising from the container. 

They waited as the blue moon aligned perfectly to speed up the growth of the single delphinium flower, hence signalling the right moment to start up the machine. Jooheon had urged them all to take hold of a plaster that connected them to the machine, while Changkyun’s full focus was on the last lines he needed to input in order to bring a large piece of metal to life. 

"Wait," he said, exchanging a look with Hoseok, whose free hand hovered above the final switch. The elder nodded in confirmation, indicating that he was ready. 

" _Now_!" 

Changkyun hit the last control, Hoseok flipped the last switch, and they all held their breaths in anticipation. Under the bright moonlight, the delphinium flower was in full bloom, its glow momentarily distracting the boys from the monitor, until Minhyuk gasped and Hyungwon muttered disbelieving words under his breath. 

Jooheon’s heart was no longer pumping alone, but instead six arteries connected to it. They had all become one, connected to a single heart, and they were ready to start a new life as a renewed clan with refreshed energy. 

A light blinded and engulfed them whole, and when they were able to see again, they found themselves standing in a white hall. Everything around them was pristine – even the clothes they wore had been swapped to perfectly white outfits. 

"What is this place?" Hoseok was the first to speak up. 

Everyone was silent, but Jooheon’s gaze was fixed on their youngest, whose brain processed all the new information at an alarming speed, such that they could nearly see the gears turning in his head. 

"It makes sense now," Changkyun said, filling Jooheon with pride with his intellect. "The game, how I couldn’t defeat that level–" 

He looked at each boy in turn, and recalled each level of his game that he’d gone through. The room filled with greenery, the next filled with armoury and weapons, followed by the hollow room with hanging pendulums, drowned in a dim light that had reminded him of dusk. The following room he’d gone through was filled with mailboxes, the next with mirrors, and he finally came to an end to the room filled with wealth in which he could not solve the puzzle to escape and finish the game. 

"They’re trials," he mumbled incorrigibly to himself, before turning to speak to everyone. "In order to redeem ourselves, we need to face a number of trials, each designed to our past experiences," he said, his eyes lighting up with each word he spoke. "We defeat the trials, and we’re free." 

Five of the remaining six boys gaped at him, but Jooheon’s satisfied grin confirmed that he was right. Changkyun’s heart beat at an alarming speed in excitement, taking off without a word along the familiar maze of halls he’d explored in the handheld device, soon enough followed closely behind by the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas, guys! I hope you can all spend the holidays with your families and loved ones! ^^


	19. Beautiful - Fighter - Innocent - Fifteen

Hyunwoo felt light. 

He felt as though he was floating on a cloud, uncaring of all the hardships people faced, devoid of cares and free to do as he pleased without worrying about facing tough consequences. It was a feeling he never wanted to forget and to let go of, but instead wanted to hold onto it with clenched teeth and guard it. 

It almost felt too good to be true. 

He was lying on the ground, and upon further inspection, his fingers ran over what felt like freshly cut grass, and it smelled like it too. He revelled in the fresh scent, the tips of his fingers tickled each time he touched a stray dandelion. It was only when he got prickled that he opened his eyes, and they widened at the sight that awaited him. 

At first he’d thought he was outside, but at a closer look, he found he was trapped inside a room filled with greenery, trees and wild shrubs lining the walls, only a metallic door with small, round windows, giving him a glimpse at the world outside the room, and namely a white hall and nothing more. The room emanated a deep blue light that reminded him of the all too familiar flowers that were both a curse and a blessing and, sure enough, behind him he found one lone bush brimming with the delphinium flowers enclosed in a glass cube, which drowned the room in their mysterious hue. 

Flexing his hurting joints, Hyunwoo stood to his feet and moved to examine the glass container, eyeing the flower accusingly. It was the flower that had brought him so much suffering, but at the same time eased his pain when he was in need. 

_No_ , he shook his head. What he’d done couldn’t be called _easing pain_. He’d chosen the coward’s way out, to down the whole contents of the vial filled with liquid just as blue as the flower before his eyes, mocking him with its deceitful beauty. 

He moved across the room without a second glance at the flower, and peered through the round windows to see what awaited him outside. The white hall was seemingly deserted, but lined with doors on one side and the other, the one across the hall being a mirror to his own, with the same round windows. 

He sighed. 

Gazing behind at the flower in the glass cube, he wondered what trial he needed to face in order to escape the room. 

Kihyun woke up with a splitting headache. 

Rubbing his temples in an ineffective attempt at easing the pain, he opened his eyes and found himself seated on the cold floor, his back flat against metal. 

The walls around him looked like steel, light reflecting off of them and blinding him. The brightness of the neon lights on the ceiling bothered his eyes, especially with the way they glimmered onto each piece of metal in the room – basically all of it. 

Carefully lined in a circle on the floor around him laid a multitude of weapons, each in different sizes and designs, polished to perfection and sharpened to kill. Swords and knives, all laid on the cool concrete, almost as if daring him to pick one up if he wanted to escape their confines. 

On the other side of the room from where he was seated, he found a metallic door with no handle, only a window large enough to cover the entire upper half of the door, offering him a clear view of what was outside. Taking a leap over the weapons as to leave them undisturbed, he traced the frame of the window with the tips of his fingers as he glimpsed outside, and found a white hall dotted with several other doors, only the one straight across the hall identical to his. 

He felt his eyes widen at the sight of a familiar figure behind the large window similar to his, the same worry etched in his beautiful features. Hyungwon stood there, angrily slamming his fist against the glass. Kihyun flinched and cowered away, awaiting the inevitable broken glass and Hyungwon’s bleeding hands, but he soon found that the window didn’t budge under pressure. He hit his own and, sure enough, nothing happened, save for a fleeting pain in his knuckles. 

Kihyun turned on his heels to scan the room fully, and found that the metallic block he’d been leaning against was modelled as a pedestal, on which stood an anvil. 

_What am I supposed to do with all of these?_

Weapons and an anvil – they all reminded him of the picture of Hoseok, using his own back at the garage to model metal, heated up to his bidding. He wondered if he was supposed to do the same, to remodel the weapons into something less harmful, or if he could use them to escape the confines of his room. 

Newfound anger coursed through his veins in frustration. He pushed his fingers through his hair, furious that his clouded mind couldn’t think rationally – he’d always been one to take action instead of thinking things through, so the situation he was forced to face was taking its toll on him. 

He needed the members of the clan. 

Minhyuk felt as though he’d lost touch with reality and, to some extent, he did. 

He groaned in protest as he groggily opened his eyes, only to find himself in a dimly lit room. It emanated a deep violet light, a saddening hue that resembled the sky at dusk, when the sun became a blob of a furious red in the sky. The room was filled with metallic pendulums hanging from the ceiling, all glinting with the same purple shades and giving the place a mystical aura, but was otherwise empty. 

A part of him was curious to explore, to touch each object that hung from the ceiling and swung lightly in the air with each breath he released, but the other part couldn’t find the will to stand up. The room reminded him of his darkest times, times in which he’d allowed himself to be driven by anger and despair, and ultimately fell into a vicious circle from which he couldn’t find a way out without his soul mate, to whom he was bonded on a level beyond any comprehension. 

There, he was alone and forced to face his trial on his own, though he was unsure whether he could do it on his own. 

Better judgement won in the end, so he pushed himself to his feet and spun three hundred and sixty degrees to take in every detail around him, only to come to a stop in front of a door, a lone, small window offering little light from what awaited him outside. With small, tentative steps, he moved to stand in front of the door and leaned closer to the window, to be faced with one identical to his, the white hall deserted, with not a sign of life. 

Shaking his head, he turned to face the room of his trial once again. 

The metallic pendulums, each of different sizes, reminded him of the time that was passing him by. He was lost in a reality of his own, and was then faced with the need of escaping it on his own, without outer support from the rest of the members of the clan. It was a task he wasn’t prepared to take on, as the boys dearest to him had become his foundation over the years that he’d known them, his rock that anchored him back to reality when he needed it. 

_Do I even want to leave this place?_

It seemed tranquil – a place where he could ponder his actions and exist without knowing any pain and suffering, like a protective shell in which he could retract whenever he needed reassurance or a safe confinement. Safe didn’t mean he would live– _exist_ in a happy realm or evolve in any way, but it was a place in which no one was able to hurt him, nor was he able to hurt anyone in turn. 

Flicking a pendulum and watching it swing powerfully in void, Minhyuk considered remaining in that protective shell longer, too fearful of what could await outside the metallic door. 

Hoseok woke up with tears in his eyes. 

His eyes shot open, and he breathed in relief as he exited the dream that had haunted him. He’d dreamed of a place where no one heard him, no matter how loud he’d shouted. The members of the clan saw him, they saw him move his lips, saw him gesture maniacally with his desperate hands in the air, but they couldn’t comprehend the words he was saying. 

His hands moved about to his side, and found that he was lying on a patterned rug. His eyes were met with a chandelier hanging from the ceiling right above his head, so he averted his gaze someplace else and allowed his vision to readjust to the light to take in everything that was surrounding him. 

Lining the walls in the room were dozens, _hundreds_ of small mailboxes, each metallic door glinting in the warm light. He stood up and moved along the walls full of mailboxes, trailing a lazy finger over their pristine surface, leaving his fingerprints behind. At the back of the room, he soon found, was a wall with an opening on one side and the other, behind which he’d stepped hesitantly. 

His breath caught in his throat at the sight of the farthest wall lined with hooks just as many as there were mailboxes, golden keys hanging from each, all sculpted into a different design and carved with intricate models. He approached them and picked one from its hook randomly. The small piece of metal was hit by the little light that filtered into the small sectioned room, and glinted beautifully in the palm of his hand as he turned it around to admire the elaborate and soft shapes. 

Returning to the main room, Hoseok searched for the mailbox that matched the number carved onto the key, and turned it into the lock to open the box. Inside laid a letter addressed to him, and tears pooled in his eyes as he recognized the handwriting. Unable to face the words written to him, he carefully rolled the parchment and placed it back inside the mailbox. 

Leaning against the wall of mailboxes, he slid down until he came to a halt on the rug, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, his broad shoulders hunching and his head dropping forward in defeat. He’d already gotten a fair idea of what he was to face during his trial, and shudders ran down his spine at the thought of it. 

Would he ever be able to find the power within him to respond to all those letters addressed to him? They could be words of comfort and admiration, or spiteful words meant to hurt him, but he couldn’t yet find the strength, nor did he have the means to reply, to voice his own thoughts and opinions for once. 

Hoseok bumped his head against the metallic doors of the mailboxes onto which he leaned, glancing at the small window in the door to his room that was his only connection to the outer world. 

Hyungwon awoke from his deep slumber, confused as to where he was currently located. 

His fingers trailed the uneven surface on which he lay, only to find sand and broken fragments of shells and pebbles. His eyes opened, and he was met with a beautiful, yet eerie sight. Standing up, he admired all the large pieces of broken glass and mirrors planted into the sand in odd angles, a soft turquoise and pink light glinting from one to another, forming a brilliant show of lights. 

Across the room stood a metallic door with a large window carved into it. He walked over to peer outside, only to come face to face with an equally confused and panicked Kihyun behind a door identical to his. Hyungwon could feel his heartbeat accelerating at the thought that they’d all been locked in individual rooms with no escape, so he hadn’t considered the consequences when he slammed his fist against the glass. Pain shot from his knuckles, but to his surprise, he found that the window hadn’t budged and laid undamaged, mocking him. 

He turned to face the mirrors inside the room, which reflected a boy he no longer recognized. He’d lost his identity, the empty eyes staring lifelessly back at him unfamiliar to him. 

Hyungwon wished to avoid his reflection for the rest of his days, but it drove him insane that every corner that he turned to showed him the same thing reflected in each mirror – a scared and lost boy, who needed guidance through the dark world they lived in. His only source of happiness was the clan, the group of loud and energetic boys who brightened up his days with their antics and quirks. They were all their own individuals, all with a unique and distinguished personality, and it only served to remind him that he had lost himself on the way, no longer remembering the carefree boy he used to be before he’d been forced to face the hardships of life, degrading comments that had made him close himself inside his protective walls, and actions that had made him feel worthless. 

He needed Minhyuk, and he needed the rest of the clan, to guide him and help him find himself again, but looking around the room, he knew he needed to face this trial alone. 

He leaned down to grab a fistful of sand and broken fragments, and watch it all slip through his fingers like sand slipped through an hourglass. Time was passing, and he needed to find a way out of that room, to find himself and prove to be worthy of being a member of the X–Clan, someone the others could be proud to call one of their own. 

His hands moved to grab and tug at his hair in frustration at the thought that he was all alone. He kicked the sand angrily, fragments flying around the room in every direction, but his anger was the first strong emotion he’d felt in a long time, so he’d chosen to hold on to it. 

Changkyun woke up with a bright light bothering his eyes through his closed lids. 

Shielding his eyes, he opened them to find himself in a magnificent room. Gold bars, as well as stacks of bills and coins, golden and silvery and bronze, shimmered brilliantly into the room. A beautiful wallpaper in rich colours covered the walls, and behind him he found a grand fireplace lined with gold that took his breath away. He couldn’t fathom so much wealth in one place, so he was hesitant in touching a gold bar, as if it would disappear as soon as his skin connected with it. 

He took in his surroundings, revelling in the beauty of the glimmering gold that covered every surface around him. 

He sighed. 

The room was all too familiar. He’d played his own game too many times that he had memorized every detail about it, except this time he wasn’t living it through his virtual character, but instead he was living it himself. He remembered solving the puzzles in each room previous to the one he was in, the rooms in which the other members of the clan were likely stuck, and remained stuck in the room that had always brought his game to an end – the only room he couldn’t find a way out of. 

Anything he did felt in vain, as he’d already searched the room upside down through his game, each time coming up with no answer until the time ran out and the taunting words, _Game over_ , were printed out on the screen. 

He sat cross legged on the marble floor and propped his head into his palms, his elbows planted into his knees, and went over everything he’d tried before that led to his failure and ultimate defeat by his own creation. He’d gone over all his interactions with the others, focused especially on his interactions with the otherworldly boy who was likely monitoring them all closely, watching their individual progress as he’d always done, but nothing useful or logical came to mind. 

Furious at himself and his helplessness, Changkyun stood up and kicked a pile of coins, their clanks resonating through the silent room. He flipped a table upside down, and watched the gold bars roll onto another pile of shiny coins, uncaring of all the noise he was making. 

It was only when he glanced towards his door with round windows identical to the ones across the hall from his room that he saw the contour of a dark haired boy watching him closely, before disappearing in a flash. 

The door was cracked open.


	20. Brilliant

Hyunwoo heard a creak, immediately turning to look at the small opening in the door that opened. A glass vial filled to the brim with the haunting, blue liquid, was abandoned on the grass at the bottom of the door, and through the round windows he’d caught a glimpse of Jooheon, their eyes meeting in a brief moment. The boy didn’t run, and instead maintained their eye contact unbroken as Hyunwoo approached the door and held the offending vial in his hand. It glowed with both life and death, so bright that its gleam illuminated the plants surrounding him. 

"You want me to take this?" Hyunwoo asked, but Jooheon only watched him attentively, his eyes narrowed into slits, before taking off to a different room. 

Hyunwoo sighed. He supposed he was alone, after all. 

He turned once again to face the room he was locked in. He’d gone to extreme lengths in the hope of saving his father, moved on from a mental prison to a physical one, but he still hadn’t been able to get over the death of his loved one and, fittingly, the room was full of plants that represented life. He glanced at the delphinium extract in his hand, remembering that it had once nearly taken his life – it stripped him of whom he was and took control over his free will. 

For a moment he’d considered drinking the whole contents of the vial, but he watched with wide eyes as the greenery beneath his feet had begun to wilt away, along with his will to live. 

He shook his head. He needed to get over his past and accept that new life can always be found. He still had people dear to him that treasured him immensely and unconditionally, so he didn’t think twice before pouring the blue liquid in the vial over the delphinium plant enclosed in the glass cube. 

Hyunwoo knew that by feeding the plant with the extract that represented life, therefore caring for those still alive in order for them to thrive and bloom, and ensure them a healthy future, he’d come to terms with death as a part of life. 

The door clicked open. 

Kihyun paced impatiently within his room, glancing out the window every once in a while, anger overcoming him and clouding his judgement, hence keeping him from solving his puzzle. He just wanted out, and didn’t realize that it was his own stubbornness and temper that kept him caged. 

The small opening in his door cracked, and through the large window he saw Jooheon deliver a hammer to match the anvil in his room, to help him stop forcing his way through life, and begin creating his own path by himself by working towards a solution over time, with care and thought, and building a solution with no consequences or which didn’t hurt people around him. He’d been willing to do anything it took to find the location of the delphinium flowers that he’d broken away from physical ailment and went as far as taking one’s life. Driven by a place of anger and violence, he’d always avoided taking the right path, but forced it instead of searching for different solutions, and because he was impatient, he wanted out of the room immediately. 

The swords and knives carefully aligned on the floor represented his own take on life, he’d soon realized. He’d faced his problems with those weapons, instead of thinking of peaceful solutions, but what only then crossed his mind was that he didn’t need to carry them with him everywhere. Life was about finding creative solutions instead of facing them with aggression, so he’d chosen to pick up the hammer that Jooheon had delivered and build a path of his own. 

The door clicked open. 

Minhyuk was lying on the ground, his blank eyes staring at the pendulums above, watching emotionlessly as time passed him by and choosing to do nothing about it. 

He’d come to the conclusion that he’s swerved off his path in life and lost all touch with reality. Protective to his dear one to a fault, he’d first been driven to violence, and then despair, attempting to take his own life when it didn’t seem as though he had any reason to continue living. He suffered because he felt like a failure when he was unable to protect and care for his friends, and his melancholy showed in his room, his depression keeping him away from light. 

He looked up when he heard a crack, and saw that someone pushed their hand through the small opening, from which a pocket watch hung. Minhyuk had wanted to dismiss it at first, but upon noticing that he hand still awaited him patiently, he stood up and moved one foot in front of the other, slowly making his way to meet Jooheon’s gaze through the small window. 

The boy only retracted his hand when Minhyuk took hold of the watch and moved from behind the closed door. Minhyuk glanced at the watch in his hand, awaiting the mechanical ticks as the gears moved inside, but the room was still eerily quiet. He soon found that the watch had been stuck on a significant time, tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he fought back a heart wrenching sob. 

Jooheon had provided him with the tool that helped him face his problems, so that he can see how much time he’d wasted by contemplating on his failures, and made him realize that reality won’t wait for him. He needed to wake up and forgive himself, and learn that some things were not within his control, in order to find the strength and purpose to move forward. 

The pocket watch had been stuck on the date of their first ritual, when they’d all bonded their hearts so that they beat synchronously. As he figured that out, the watch had come to life and started ticking merrily, its hands moving at a normal pace. 

The door clicked open. 

Hoseok sat at the writing station, a letter unfolded before him, but his face was buried in his hands as soft sobs took over his whole body and shook him to his core. He felt powerless, only able to read the letters, but lacking the power to respond to any of them as he’d lost his voice. 

The small opening in his door caught his attention when it cracked, and inside was delivered a pen and an ink pot on a silver tray. He scurried over to fetch them with much care, almost afraid to touch the shiny objects that would allow him to respond to all the letters in the room. 

He let out a cry in relief. 

Hoseok was able to respond to all the words he’d heard his whole life but never responded to because he lacked the confidence to do so. His every move was tentative, and he looked helpless and unsure as he held the pen, finally having the strength within himself to express his thoughts. He wasn’t sure whether he was prepared for the flood of emotions that would follow or not, but he had ultimately found his courage and his voice, therefore freeing himself from restraint and self–imposed silence. 

He’d never felt confident enough to express himself, so the empowering feeling overcame him as he scribbled letters over the piece of parchment, defeating his inner demons. 

The door clicked open. 

Hyungwon was tired of angrily kicking at the sand. He’d broken a couple of mirrors in the process as well, and the fractioned pieces only reminded him of the brokenness within himself. Nothing was whole for him anymore – he searched for an answer, but because everything was broken, none of it made sense to him, and he couldn’t figure out who he was or who he wanted to be. He suffered from an identity crisis, no longer knowing himself as everything slipped through his fingers like sand through an hourglass. 

The small opening in his door made him turn to meet Jooheon’s scrutinizing gaze through the glass. At the bottom of the door he found that Jooheon had provided him with a mirror, which only confused him further, as his whole room was filled with them. Nevertheless, he grabbed hold of it and stared at his reflection, trying to look beyond the broken boy that stared back at him this time around. In order to right himself, he needed to truly see himself and reflect over who he was, everything he had done, everything that was done to him, and choose a future for himself. 

As he saw all those things, Hyungwon dropped the mirror. He saw he’d become someone he was not proud of, and he was overcome by newfound determination to better himself in order to become who he wanted to be – someone he could look at, and someone others could rely on. 

The door clicked open. 

Changkyun had stared endlessly at the door that was cracked open, questioning its legitimacy and the reason he still felt stuck inside the room, although he had the means to escape. He looked at the wealth that surrounded him, which covered every surface available, and wondered if it was supposed to make him happy, but he’d soon realized that fortune meant nothing without people closest to him to share it with, so he’d chosen to throw it all into the flames that engulfed everything and cackled furiously. 

Unaware of his surroundings, he didn’t notice when the door was opened widely, and inside stepped Jooheon with a light smile stretched over his lips. 

"I still don’t get this," Changkyun muttered under his breath, throwing another stack of bills into the fire. 

"What is it that you don’t understand?" 

Changkyun huffed in annoyance. "The door is wide open, and yet I can’t bring myself to leave this room. I haven’t solved the puzzle." 

A hand settled softly over his shoulder, and Jooheon laughed. "I thought it would be clear by now." 

The younger scrunched his eyebrows into a frown, failing to understand what Jooheon was hinting at. 

"You’re the piece that brings the final puzzle together," Jooheon said evenly, but it only served to confuse the boy further. "You couldn’t complete the puzzle because the rest wasn’t ready yet." 

Changkyun’s eyes widened with recognition, to which Jooheon responded with a prideful smile. "They’re all free?" 

Jooheon only nodded, holding out a hand to invite Changkyun to follow him out and meet the rest of the boys, to complete the X–Clan once and for all.


	21. From Zero - Sixteen

_Breathe in, breathe out._

_Breathe_. 

It was a mantra Hoseok repeated to himself as he ran for his life. He could imagine Hyungwon scolding him for abusing the gift of Time Warp, but it was something he absolutely _loved_. It was that exhilarating feeling in the pit of his stomach – a smile ghosted over his lips as he remembered his first time, when he’d felt as though he would throw his insides out. After that, it had become a pleasurable feeling, to disappear into void, and to materialize someplace else. 

It had been a reckless idea, a whim really, to infiltrate the government, even more so when he knew the headquarters were wrapped in a protective, electromagnetic bubble that kept Time Warp from working within it, and yet he still hadn’t hesitated to break in and try his luck at breaking into their system for data regarding– 

"Catch him already, you dumb droids!" 

It was close, he could see it. The protective wall radiated with so much energy that it distorted everything that laid beyond it, and Hoseok had only a couple more leaps before he could vanish into thin air. He could feel the time regulators nearly breathing down his back as they ran. 

He was close to the transparent wall, when a hand caught the end of his shirt and held it in a death grip, he was almost there– 

" _No_!" was the last thing he heard before pressing the button on his wristwatch and, the next thing he knew, he was back in his apartment, if you could call it that. 

It was a small and cluttered place, but it was home. Brick lined the walls, and his iron rimmed bed filled out most of the place, along with a few drawers and some improvised shelves that he’d tinkered one day. Picture frames and kendo equipment littered them, as well as a dying plant he needed to throw out. 

He dropped unceremoniously onto the leather couch and threw a leg over the coffee table, turning on the local news. The holographic radio was projected on the wall, along with a calendar that displayed _2047, November 7th, PM03:01_ over the bricks. The all too familiar voice of the anchorwoman filled the small room, her robotic words echoing off the walls. 

" _Time Warp is not allowed_ ," the voice greeted. " _Do not take any watches from CHW_." 

Hoseok laughed, his eyes drifting to the watch resting around his wrist, the memory of finding Hyungwon still fresh in his mind as though it had happened the day before. 

_It had taken Hoseok a while to figure it all out._

_Once they’d all left the confines of their rooms generated by the machine he’d built himself, and brought to life with the help of Changkyun’s code and Jooheon’s delphinium extract, he thought they would all return to his garage, their new lives awaiting them. Little did they know that toying with such otherworldly forces had consequences, and it took Hoseok little time to realize he was no longer in the place he’d come from, nor the time. He’d had to adapt to a whole new lifestyle in the shortest time, and the missing members of the clan had been the hardest to accommodate to. Spending sleepless nights wondering where they’d been transported to had taken its toll on him, but he’d comforted himself by planting positive thoughts in his head, and occupying his time searching for a solution, and learning the ways of year 2047. The magnetic era, as locals called it, had turned out to suit him well, with his extensive knowledge regarding all sorts of devices._

_He visited his favourite pawnshop one day, when instead of the familiar plump owner who’d always greeted him with a salute from behind the cash registry stood no one. He glanced around for any sign of life, when the backdoor opened, the metallic bells above it clinking merrily, and in stepped the very man he’d expected, pushing his way through the door with a handful of boxes filled with trinkets._

_"Welcome, welcome," the man greeted, and Hoseok couldn’t help but smile. "Someone will be with you in a moment."_

_He opened his mouth to call a name, but Hoseok interrupted him._

_"Someone?"_

_The man’s eyes lit with recognition. "Oh, yes! Found this boy begging for a job. Bear with him, will you? He’s still new with the cash registry. Poor bloke, lost and scared on these streets. I couldn’t leave him, now could I?"_

_Hoseok could only nod grimly, agreeing with the man’s words. Those were no streets to wander alone on with no protection or, unlike Hoseok, who had a way out of any situation, completely helpless. His eyebrows met in a frown as he wondered who this boy was, but as soon as the plump man shouted out a name, his heart dropped._

_"Hyungwon, my boy," the owner of the pawnshop urged the lanky figure to step out of the backroom as he disappeared back into his storage. "Ring him up for me, will you?"_

_Hoseok couldn’t remember how to breathe when Hyungwon stood right before his eyes. He didn’t think the boy could become any slimmer, but he looked as though he’d lost weight from the little he’d always had, his once soft cheeks now hollow, like the dark rings below his lifeless eyes._

_Tears prickled the corners of his eyes. Hyungwon seemed as though he hadn’t noticed him standing there, so he waited for the boy to meet his gaze, but when he finally did, he merely forced a strained smile onto his face._

_"How may I help you, Sir?"_

_Hoseok blanched out at the lack of recognition. "S-Sir?"_

_"Oh, I–I’m sorry if I–if I insulted you–"_

_Hyungwon’s anxiety levels increased as he watched the first tear roll down Hoseok’s round cheek, followed by many others. He couldn’t fathom what the newcomer was mumbling about, his lisp accentuating and turning his words incorrigible as sobs shook his whole body. It was a peculiar sight, Hyungwon thought, to see someone so large like the one standing before his eyes, someone that looked like he could break him in half with his pinkie finger if he so desired, breaking into cries similar to a toddler’s._

_"You–you," Hoseok gasped for air, angrily wiping his sleeve over his face. "You don’t recognize me?"_

_"I–" Hyungwon looked as though he wanted the earth to swallow him whole. "Forgive me if I don’t recall meeting you–many people drop by every day–"_

_Hoseok covered his face with his hands in a useless attempt to contain his heart wrenching sobs, but to no avail. Hyungwon was beyond confused as to why he was breaking down before his eyes. Surely he couldn’t have upset him so badly for not remembering him, could he? He supposed he was a regular, but he’d only started working at the pawnshop several days before and couldn’t recall such a face – a face he would never forget, he thought to himself._

_"Can we–" Hoseok stuttered out, "can we talk?"_

_Hyungwon glanced to his left and to his right, as though searching for the closest escape route, but sighed dejectedly when the only one was behind the visitor. There was no way he was going to the backroom where the kind man who’d taken him in could find him running from a client. "I–I close the shop at ten."_

_Hoseok nodded frantically. "I’ll be here."_

The robotic voice of the anchorwoman interrupted his thoughts as her words were projected through the room. She spoke of CHW, one of the two top most searched for men, owner of the wristwatches designed to warp time, an utmost illegal action. He grinned to himself as he rotated the watch in the palm of his hand. 

_It had taken Hyungwon weeks to open up to Hoseok, but then again, the tall boy couldn’t resist his charms, nor his likeable and easy–going personality. Hoseok was like a breath of fresh air for him, bringing a slew of light in what he thought would be a dark existence for him, effectively breaking him out of his shell. He still didn’t know what to make of the story Hoseok had muttered through uncontrollable sobs the night he’d met him, but sometimes he felt as though the elder knew him–well before actually meeting him. He felt like Hoseok knew exactly which buttons to push and which to leave untouched to avoid pulling Hyungwon out of his comfort zone, and every part of it unsettled him._

_"What’s that?" Hyungwon asked out of nowhere, jutting out his chin towards the watch secured around Hoseok’s wrist by a leather bracelet._

_Hoseok frowned. "It’s a watch."_

_The younger boldly rolled his eyes at him. "This," he tapped the surface of a small box near the cash registry in the same pawnshop where they’d met, which released small, holographic digits in the air between them, "is a watch. That_ thing _looks like it would rather belong in a museum."_

_Hoseok shook his head, barely containing the smile spreading over his face. Indeed, the cogs tossed and turned and ticked merrily, and the mechanical hands dragged one another over the round display. He grinned, a sudden thought coming to mind. He wasted not a moment longer at the opportunity._

_"Want to see for yourself?"_

_Hyungwon couldn’t understand what the elder was referring to, but he nodded nevertheless. His frown deepened when Hoseok held out his hand, but silently grabbed it, avoiding eye contact at all costs. He averted his eyes at the small mechanism on Hoseok’s wrist and, before he knew it, the boy pressed a button and he felt light headed._

_Holding back the bile forming at the back of his throat, Hyungwon opened his eyes to find that he was no longer inside the pawnshop, but instead in a small, cluttered room._

_"Did you just–what–"_

_Hoseok dropped onto his bed, nodding towards his couch for Hyungwon to take a seat._

_"I use this to travel back and forth, in time and space."_

_"But–but Time Warp–it’s illegal–punishable by–"_

_"Mmm. I have my reasons."_

_Hyungwon was outraged at what he was hearing. "What in the world would be worth dying for?"_

_Hoseok looked at him, cutting the air supply to Hyungwon’s lungs. His warm eyes were glassy with unshed tears, and it was the last thing he wanted to witness again, as the last image he had of a crying Hoseok was still haunting him day and night._

_"You," Hoseok said. "You, and the others. The clan_. Our _clan."_

_"Hyung, not this nonsense again–"_

_Hoseok walked across the room and rummaged through a drawer filled with knick–knacks, until he found the item he’d been searching for. He pulled out a watch identical to the one around his wrist, only this one hung from a bronze chain. Its cogs, however, stirred with life inside the small system, its ticks ringing in their ears. Wordlessly, he gave Hyungwon the watch, who stared at it with a baffled look on his face._

_"Your tattoo," Hoseok said, one corner of his mouth tugging his lips into a smile as Hyungwon’s hand flew over the ink tattooed into the skin behind his ear. "Why’d you get it?"_

_"I–what’s that even got to do with–"_

_Hoseok outright giggled at the younger’s antics, delighted to see the boy’s cheeks flushed a rosy pink for once. It was a pleasant change from the usual paleness._

_Wordlessly, he pulled up the dark locks that fell over his ear and turned to give Hyungwon a good look of the similar X he had tattooed in the same place._

_"How–how even–"_

_Hoseok let his hair fall back in place, and sat next to Hyungwon, his eyes pleading._

_"Look at that watch. Don’t you feel anything? Don’t you remember its owner?"_

_Hyungwon was prepared to protest, but he’d decided to humour Hoseok and have a look at the mechanical device in his hands. He turned it from one side to the other, examined the fascinating cogs within it, and then it struck him. His fingers strayed over the ink marred into his skin as memories overwhelmed him. He remembered the room filled with mirrors, the bathtub in which he’d wanted to end his days, the beatings–_

_With tears streaming down his cheeks, he looked up at Hoseok. "Where’s Minhyuk?"_

_Hoseok let out a shaky breath in relief, a few of his own tears leaving damp trails on his skin. "That’s what I intend on finding out. Minhyuk, all of them–I have a theory, but I’ll need you. We’ll find everyone and start from zero."_

He could still remember Hyungwon breaking down in his arms – the strong boy who’d always fought against showcasing his weaknesses and inner wars. He’d decided to put the original watch in Hyungwon’s care, knowing that he’d be comforted by having a piece of Minhyuk’s presence with him the whole time, and built a couple more replicas with his help. 

Hoseok spared the holographic watch on the brick wall one last glance, before smiling to himself and pressing the button on his wristwatch, disappearing in time. 

As he opened his eyes, the familiar dojo materialized around him, as well as the only person inside it, sitting cross legged on the floor, dressed in a tracksuit and beads of sweat forming at his temples. His dark eyes met Hoseok’s, and he stood up with a soft smile on his plump lips. 

"You came."


	22. From Zero - Seventeen

_2017, November 7th, AM11:03_. 

Minhyuk heard the small bell he’d hung above the front door clink, and glanced over his shoulder to see the same peculiar boy who was his most regular client. The tall boy bowed his head in greeting, before the two shared a smile and he walked to the empty booth by the window. It had become a routine, Minhyuk noted, for the boy to drop by every morning at the same time with a rolled newspaper under his arm, to order the same coffee, some days a croissant, some not. Minhyuk didn’t know who he was, didn’t even know his name, but he knew his preferences by heart. He knew just how much milk to add to make his coffee perfect, no sugar. If he said nothing, then he didn’t want anything more – other times he would softly mutter, " _A croissant too, please_ ," before walking to the most secluded booth he could find. 

Minhyuk refused to admit that he’d learned the boy’s preferences just to be rewarded with a warm smile and a pleased hum. And how he loved the boy’s smile, when his thick lips stretched in a sleepy grin, his pudgy cheeks becoming more prominent, and his eyes sparkling. 

He finished the espresso he’d been preparing for his other client, only a table away from his regular one, and collected the French toast and fresh fruit on a platter, before delivering them to him. His eyes momentarily widened upon seeing the large title on the front page of the newspaper the man was reading – _Time Traveller Skips Town!_

_Just what newspaper is he reading?_ It didn’t resemble any of the local ones, but Minhyuk had shrugged it off. 

The older man eyed him carefully, making Minhyuk squirm in his own skin, but soon dismissed him with a thankful nod. Adjusting the newsboy hat over his dark locks, Minhyuk scurried back to the coffee machine and busied himself with the boy’s usual, taking longer than normal to collect himself. He averted his gaze above the shelves lining the wall, where a sign that said _Traveller_ rested on the highest one, immediately bringing a smile to his lips. 

His parents’ café that he’d taken over meant the world to him, and only a glance at the sign comforted him, reminding him of his parental figures. He’d chosen to keep the initial design that had been there for as long as he could remember, having grown up in that very same café. The nautical theme reminded him of the sea he’d always dreamed of visiting, and the ship vents hanging off the walls only served to feed his dreams of being on board of a vessel one day. 

Breathing in and out, Minhyuk wore his best smile as he took the coffee to where the boy was seated by the window. Only then did he get a better look at him – as always, he wore an old–fashioned striped suit, complete with a pocket watch and shoes polished to perfection. He’d always found his attire choices odd for his age – he seemed younger than Minhyuk even – but Minhyuk supposed anything would look good on the boy with flawless proportions. 

"Thank you," he uttered in a low voice, a voice that Minhyuk had grown to love and feel relieved each time he heard it. Everything about him oozed drowsiness – the boy reminded him of freezing winter evenings when he loved to snuggle under thick blankets and warm his hands with a steaming cup of hot chocolate and marshmallows from the same seat that he currently occupied, long after the last client had left. The seat offered the greatest view of the cheerfully lit streets at night. 

Shaking the thoughts out of his head, Minhyuk spun on his heels and walked back behind the counter, sending a silent prayer for the boy to leave no earlier than the older man who brought goose bumps all over Minhyuk’s arms. He slouched onto a chair, and closed his eyes for a moment. 

_He’d been dragging a damp rag over the surface of the table, scrubbing until he was satisfied with the clear reflection, when the door burst open and got slammed closed by the incoming draft. Alarmed, Minhyuk turned to meet his friend’s watery eyes, clearly fighting back the tears with all his might._

_"What happened, Kyunnie?"_

_Only then did his eyes stray downwards to where his jeans had been ripped at the knees and stained with crimson specks of blood. Without a word, Minhyuk dropped the rag he’d used to clean the tables in the café, and ran to hold the boy in his arms. Three years his junior, Changkyun was considerably smaller, so his face fit perfectly against Minhyuk’s chest, his tears forming dark blotches in the elder’s shirt._

_"It’s alright, Kyunnie," he spoke soothingly, his fingers weaving through Changkyun’s soft curls. It had always reminded him of patting a lost puppy, which only made him adore the younger boy more._

_"My–my jeans–" the boy hiccoughed through his sobs, angrily rubbing his runny nose with the back of his sleeve. "Mother will be upset–"_

_"Shhh," Minhyuk cooed, pulling Changkyun away, but keeping him at arm’s length to rub his tears away. "I’ll find an old pair of mine to replace them."_

_The younger surprised him by rolling his teary eyes at him. "You’re tall, Minhyukkie – you’ve always been. They’ll be too big on me."_

_Minhyuk, in turn, rolled his eyes at the younger boy. Shaking his head, he urged him to take a seat while he searched for disinfectant and band aids. Ever the one with a flair for dramatics, Changkyun squirmed in his seat each time Minhyuk dabbed a cotton pad over his scratches in touches light as a butterfly’s fluttering, and squealed in a pitch too high for his normally low voice before Minhyuk even touched him. Adding a band aid and sealing it shut with a kiss over his wound to speed up the recovery, Minhyuk grinned._

_"All done."_

The clinks of the bell above the door awoke Minhyuk from his light slumber and, looking at the previously occupied tables, he only found the boy in the striped suit sipping his coffee, and empty dishes and a couple of bills on the table near his. The boy looked up and met Minhyuk’s eyes, a smile stretching over his face. 

"I asked him to not disturb you," the boy said, turning in his seat to face Minhyuk. "You looked peaceful." 

Minhyuk’s eyes widened, and he could feel the blood rush to his cheeks. "You–you shouldn’t have," he said, standing up so fast in his dozed state that he felt dizzy, and needed to sit back to gather himself. 

The boy’s eyebrows furrowed. "You alright?" 

"Mmm," Minhyuk hummed, moving to clear the table that the older man had previously occupied. He sent a silent _thank you_ that he’d been the first to leave, exempting him from having to spend a moment alone under his scrutinizing gaze. The looks that man had given him had made him feel _guilty_ , for some reason or another, though it had been their first encounter. 

"It’s a nice place you’ve got here," the boy spoke out of nowhere, almost causing Minhyuk to drop the dishes he carried to the washing machine with his soft, soothing voice. "I hope you don’t mind me spending hours here every day. It’s rather calming." 

"Oh!" Minhyuk jumped, discarding the dishes before he broke anything. "No, no, I–I feel the same way. You– _it–the café–_ it’s calming, yes." 

The boy laughed heartily at his stutters, and Minhyuk didn’t know how much longer he could handle it. If there was anything he loved more than the boy’s voice, it was the sound of his laughter. 

"Do you–" Minhyuk coughed in a failed attempt of hiding his shaky voice, choosing instead to turn towards the washing machine to occupy himself with anything else than looking into the boy’s warm eyes. "Do you mind if I ask what your name is? It’s just–you come here so often and–I–well–" 

"Hyungwon," the boy said in an instant, putting Minhyuk out of his misery in the middle of his rant. "I’ve always known yours from your tag, so it’s never occurred to me to introduce myself." 

_Hyungwon._

_Hyungwon, Hyungwon, Hyungwon._

Minhyuk wished he could try it out loud, see how it rolled off his tongue, but he didn’t want to scare the boy– _Hyungwon_ , unless he had already. Hyungwon, the boy who came in for his daily coffee at the same time–the time that Minhyuk referred to as Minhyuk time, as coincidence had made it the date of his birthday. Being something that Hyungwon would have no way of knowing, Minhyuk supposed he was a man of routine, always leaving his home at eleven o’clock sharp on a three minute walk to the café. It made perfect sense to him. 

"Did you just turn on the washing machine with only a plate and a cup in it?" 

Minhyuk turned to look at Hyungwon with widened eyes. "I–what–" 

The soothing laugh rang in his ears. "I thought it’s an awful waste of resources, but then again, I’m not the one paying the bills." 

Minhyuk ran a hand through his flattened hair and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, before readjusting the newsboy hat on his head. "It’s fine," he brushed it off with a dismissive hand in the air. 

Minhyuk returned to the emptied table to collect the money, when he noticed that the man had forgotten his odd newspaper. The words written in large letters flashed before his eyes once again – _Time Traveller Skips Town!_

"Time traveller," he said to himself, taking a look at the date of the newspaper. 

_2047, November 11th._

"What in blue blazes is this–" he muttered, unaware that Hyungwon was watching him closely, searching for any indication of recognition on his face, but there was none. 

"Probably an editing mistake," Hyungwon said with a shrug, causing Minhyuk to jump in surprise. "It happens every now and then." 

"Mmm," he hummed in response. He wanted to argue that the misplaced number was far away from the correct one on a typewriter, but he’d decided to drop it. It _was_ likely only his rich imagination. 

Minhyuk couldn’t help but think that it was something that would’ve brought a glint to Changkyun’s eyes, who’d always insisted that the government was hiding a way of travelling through time and space from the population. He shook his head with a laugh to himself, sobering up upon remembering all the stories the younger boy would tell him. 

_"Hyung?" Changkyun asked tentatively, kicking a pebble as he walked side by side with Minhyuk, who insisted on escorting him home at night._

_"Yeah?"_

_"Don’t you ever feel like something is missing from your memories? Like they’re not truly yours?"_

_Minhyuk watched him oddly. "What are you talking about, Kyunnie? Have you been reading a book about alternate universes again?"_

_Changkyun shook his head, his soft curls falling in his eyes. He was usually too mature for his age, but the action had made him look so young and innocent that it awoke protective instincts in Minhyuk. "It’s just–sometimes I get these flashbacks that just–they don’t match with the rest of what I’ve lived."_

_The elder’s frown deepened with each word. "Kyunnie, are you alright?" he asked, stopping to brush his hair back and place his palm over Changkyun’s forehead to check his temperature. The boy comically crossed his eyes to look up at Minhyuk’s hand._

_"Hyung," Changkyun whined, softly pushing Minhyuk’s hand from his forehead. "I just," he shook his head, walking away. "Never mind."_

_"Okay, I’m sorry," Minhyuk rushed to catch up with him. "Tell me more."_

_Changkyun threw him a doubtful look, and Minhyuk couldn’t even blame the boy, but he’d decided to go on with his story. "I–I dream of delphinium a lot. Jooheon hyung would always–"_

_"Who?"_

_"Right," the younger looked away. "They’re probably just dreams I’m remembering only now. But they feel so real, hyung. Like I’ve actually been there and lived them. And delphinium–isn’t it supposed to be poisonous?"_

_"Mmm."_

_"It was healing us in my dreams."_

_"Us?"_

_"Yeah," Changkyun smiled at the elder. "You were there too, with your soul mate. I’m hoping that part of my dreams is real – he’s beautiful, hyung. Inside and outside."_

_Minhyuk was at a loss for words. He didn’t know what to make of Changkyun’s stories, as he’d never had such dreams before that felt as real as Changkyun claimed._

_"Kyunnie," Minhyuk said, wrapping an arm around the boy’s shoulders. "What do I do with you?"_

_Changkyun chuckled half–heartedly, shaking his head. "I’m sorry, hyung. It’s just a dream. I’ll let it be."_

Minhyuk hadn’t realized he’d once again drifted off to sleep as Hyungwon sipped on his coffee. Dazed, he dragged the back of his hand over his eyes and groggily opened them, to find the café eerily empty and silent. Sighing, he walked to the table previously occupied by Hyungwon to collect the cup and the money, when a wristwatch that ticked merrily caught his attention. Hoping that Hyungwon was still nearby, he nearly ran through the glass door in his rush to catch the boy, but the street was as deserted as his café. 

_He’s coming back tomorrow_ , he thought. _I’ll return it then_. 

He returned inside with a sinking feeling in his stomach as the emptiness of the café greeted him – it suddenly didn’t feel as comforting anymore without Hyungwon there, even when they didn’t exchange any words. Only being in his company warmed him from the inside out, and it had never felt awkward to stay quiet around the tall boy. The thought of it reminded him of the stories Changkyun would tell him about the soul mate that he’d found in his dreams, and if such things existed, Minhyuk supposed that was his definition of a soul mate. He’d never found a person with whom he clicked so well, fit together like two pieces of a puzzle without even knowing anything about him but his coffee and pastry preferences. 

_I must be mad_ , Minhyuk thought, collecting Hyungwon’s empty cup of coffee.


	23. From Zero - Eighteen

Kihyun propped his head onto the palm of his hand, his elbow planted into the desk from which he was boringly looking at the surveillance camera videos. He thought they were useless, as not many were even aware of the existence of the pawnshop he owned on the outskirts of the town, in the basement of an old building that no one spared a second glance, but Jooheon had insisted upon it, arguing that he had valuable objects sometimes, automatically making him a target for burglars. He shook his head at the absurdity – he rarely got any visitors, making his days as dull as they came. 

The thought of Jooheon brought a sad smile to his face. 

He missed the boy. 

It was the second anniversary from the day of his accident, but Kihyun couldn’t bring himself to take a day off and spend it at home, mourning. It brought back so many memories of every place the younger had explored, and Kihyun couldn’t take looking at any of it and see his face everywhere with his dimpled smile, so he’d decided to spend his day at the pawnshop. 

Exhaling the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, he ran a hand through his ginger coloured locks, uncaring of the ruffled mess he left behind. He thought he could handle living through that day, he’d told himself many times that he was strong, and moping about wouldn’t do a thing to change the past, but he couldn’t help it. He missed Jooheon from his daily life, the boy who was his energy pill, always enthusiastic about one thing or another. 

He smiled as memories of the last day spent together with Jooheon flooded him. 

_"We should do this more often, hyung," Jooheon told him as they worked together to destroy their three hours worth of struggles of setting up a tent in the middle of nowhere._

_Jooheon had one day demanded of Kihyun to go camping with him, insisting that he needed to experience living in the woods for at least a weekend. Kihyun had thought that Jooheon knew everything it included, but instead he’d ended up camping with an overgrown toddler who cried out loud at the sight of an ant crawling in their tent. Needless to say, the blond had shrieked Kihyun’s ears off the whole weekend at the sight of each crawly creature they encountered, and having located in a meadow, they encountered many._

_"Need I remind you of the hairy centipede that crawled on your foot last night?"_

_"Hyung!" Jooheon visibly shuddered at the thought, comically shaking all of his limbs as if to shake off invisible insects off of him. Only the thought of them made him feel as though they were all over his body._

_Kihyun’s chest shook with barely contained silent laughter. "Let’s make it a city break next time? Away from–unwanted visitors?"_

_Jooheon pouted, his lips becoming impossibly plump as he did so. "I liked the bonfire, and the roasted marshmallows. And your voice–" he drifted off dreamily as he watched Kihyun put his guitar away in the car. "Hyung, why haven’t you ever told me you could sing like that?"_

_Kihyun shied away, the subject clearly making him uncomfortable with the attention he was getting. "It never came up," he uttered under his breath, stuffing his backpack next into the cluttered car._

_The younger opened his mouth to argue how people would pay to listen to Kihyun’s crystal clear voice, hating that the boy wasted his talent in a pawnshop, but he’d decided to drop the subject to avoid angering him. Although it was Jooheon’s car, he wouldn’t put it past the red headed boy to drive off without him._

_"Can we make a detour on the way back?" he asked instead._

_"What for?"_

_"I want to look at the sea. It wouldn’t be more than an hour or two longer to get back."_

_The blond could see a refusal was on the tip of Kihyun’s tongue, and he couldn’t deny he looked tired after a whole day of hiking through the woods, but instead he sighed and nodded._

_True to his words, Jooheon had made it to the sea within an hour. The two walked out of the vehicle, inhaling the fresh air brought by the currents, shivering in their thin jackets as they sat on a pier and watched the waves break below their feet._

_"Thank you," Kihyun said out of nowhere, gazing longingly at the calm sea as he buried his nose in the turtle neck of his sweater._

_"Hmm?"_

_Kihyun smiled. "I needed this–to be away from everything for some time. It’s been a while since I’ve felt so relaxed and carefree."_

_Jooheon could feel his cheeks flush into a furious red, knowing it was the closest thing to a compliment he could get out of the elder. Indeed, it was a sight he would treasure forever, seeing Kihyun so serene as he faced the cloudless sky and breathed in the salty air, his hair mussed by the wind and his lashes casting shadows over his defined cheekbones as he closed his eyes in mirth._

_"Let’s do this again?"_

_"Mmm," Kihyun hummed contentedly, his eyes still closed and delighting in the warmth of the sun rays hitting his face. "Let’s."_

Kihyun felt a lone tear leave a damp trail across his cheek, though he was smiling, warm on the inside as he remembered the light that Jooheon brought in his life. He’d thought of it many times, to go again on a road trip on his own, to revel in the sounds of nature and to enjoy the recluse from his everyday life, but he realized it wouldn’t be the same without Jooheon’s never ending enthusiasm and overall bright vision of the world. He missed the sea, which he hadn’t seen since the day of the accident. He missed the fresh air, and the chilly currents, as well as the salt he could taste in the air. He missed watching the waves crash on the shore with the sun warming him, and he missed the refreshing feeling of the wind blowing through his hair. He missed the liberty he felt when he looked at the mass of crystalline water, blinding him where the rays of sunlight reflected off its surface. 

But what he missed the most was Jooheon. 

He sniffled, rubbing the end of his sleeve over his face to rid himself of the tears that pooled in the corners of his eyes and threatened to spill. 

A shadow on one of the camera angles on the CCTV distracted him from his thoughts. His eyes scanned the others and, with a rapid beating of his heart, he noticed that a tall boy in an oddly old–fashioned suit was making his way towards the pawnshop. He followed his confident and purposeful strides from one video to another, until he saw the boy face the rusty door, before the two came face to face with each other. 

Kihyun opened his mouth to greet the boy, but he remained speechless as he merely slipped a wristwatch through the small opening in the glass wall that separated them, before disappearing through the door. Open mouthed, Kihyun followed the boy on the CCTV and saw him walk up the stairs and leave the building with a hand casually slipped in his pocket. 

_What just happened?_

He looked at the watch. 

It was an old piece, he could tell as soon as he touched the worn leather strap. Instead of the usual panels and numbers he was used to, this watch had all cogs on display, golden and bronze, turning as if they had a mind of their own. It had no markers for the hours of the day, only a lone X engraved where number twelve should have been. An aged mechanism displayed the date too, the faded paint showing _2017, November 7th, PM05:14_. 

Kihyun was too engrossed in the antique accessory that he hadn’t noticed that the hand that pointed the passing of seconds was slowly moving backwards, dragging the other two with it. As he did so, he dropped the watch onto the desk as if it were haunted, but soon laughed at his stupidity – it was just broken. 

_If only I could turn back time_ , he thought with a defeated sigh. 

_"Where to, next?" Jooheon asked, draping one arm around Kihyun’s shoulders._

_The action made Kihyun feel small, but he didn’t comment on it–nothing could possibly bother him that day. Although reluctant to go camping with Jooheon at first, he regretted the fact that a weekend had passed so fast, forcing him to return to his daily life that he dreaded._

_"We need to return," Kihyun said regretfully, looking away from the blond. "We’ve still got a few hours of driving–I’d rather we be home before dusk."_

_The two rode in a comfortable silence back to their hometown, but a lingering feeling of sadness and regret wafted through the air between them. They had revelled in one another’s calming presence – even Jooheon, who hadn’t known what to make of inviting Kihyun to accompany him, but the boy had shown him an entirely different side of him that he showed no one, and he liked that carefree version of Kihyun, who smiled as though he had no worries in the world, small dimples making an appearance in his cheeks._

_Jooheon stopped the car where Kihyun would get off, but the elder didn’t move, his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach at the thought of returning to his real life._

_"I–thank you for–for all of this," Kihyun stuttered out, busying himself with tugging on a loose string from the hem of his sweater._

_"You’ve already thanked me, hyung," Jooheon teased._

_"I know, I just–"_

_"–needed this, I know. So did I."_

_Kihyun nodded with a strained smile and stepped out of the car, but turned just as Jooheon opened the window. He leaned down for one last look, his hand flying to his fiery hair to tame it against the wind._

_"See you tomorrow, yeah?"_

_"Mmm," Jooheon nodded with a grin, his dimples deeper than the Grand Canyon._

_With that, Jooheon had taken off, watching as Kihyun waved him goodbye in the rear view mirror. He shook his head at the boy’s antics. He wondered why Kihyun had always chosen to hide his true feelings–or even more so, hide that he had any sort of feelings–instead of expressing them, but he supposed it was his own way of protecting himself, so he’d decided to not point it out._

_Jooheon had been so focused on Kihyun’s reflection that got smaller the farther he drove that he didn’t see the truck coming at an alarming speed towards him._

_Kihyun waved, watching the car get farther from him, until he froze in his tracks at what he witnessed, his heart stuck in his throat, disabling his ability to form any words, or any sort of sounds, for that matter. He couldn’t tell what Jooheon had been doing, but his feet ran from beneath him as if he had a chance to prevent it from happening, but it was to no avail. As he ran, he watched Jooheon drive straight into a truck, his car swerving off the road and spinning once in the air, before crashing with a loud thud, the sound of crushed glass making his blood curdle._

_He couldn’t run fast enough._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish you all a happy new year! Let's make it a good one, yeah? ^^


	24. From Zero - Nineteen

"Of course I came," Hoseok grinned as he strode further into the dojo. 

Hyunwoo shook his head with a light smile over his lips. "I always feel like one day you won’t return." 

Hoseok remained silent. 

He knew he had taken a risk when he revealed who he was to Hyunwoo, instead of getting to know him as if they had never met before, and visit him like any other person would – through the door, instead of materializing in the middle of the dojo, but he’d found it too painful to be in the elder’s presence with him being oblivious to his own past. Hoseok had taken a leap of faith and told him, and Hyunwoo merely nodded, accepting it as a fact when he’d first witnessed Hoseok warp time. 

"Did you warm up already?" Hoseok asked, watching the beads of sweat forming at Hyunwoo’s temples. 

Hyunwoo nodded in response, walking towards the bench that sat on the side of the dojo, where his _bogu_ and _shinai_ awaited. The two changed into their kendo equipment, both moving slowly, as if they wanted to prolong each moment they spent together. The elder had first thought he’d be indifferent as to whether Hoseok ever stopped returning for their usual kendo practice, but it turned out that he would miss the boy dearly. Hoseok was a breath of fresh air each time he visited him with his bright smiles and overall cheerful, contagious aura that floated around him. 

It had all become a well rehearsed play for them. Hoseok turned his back to Hyunwoo, wordlessly holding out the strings of his _tare_ , and Hyunwoo didn’t need telling to take hold of them and tie them behind Hoseok’s back. 

_Shinai_ in their firm hold, the two moved across the dojo, gracefully and barefoot, in a play all too familiar. One would attack and the other would dodge effectively, before the roles became reversed. It was calming, to say the least, the sound of clashing bamboo resonating through the large dojo, the only other audible sound being that of their silent pants and short breaths. 

With one last clash, the two fell to the floor, their heads lying next to one another, their breaths ragged, and sweat glistening over their skin. 

Sighing, Hyunwoo closed his eyes. He was at a loss for words, as the atmosphere felt tense around them, and Hoseok was uncharacteristically quiet, but Hyunwoo didn’t know how to approach the subject without further upsetting the younger. He focused on something else instead, memories flooding in the back of his head as he lay down. 

_"Good job," he said, taking a more relaxed posture, his hand dropping to the side where his_ shinai _hung limply._

 _The younger beamed as he ran a hand through his damp hair to push it away from his forehead, proceeding to change out of his_ bogu _._

_"Next time I’ll beat you," Hoseok grinned. "You’ve trained me well."_

_Hyunwoo shook his head, an indulgent smile spreading over his lips. "I’m beginning to doubt that I have ever been your instructor. Would’ve taught you to be more modest and respectful towards your elders, too."_

_Hoseok’s laughter rang off the walls of the dojo as the two sat cross legged on the floor, leaning back on the palms of their hands._

_"Hyung?"_

_"Mmm?"_

_Hyunwoo glanced over at the younger boy. His eyebrows set into a frown at the sight awaiting him – Hoseok had never been one to squirm under his watchful gaze, nor uncomfortable with sharing his deepest feelings, so it came as a surprise when the brunette did just that._

_"Have you ever wondered–?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_It was only when Hoseok nervously rubbed a hand over his neck and moved his hair aside that Hyunwoo saw the hint of something inked in the very same place where he’d had his own tattoo inked. His fingers flew over the marred skin, but it was soon forgotten when Hoseok had found the courage to speak again._

_"Have you ever felt like–like we’ve met before?"_

_Hyunwoo watched him with an unreadable expression. It was obvious that Hoseok was having an internal war with himself, trying to figure out if it was a smart choice to reveal himself to Hyunwoo or not._

_"In a previous life, you mean?"_

_Hoseok pursed his lips, words practically fighting their way out of his mouth, until he nodded eventually. "Yeah, I suppose. Have you ever felt it?"_

_Hesitantly, his eyes finally met Hyunwoo’s, but he couldn’t tell what the elder was thinking. There wasn’t any judgement – he wasn’t frowning, nor smiling. His lips weren’t pursed, nor did he seem to jump to any conclusions._

_"There’s a familiarity about you that I feel," the elder said. "But I don’t know what to make of it. We work well together, and we’re always coordinated, more so than I’ve ever been with any of my trainees."_

_Hoseok’s eyes widened comically at the last answer he had ever expected to get from the elder. He thought of Hyungwon, of what he would say if he were to divulge his secret to Hyunwoo – Hyungwon, who patiently waited for the right moment, and visited Minhyuk each day, without the latter knowing who he truly was. He admired the boy’s persistence and strength to fight the urge to yell, "It’s me! You know me!"_

_"What’s bothering you?" Hyunwoo asked, bringing Hoseok’s mind back to the dojo._

_He shook his head with a breathy laugh, his fingers twining to fumble nervously. "I–I wish it were that simple to tell you."_

_"Just say it. If it’s something bothersome, we can forget all about it and live as though it never happened."_

_Hoseok’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he visibly swallowed his nerves away. "Would you–would you believe me if I said that we’ve truly known each other in another life?"_

_"What was this life like?"_

_The corners of Hyunwoo’s lips stretched into a smile, as he hadn’t thought it possible for the boy’s eyes to widen even further._

_"Hard," Hoseok said, averting his gaze away from Hyunwoo’s eyes. "We’ve had many fights to battle–with the outer world, and with our own selves."_

_At the sound of Hyunwoo’s soft laughter, Hoseok couldn’t help but turn to look at him._

_"So, it was real."_

_"Excuse me?"_

_Hyunwoo shook his head, searching for the right words. "I had a dream, the night after the first time you came in here. It felt–more like a memory than anything else I’ve ever experienced."_

_"What–what are you saying?"_

_"The X–Clan, isn’t it obvious?" Hyunwoo grinned, turning to point towards the dark X permanently scarred into his skin. "I thought I saw you had a matching tattoo. Would explain how I got it, too, as I have no recollection of it."_

_"You–" Hoseok choked out, tears suddenly streaming down his cheeks. "You believe it? Truly?"_

_Unsure of what to do to comfort the younger boy, Hyunwoo patted his back lightly in what he hoped would be a comforting movement. "I find it hard to believe it," he shrugged, "but it would sure explain many things."_

"Did you fall asleep?" Hoseok’s voice brought him back to the present. 

Hyunwoo opened his eyes, and found Hoseok in a sitting position, the younger’s head right above his, watching him closely. 

He shook his head. "Just thinking." 

Hoseok quirked an inquiring eyebrow. "About?" 

"About the day you’ll stop returning to this year." 

"Why would I–" 

Hyunwoo shook his head as a way to stop him from talking as he got up and crossed his legs. "Time regulators are hunting you down, you’ve said so yourself. It’s only a matter of time–if only you let me come with you–" 

"That’s _exactly_ why I can’t take you with me. It’s enough that they’re on my tail. You don’t need to live a life where you constantly have to look behind you." 

"It’s only temporary," Hyunwoo argued, unable to meet Hoseok’s gaze. "Only until we find everyone and we’re all reunited. And if you let me join–maybe I would be helpful." 

Hoseok stood to his feet and walked away to grab his kendo equipment. 

"I’m leaving. I’ll see you in two days, yeah?" 

Hyunwoo didn’t look at him when he said, "I’ll be here." 

With that, he tapped the button on the side of his wristwatch, and disappeared into thin air, only to materialize at the abandoned bus station that was near the pawnshop where Hyungwon worked. Little did he know that Minhyuk was waiting at the very same bus station, only thirty years in the past. It was late at night, just past the closing hour at the café. Hyungwon hadn’t returned that day, the first day he hadn’t come ever since his first visit, so Minhyuk stood there alone, clutching the wristwatch that the tall boy had left behind the other day. It was a peculiar thing, and broken at that, as he’d noticed earlier in the day that the hands moved backwards. 

A passing bus scared him out of his deep thoughts. He looked up at the map behind him, which pointed towards _Café Traveller_ to the left, the old dojo to the right, and– _The Age Tunnel_? He frowned, unaware of this tunnel’s existence, but soon brushed it away – it was likely something newly built. He looked to the side instead, wondering in which direction Hyungwon could have left. He felt compelled to search for the boy to return the watch, he would tell himself, but in fact he needed to see him – to be close to him. 

He shook his head. Who was he fooling? In all the weeks that Hyungwon had come in on a daily basis, he had never thought to look where the boy was headed next, knowing that the next day they would meet again. He’d never considered the possibility of Hyungwon ceasing to return, and when it happened, he felt like a piece of him was missing, which was odd. The two had barely exchanged a couple of words, but it was an unexplainable tug he felt in his heart, like a string connected to Hyungwon’s, urging him to tag along wherever Hyungwon went. 

Minhyuk sighed dejectedly. 

All he had of Hyungwon was the old wristwatch that he held onto for dear life. He turned the small device in his hand, and frowned at the hands that moved in the wrong direction. He looked to the side, where he found a couple of buttons, likely meant to set the hour. He turned the first that, indeed, was used to set the correct hour, but when he tapped the second, he felt lightheaded. 

With stuttering steps, he pushed himself back against the closest wall, and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. _What happened?_

Still seeing stars before his eyes, he took a look around him, and his breath got stuck in his throat. 

He was no longer at the bus station. 

Running a hand through his hair, Minhyuk stared at the brick wall in front of him, recognizing the all too familiar narrow street of the marketplace. It was late at night, so the street food vendors were away, therefore leaving more space to move about. He looked to his left and to his right, frowning upon noticing that some stores had changed in the past years, compared to what they looked like over there. 

He closed his eyes. 

_I must be dreaming_. 

Tentatively, he opened his eyes again, only to find that he was on the same narrow street, as he remembered it from years before. The pebbled alley that had been fixed, the missing bricks in the old flower shop–it was all back to the way it was in the past. 

_Past?_

Scrunching his nose, deep in thought, Minhyuk glanced over at the wristwatch that he still held in a death grip and, to his surprise, the hands had started moving in the right direction. 

_Dream. It must be a dream._

If only he had more time to think about what was happening to him– 

"Over there!" 

Alert, he looked behind him, and recognized the man from the café, whom he’d seen when he’d last seen Hyungwon. Dressed in a suit and black lenses obscuring his eyes from view, he was running towards Minhyuk, a couple more men in tow. 

He ran. 

Trying to remember the pattern of the streets he’d frequented as a child, Minhyuk ran in a failed attempt of losing the men following him, until a hand roughly tugged him to a side street, and another covered his mouth. Wide eyed, he tried to fight whoever was holding him against a chest, and he’d almost escaped the relatively weak hold, when the one holding him whispered close to his ear. 

"Shhh. Hyung, it’s me." 

_That voice_. 

The voice that was too deep for its owner. The voice he hadn’t heard in years. 

"Changkyunnie?" 

Almost afraid, Minhyuk turned to look at the boy he hadn’t seen in too long, and whom he’d missed dearly. Tears streamed down his cheeks only a moment later, and soon he’d become a sobbing mess in Changkyun’s arms. He was the older of the two, and he was supposed to be the composed and comforting one, but then again, Changkyun had always been more mature than Minhyuk. The younger boy held him as he cried against his chest, feeling the material of his shirt dampening with the brunette’s tears. 

" _Changkyunnie_ ," Minhyuk sobbed in a broken voice, unable to form any other words. 

"It’s alright, hyung. I’m here." 

"But–it’s been–" 

"What year is it where you came from?" 

The question had put an abrupt stop to Minhyuk’s tears. "What do you mean?" 

Changkyun sighed. "Please, hyung. Just tell me." 

"I don’t understand," Minhyuk frowned. "Year 2017, of course." 

"Mmm. It’s 2015 here." 

Minhyuk’s mouth opened, but he couldn’t form any coherent words. He wanted to inquire, wondering what the boy was blabbering about, but he couldn’t help but stare at him after going two whole years without a word from him. Changkyun looked like he hadn’t aged a day, and his soft curls were still bleached into a sandy blond. Minhyuk instinctively smoothed away a stray lock, when Changkyun spoke. 

"Hyung, it’s–it’s a long story," he said, his eyes straying to the wristwatch in Minhyuk’s hand. "I take it you’ve met Hyungwon?" 

The brunette’s eyes widened. "How did you–" 

Changkyun seemed impatient to answer all of his questions, but he couldn’t blame the elder–it wasn’t even his fault he didn’t remember. "You gave him one identical to that very same watch, a long time ago." 

"But I–" 

"Don’t remember it, I know. Listen, we need to run before they find us. All you need to know for now is that the watch can warp time, and they’re time regulators that–oh, no. _Run_." 

Minhyuk was in too much of a daze to process all the new information– _ridiculous_ information at that, but he had no choice but to follow Changkyun, as the boy had grabbed onto the end of his sleeve and pulled Minhyuk with him into the maze of narrow streets filled with various stores and vendors. 

They seemed to have run endlessly, the three suited men mere meters behind them, when he heard Changkyun curse softly. 

"Hyung," Changkyun said, twining his fingers with Minhyuk’s. 

"Y–yeah?" 

The men were right in front of them. Minhyuk recognized the man from the café as being the one in the middle–the same one who was slowly raising a gun at the two of them. 

"The watch. _Now_." 

Finally realizing what Changkyun was trying to tell him, Minhyuk wasted not a minute longer to press the button that had brought him to that place, but not fast enough. The shot still rang in his ears as he found himself once again at the bus stop, the watch in his hand broken beyond any repair. 

And Changkyun was still stuck in 2015.


	25. From Zero - Twenty

Kihyun stared at the wristwatch in his hand, turning it over from one side to another to study every minuscule detail about the small mechanism. It was an old model, for sure, but it had been kept in a perfect condition. The cogs inside weren’t rusty, turning inside the watch and dragging the hands in the wrong direction. There was only one graving above the turning cogs, an X marred on top of the display. The small rotating numbers that showed the date were in a condition just as good as the rest of the watch, showing the correct date. 

His fingers ghosted over the two buttons on the side of the watch. Lightly, he turned the first one, and tried to bring it back to the few minutes it had moved back, but the hands started moving backwards right away. He looked at the second button, wondering whether it was worth to even try it, but touched it nevertheless. 

The next thing he knew, he limped a couple of steps before gaining back his balance. He looked around with wide eyes, finding that he was no longer in his pawnshop, but instead on the most dreaded road that haunted him day and night. The road was clear, the sky was bright and sunny, exactly as he’d remembered it from the last time he’d been there, the current day marking exactly two years. He looked at the watch and, to his astonishment, it started moving in the right direction. 

Before Kihyun could even question how he’d gotten there, the all too familiar van drove past him. He was frozen on the spot as his brain slowly processed what was going on. He couldn’t fathom how it was possible for the same car, the one that had been wrecked beyond any repair exactly two years prior, to drive past him. It felt like a déjà vu– 

Petrified to his core, he turned to look at the car that, just like two years before, drove straight into a truck. Turning away from the gruesome sight, he pushed his hands roughly through his hair in desperation, as he couldn’t watch it happen again. Soon enough, the sounds of metal groaning under the pressure of its heavy landing after spinning in the air resonated in his ears, as well as those of crushed glass. Tears pooled in the corners of his eyes as he ran helplessly towards the wrecked car, just as fast as he’d run the last time. Unable to hold back the tears, he dropped to his knees, uncaring of the sting of the newly acquired scratches where his jeans were ripped in the knees. 

_It’s a dream–it must be_ , he chanted over and over again in his head in a pathetic attempt of calming himself before going into shock. _It happened already, this is just a nightmare_. 

He couldn’t calm down. 

His breaths had quickly become short and worrisomely fast. He knew that little oxygen was making way into his lungs as he’d begun to feel lightheaded. 

Looking away, he covered his mouth with his free hand, trying and failing to suppress the sobs that shook his entire body, until he’d realized what was occupying his other hand. The watch, the blasted watch that had brought him back to the moment of Jooheon’s accident, was moving backwards once again. 

He felt like all the air had been knocked out of him. 

Could it be that the watch was telling him something? 

Could it be that the watch was telling him to return to a certain time? 

In his daze and with uncontrollably shaky hands, Kihyun fumbled with the watch, and pressed the second button once again. 

He was standing on the same road, clear of any disasters, the same dizzy feeling he’d had before making him nauseous. He looked at the watch and, sure enough, it moved in the correct direction. Only then did he notice what was displayed on it – _2015, November 7th, PM05:14_. 

"It can’t be," he uttered under his breath, his hand flying over his mouth as new tears made way down his cheeks. 

Before he could think about anything else, he saw the van drive past him, and he ran. He knew he was much slower than the van, but he ran as fast as his legs took him, his heart beating so hard against his ribcage that it threatened to break out of his chest. He ran, but soon he needed to stop in his tracks as the truck had come in sight and, against his wishes, he needed to stand back before getting himself in the middle of the accident that he’d witnessed for a third time – it would do them no good to have him dead, as well. Tears rolled down his cheeks in uncontrollable rivulets, but he knew the watch, which had begun to move backwards, would take him back once again. He only needed to figure out a way to return moments earlier to stop Jooheon from driving away. 

Pressing the button one more time, he shook the dizziness away, and ran. 

The van was getting closer to him, and he’d tried to signal it, but Jooheon’s attention was on the rear view mirror and, feeling his heart drop into the pit of his stomach, he’d realized the blond had been watching him at the time of his accident, remembering how light he’d felt after their weekend getaway as he’d waved him goodbye. 

With a sinking feeling, Kihyun knew he needed to turn back in time earlier than when the watch was taking him. The van passed him by and he pointlessly ran farther, failing to catch Jooheon’s attention to cause him to stop driving, unless he was willing to jump in front of the van and get himself killed. 

As he sprinted along the road, he saw from the corner of his eye that he passed a tall figure standing by the side. Stopping in his tracks, Kihyun’s eyes widened upon recognizing the old fashioned suit he’d seen only minutes earlier, the boy who’d left the wristwatch that he still held onto for dear life watching him closely. 

" _What is this_?" he cried out, holding the watch for the boy to see. 

_Pity_. 

Kihyun could only read pity in the boy’s warm eyes as his feet had given in under his weight, dropping him to his knees before the tall boy. He looked at him pleadingly, but the boy’s expression was unreadable. 

Tires squealing over the concrete, metal budging under the weight of the car and glass crushing to pieces, and Kihyun didn’t know how much longer he could witness the same accident before driving himself insane. The fingers that were twined around the wristwatch shook uncontrollably, to the point he couldn’t make himself press the button one more time. 

"Help me, please," he said, reaching out to hand the watch over to the boy. Only then did he notice an identical replica in his hand, except his hung from a bronze chain. "You know how to operate this, don’t you?" 

The boy watched him silently, regret clear in his eyes as he watched Kihyun break down before his eyes. 

" _Please_ ," the boy with fiery hair begged, his eyes straying to where smoke was rising from the engine of the wrecked car. 

He wondered if it was all a dream. One never–ending, horrific nightmare from which he could not wake up before completing his mission, and it felt as though he never would, therefore doomed to watch it happen over and over again. It was so overwhelming that he wondered whether Jooheon’s accident had even been real in the first place. He prayed to the greater forces that it was all a dream. He would witness it over and over again, if it meant that one time he would wake up and find Jooheon alive and well, smiling at him over one thing or another. 

"What do you want me to do?" the boy in the suit asked him in a voice barely audible over the blowing wind. 

"Help me get back in time, before all of this happens. I–I always get here a moment too late, and–he always–" 

Kihyun was choking on his own tears, and the look the boy was giving him spoke more than any words he could’ve voiced. 

"I can’t," he breathed out. 

"But you know how to use this?" Kihyun asked, referring to the watch in his hand. "Help me use it, you don’t have to take me back– _please_. I have to save him." 

The boy’s eyes became glassier with each word Kihyun spoke. "I can’t let you do that. I–there’s an order that must be kept in this world. I–I can’t let you save him. He died on this day–a person needs to die on this day. That watch–it’s a force not to be toyed with." 

"Why’d you give it to me, then?" 

The boy looked away, gazing painfully at the wrecked car. "To give you a chance to save him." 

"You just said–" 

"I’m giving you a choice," the boy said, looking back at Kihyun. 

His tears had stopped falling, too stupefied to process or do anything. Kihyun repeated the boy’s words in his head, over and over again, until he realized what he’d told him. 

_A person needs to die on this day_. 

A person. 

Not Jooheon. A person. 

"I’ll go in his place," Kihyun said, finally letting out a breath he’d been holding unknowingly, his heart never ceasing to beat at an alarming speed, and increasing still. 

The boy looked at him as though they were the exact words he didn’t want to hear from Kihyun, but the red headed was determined. He could already imagine that Jooheon wouldn’t be pleased if he were aware of anything he’d done, but he wasn’t going to back out. 

"Please," Kihyun begged for the umpteenth time. "Can you help me with this?" 

The boy turned to look at the site of the accident one last time, before closing the distance between him and Kihyun. He opened his mouth to ask if he was intent on doing it, but the look in Kihyun’s eyes had said it all. Biting his lower lip to keep it from trembling, he turned a switch on his watch, and watched as the accident happened one last time, only this time with a different driver behind the steering wheel. 

Order was once again restored in the world.


	26. From Zero - Twenty One

Hoseok had wanted to drop by the pawnshop before returning home, to check if Hyungwon was there, or off thirty years in the past to visit Minhyuk once again. A smile spread over his lips at the thought of those two – although Minhyuk was unaware of anything that was going on, nor did he have any recollection of his past with Hyungwon, he knew no greater force that would keep their soul mate link severed. The two had gone through so many conflicts – both together and on their own – that nothing could break what they had, not even Minhyuk’s temporary memory loss. It was only a matter of time before Hyungwon triggered something within him to remind him of the memories he had lost. 

He walked along the empty street from the bus station he’d materialized at, unable to get the disappointed look in Hyunwoo’s eyes out of his head. Sighing, he pushed his damp hair back, wondering if it had been the right decision to ever tell Hyunwoo the absolute truth. He should’ve known better–the elder had been their leader, so it was obvious that the selfless traits would kick in, no matter the situation. 

_Would it be possible to bring him here–?_

Hoseok shook his head in response to his own inquiry. As much as he treasured Hyunwoo’s presence, he wouldn’t risk another one’s wellbeing for something that he had been supposed to do on his own. Why else would he remember everything they had gone through, all of it, if not for bringing them all back together? Putting Hyungwon in danger as the boy helped him was enough as it was. 

_"Are you sure I can have this?" Hyungwon asked disbelievingly when Hoseok had handed him the watch he’d been using to warp time._

_"Of course," he reassured the taller boy with a smile. "Minhyukkie gave it to you–it’s all yours. I’ll build a replica for myself."_

_A lone tear trailed down Hyungwon’s round cheek. "Hyung, can I–can you teach me–how to use this? Can I–can I come with you?"_

_"Wonnie–"_

_"I know what you’re going to say," Hyungwon spoke in a rush. "I know. Punishable by death, you don’t want to risk my safety, yeah. But I–I need to see him–make sure he’s alright. I need to see for myself."_

_"It’s not only that, you know it," Hoseok tried to reason, but the pleading look in Hyungwon’s eyes told him that the boy wouldn’t budge. "Once you warp time, you’re in their database, and–living constantly on the run–always doubting what’s behind you–that no way to live–"_

_"It’s worth it."_

_Hoseok stopped in his tracks, no longer able to form an argument. He knew he was fighting a losing battle, as the bond that the two boys had was beyond anything he could comprehend. It was something magnificent to witness, really, how this bond had made them one – either one bringing the other down, or conquering the world together, but it was a powerful thing nevertheless._

_"Hyung, this–this is no way to live, either. I–I would rather live dangerously, than merely exist here safely, by myself."_

_Hoseok choked back his tears. In only a matter of minutes, he’d gone from being overly protective of Hyungwon, to despising himself for keeping the boy one moment longer from his soul mate._

_"Very well," he said, holding his hand out to Hyungwon. "Let’s take you to Minhyuk."_

Hoseok kicked a stray pebble to the side of the road as he walked through the night. He couldn’t stop thinking about Hyunwoo – _does he feel the same way?_ He could only imagine the struggles the elder suffered through – he _knew_ Hyunwoo would be helpful in speeding up the mission he’d been given, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to put him in the dangers that he and Hyungwon faced daily. 

Light footsteps not too far behind him had brought his train of thought to an end. He resisted the urge to turn around and see who it was, but instead he’d chosen to speed up his strides and walk away from where he’d initially planned on going. If anyone was on his tail, he was going to drive them as far as he could from Hyungwon. 

A few streets away, Hoseok had purposely changed his route to figure out he was being followed and, minutes later when the footsteps were still audible in the distance, he knew it was so longer a coincidence that someone would follow the same pathway, so he ran. 

As soon as his legs had taken on long and fast strides, the footsteps behind him were no longer quiet and careful, but instead running with a speed to match his. He cursed under his breath for taking a route through an unfamiliar neighbourhood with narrow streets, dank and barely illuminated by a flickering light here and there, but he wasn’t going to lead the time regulators to where Hyungwon was located. 

Coming to the end of a one–way road, Hoseok breathed out a laugh, turning to look at the man whose grin grew considerably at the thought that he would finally capture the notorious Hoseok – the government’s most wanted man. 

"Evening, Sir," Hoseok said with a tentative smile, but the man in the crisp suit was having none of that, as his gun was already pointed towards Hoseok’s heart. 

The image of Hoseok being shot in the chest with what appeared to be electric shocks had woken Hyunwoo from his slumber, sweat dribbling down the sides of his face and neck as he panted, failing to even out his breaths. Barely breathing, he stood up on his bed in a sitting position, wiping the back of his hand against his forehead, unable to get the disturbing image out of his head. 

He hissed when his bare feet touched the cold wooden floor, but he couldn’t help but pace around his bedroom like a madman, worry for the younger boy overcoming him. If only he’d let Hyunwoo tag along, he could have done his best to prevent certain things from happening, such as what had happened in his dream, which he prayed was just that – a dream, and nothing more. 

Knowing that he wouldn’t fall back asleep anytime soon, Hyunwoo walked to his kitchen, where he downed a glass of icy water in one gulp. Nervously running a hand through his hair, he tugged at the short strands, glancing out the window, where his front yard was beautifully illuminated by the moonlight. It reminded him of the times he’d spent there talking to Hoseok about the past he couldn’t bring himself to remember fully. 

_"We had to face trials?" Hyunwoo had found himself repeating Hoseok’s words._

_"Mmm," the younger nodded, holding back the tears that threatened to spill at the memories he recalled. "Yours was–you had to–"_

_"Find myself," Hyunwoo finished for him. "I–I remember bits and pieces, here and there. Changkyunnie–his game–"_

_"Incredible thing, isn’t it?"_

_The elder nodded, humming a reply in agreement. He couldn’t imagine how it had all come to life, couldn’t even fathom the idea of the healing properties of the delphinium flowers, even more so as Hoseok had told him about Jooheon, the peculiar boy with secrets that no one fully understood._

_"But–why–why didn’t we all return to where we’d left from? After finishing the trials? Why split us up in different places and timelines?"_

_Hoseok shook his head, causing his hair to drop over his eyes. "It’s something that’s bothered me from the very beginning. The trials–we’ve all completed them when we freed ourselves from those rooms."_

_"Maybe," Hyunwoo said thoughtfully, carefully choosing each word. "Maybe those weren’t our real trials," he said in a low voice, barely audible over the sounds of night as his fingers brushed through the grass. "Maybe, that was just a warm up for what was to come."_

_Hoseok’s eyes widened upon hearing the elder’s theories. He thought of all the rooms and the challenges each of them had faced in there, trying to piece the puzzle together._

_"Hyung, you–"_

_Hoseok was at a loss for words._

_"Yeah?"_

_"This might just be it," Hoseok muttered under his breath, more to himself than to Hyunwoo. "But now, the question is–how do we get out of this? Will we even–" he felt tears prickle the corners of his eyes, "–will we even find our way back to one another?"_

_Timidly, Hyunwoo placed his hand on top of Hoseok’s, hoping the small action would help even in the slightest to ease the younger’s mind. "We always figure something out, don’t we?"_

Lost in his thoughts, Hyunwoo hadn’t realized that he’d changed into a clean tracksuit, and was already in the hallway by the entrance to his house, putting on a pair of worn sneakers before taking off into the night. He walked with long and purposeful strides, soon realizing he was headed towards the dojo. The look on Hoseok’s face as he was about to get shot by the time regulator still haunted him, so he’d decided to run to the place where the boy had always materialized, in the hope of finding him there, waiting safely for Hyunwoo’s return. 

He stepped into the training area, where he’d spent countless hours practicing kendo with Hoseok, and sat on the floor that he’d scrubbed to perfection, leaning back as he propped his weight onto his hands. 

He’d lost track of time as he sat there and waited, only to realize at the brink of dawn that the day had finally come – the day Hoseok would not return to him. He’d always thought it wouldn’t matter if the boy ever ceased to return, but he’d then realized that Hoseok had irrevocably wormed his way in Hyunwoo’s heart, awakening protective feelings within him, upon which he wanted to act. 

"I’ll wait for you, Hoseok," he muttered to himself under his breath. "I’ll wait right here."


	27. From Zero - Twenty Two

Kihyun’s headache was so intense that he felt as though his skull had been cracked into pieces. He groaned as he tried to massage his temples, wondering if that was what the otherworld felt like. Unlike his preconceived ideas, he hadn’t lost any feeling of pain – he still felt very much alive, if the splitting headache was anything to go by. 

Tentatively, he opened his eyes, slowly adjusting his sight to the dim light that warmed the room he was in. He glanced around, his eyes widening upon recognizing the room as the shared bedroom back at their house– _the X–Clan’s house_. 

His mind went haywire. 

Memories came in a rush to him, so many and so different that they didn’t match. He remembered the troubles he’d gone through to find the location of the delphinium flowers, after being separated from the other members of the clan, save for Hoseok. He remembered the machine that had led him to his own mental prison, and at the same time, he remembered watching Jooheon’s car accident over and over again as if it were a horror film stuck on repeat. His heart beat accelerated at the thought of Jooheon, the memories of whom did not match – how could he lose his life in a car accident, when the image of the projection of the otherworldly boy’s heart returned before his eyes? 

His breaths became shaggier with each passing moment, when a hand settling on the side of his face eased all his worries. It was a touch so familiar, and yet one he hadn’t felt in so long that he couldn’t help but lean into the palm. 

"Welcome back, hyung," the comforting, deep voice spoke through the silence. 

Kihyun, focusing back on his surroundings, looked up to find Changkyun’s warm eyes gazing back at him longingly. He fought them, but the stubborn tears seemed to have a mind of their own as they obscured the younger’s face from his view when they pooled in his eyes, and eventually dropped down his cheeks. 

"Changkyun, what–what is going on? Am I–I’m going mad, aren’t I? All that’s–" 

"Hyung," Changkyun shushed the elder by pressing his index finger over Kihyun’s parted lips. "It’s all over now, you can trust me on that." 

Disbelieving, Kihyun reached out to touch the nearest thing, which happened to be Changkyun’s arm clad in a warm sweater, as a reassurance that the boy was real and right next to him. He needed a confirmation that Changkyun was real, at the very least, as the memories coming back to him made no sense whatsoever. 

"Where–where’s everyone?" 

Changkyun smiled, moving his fingers to smooth the elder’s fiery hair away from his forehead. "They’ve all been waiting for you to wake up." 

Kihyun had never regretted a decision more than that of sitting up all of a sudden, as black spots materialized in front of his eyes, and a nauseous feeling caused him to fall back against the soft mattress that he’d recognized as belonging to his own bed. 

"Hyung, be careful–" Changkyun started to say, but the light creaking sound of the door opening had interrupted him. 

"Hyunnie!" Minhyuk cried out, stumbling into the room. In only a matter of seconds, the brunette was all over Kihyun, suffocating him in the strong hold of his embrace. 

Kihyun could barely hear Changkyun’s protests at the back of his head, but instead he’d chosen to return the boy’s fierce hug. 

Upon hearing Minhyuk’s loud shriek, the rest of the X–Clan members had begun to file into the cluttered bedroom, one by one, each greeting him warmly. He couldn’t help but notice the different look in everyone’s eyes, as though they’d been through hell and back, but he supposed the same look was mirrored in his own eyes, as well. They had, indeed, been through hell and back, each going to extreme lengths on their journey of finding who they truly were. 

"Can–can someone please explain–I clearly remember _dying_ –" 

Upon hearing those words, Jooheon stepped closer, and sat on the bed situated right next to Kihyun’s. He noticed how everyone had quieted down, their full attention focused on Jooheon. 

"You’ve all successfully completed your trials," the otherworldly boy said, a proud smile spreading over his plump lips. "You’ve all gone above and beyond to find yourselves along the way, and I’m so proud to have witnessed your spectacular progress. The game," he said, sensing the question lingering on the tip of their tongues. "What you’ve first experienced was merely a mock trial to prepare you for the real one." 

Seeing that the boys were all confused, Jooheon had first turned to look at Minhyuk, whose eyes widened. 

"You’ve fallen prey to your strong feelings, so you’ve been sentenced to living in a constant state of wonder at the unfamiliar feelings you couldn’t deny." Jooheon’s smile widened as he watched Hyungwon’s hand slip into Minhyuk’s, and holding onto it for dear life. "It was eating you from the inside out, I could feel it–the helpless feeling of having your soul mate near you, unaware of what he truly meant to you." 

"But–" Minhyuk choked out, grateful for Hyungwon’s support, as the boy squeezed his hand to remind him that he was there. "Changkyun–I remember failing to bring him back to my time–" 

"Mmm," Jooheon nodded. "Your purpose wasn’t to save him. Despite losing him in a time different from yours, you kept on living, having learned to adapt to each change that was thrown at you. You passed your trial." 

With Changkyun’s help, Kihyun had pulled himself into a sitting position, the younger urging him to lean his head against the boy’s shoulder for support. As Jooheon averted his gaze to him, he squirmed under the blond’s scrutinizing look. 

"You were protective to a fault, and therefore faced with the choice of making the ultimate sacrifice in exchange for your own life," Jooheon said, his eyes watering at the thought that the boy was willing to exchange his life for his own. "You’ve done it selflessly and with a sense of responsibility, prepared to face the consequences of your actions. You passed your trial." 

Jooheon had next chosen to turn to Hoseok, whose lower lip trembled with barely contained sobs. 

"Your trial might have been the hardest," Jooheon said with an understanding smile. "I knew the difficulties you went through would make it a challenge to fight against yourself, which is why I’d decided to hand you the mission of bringing everyone back together and allow you to remember everything, therefore becoming the most crucial pawn in this game. You passed your trial." 

Turning to look at Hyungwon, whose eyes were flitting back and forth, in between Minhyuk and Hoseok, at a loss whether the boys were sobbing out of happiness or not, Jooheon had addressed him next. 

"Just like Hoseok, you’ve been given a task of utmost importance of helping him bring everyone back together while bravely battling your fears," Jooheon smiled. "You’re no longer a stranger to yourself, and instead became someone you can look back on and be proud of. You passed your trial." 

Jooheon could feel his eyes prickling with unshed tears. He’d never thought he would grow so attached to the boys around him, who weren’t supposed to be more than a group of fantastic people who needed guidance to find their true selves. Covering his sniffs with a cough, he turned to speak to Hyunwoo. 

"You’ve dealt with the loss of a dear one, and was once again faced with the possibility of someone close to you disappearing at any moment, leaving you to deal with loss once again, and yet you’ve chosen to move forward without losing hope, nor your will to go on living. You passed your trial." 

Lastly, he turned to look at Changkyun, the two exchanging a knowing smile that left everyone else baffled. Their youngest had always been somewhat of a mystery to all of them, although he wasn’t a higher being like Jooheon, and yet he’d always given the impression that he was aware of things beyond the comprehension of the rest of them. 

"Thank you," Jooheon said, lowering his head into a grateful bow. "Despite being the youngest, you’ve always remained a constant in their lives, a solid rock that anchored them when they strayed on wrong paths. You’ve kept everyone united through your constancy, and successfully completed the circle. You passed your trial." 

The boys remained quiet for a while. For how long, none of them knew. 

They all glanced at one another, warmth radiating through them all from the inside out as the realization of having truly completed their trials seeped in. They revelled in one another’s comforting presence, all deciding that it was a feeling they wouldn’t trade for anything in the world, the constant feeling of protection and security. 

"I–" Jooheon choked on his words. "I’ll be going now." 

Outraged, Minhyuk was the first to burst out loud. "What do you mean, _you’re going_?" 

"I–I’ve finished what I came here for–" 

"Where are you going to go?" Minhyuk insisted, cutting his stumbling speech off. 

Unable to meet anyone’s eyes, Jooheon looked away and shrugged lightly, unsure of the answer himself. "To find someone else who needs me." 

" _No_ ," Kihyun roared in outrage. Changkyun needed to hold him back upon his outburst, knowing that Kihyun was still in a daze after having completed his trial. "I was going to _die_ for you, damn it. I’m not letting you go." 

"Besides," Changkyun pitched in, despite seeing Jooheon overcome by the strong feelings he’d developed for each of them. "You’re part of the clan, you’ve got the tattoo to prove it. You can’t leave us." 

"But–" 

"You’ve always been there for us when we needed support the most," Hoseok joined in, distractedly toying with the frayed end of his sleeve. His eyes were glassy with tears he could no longer control. 

"And you’ve gone above and beyond to help us with all your might," Hyungwon said, momentarily letting go of Minhyuk’s hand to place it comfortingly on Jooheon’s knee, who stared at it as though it were a foreign object. 

"You’ve helped each of us find ourselves when we were lost," Hyunwoo concluded. "But not without becoming one of us along the way." 

The leader of the X–Clan was not even done talking by the time Jooheon had crumbled to pieces before their eyes, making them realize it had been the first time Jooheon had failed to compose himself, no matter the situation. 

He felt loved and accepted, to say the least. The six boys who looked at him as though he was truly a part of their clan had become his one and only family, who’d never failed to bring joy in his life. 

"We’ve become one, protecting the X–Clan," Hyunwoo repeated their first vow as a bonded clan, finally causing Jooheon’s first tears to drop. 

"You’re not going anywhere."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnnn.   
> Since the boys announced that the story doesn't end with the plot in Dramarama, do expect future changes and new chapters when a new MV comes out XD   
> Thank you so much for sticking with this story, and for all your support <33


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